Jack Atrophy's definitions

teach impediment

The disorder that afflicts public school teachers who are hopelessly incompetent at their job. Also known as pedagogical paralysis.

Unfortunately, Mrs. Hughes has a teach impediment. You will not be learning any algebra in her class this year.

by Jack Atrophy August 9, 2022

goy toy

An older Jewish woman's younger gentile boyfriend.

"Have you seen J'Quan, Mrs. Goshberg's' new boyfriend?"

"Yes, I see she's found another goy toy to play with."

by Jack Atrophy August 6, 2022

praymate

A friend who goes to church with you.

This is Andrew. He's my praymate. He goes to church with me every Sunday.

by Jack Atrophy August 9, 2022

poo prick

1. When your penis is covered in feces after engaging in anal sex.

2. When you are engaged in anal sex and a sharp turd pricks the tip of your penis.

Dude, have you been swallowing sunflower seed shells again? I just got poo pricked!

by Jack Atrophy August 6, 2022

es-pee-onage

The creepy and immoral practice of glancing quickly at another dude's dick while pissing at a urinal.

How did James know that I was uncircumcised? He must be a master of es-pee-onage.

by Jack Atrophy August 7, 2022

plight of hand

The visual artist's perennial struggle to accurately represent the human hand.

Often times, plight of hand forces artists to obscure a figure's hands behind objects placed strategically in the foreground of the composition.

by Jack Atrophy August 6, 2022

late crime

When you are so egregiously late for an appointment or event that it is considered criminal.

Patient: Hello, I'm Jack. I'm here for my teeth cleaning appointment.

Dental Receptionist: Your appointment was at 8:00 AM. It is now 4:56 PM. You have committed a late crime. I'm calling the police.

by Jack Atrophy August 9, 2022