Jack Atrophy's definitions

brown beluga

A turd that is all big and knobby at one end but gradually tapers off at the other, resembling the body of a beluga whale.

There once was a man from Chattanooga,
Who dropped a fat brown beluga,
And when he was done,
He screamed just for fun,
"I once blew a guy in Kaluga!"

by Jack Atrophy August 4, 2022

femgoy

A non-Jewish femboy.

Oh, dildo, dildo, dildo
I am so very gay
And if it weren't unkosher
A femgoy I would lay

by Jack Atrophy August 4, 2022

femjoy

The happiness that comes with being, or being with, a beautiful femboy.

There once was a fella named Troy,
Who was the absolute best waterboy,
After a game,
He’d dress like a dame,
And give the whole team some femjoy!

by Jack Atrophy August 5, 2022

contact bi

A heterosexual who becomes spontaneously attracted to members of the same sex after shaking hands with a sexy gay guy.

Also, the phenomenon in which this occurs.

"Hey, want to go camping next week?"

"Can't dude, still coming down from that contact bi I got at the gym last month."

by Jack Atrophy August 5, 2022

social Carlinism

The practice of not emotionally investing oneself in the grand outcome of humanity while approaching society as an amusing spectacle. This attitude was famously espoused by comedian George Carlin.

The preface to Brain Droppings is the best summation of the philosophy of social Carlinism.

by Jack Atrophy August 5, 2022

FUPA fromage

The name of what you are consuming when you suck out clotted dick cheese that has been deposited into the bellybutton of an obese woman who has been baking in the sun for four hours.

After eating that FUPA fromage last night my farts smell like jizzy feta.

by Jack Atrophy August 5, 2022

goy toy

An older Jewish woman's younger gentile boyfriend.

"Have you seen J'Quan, Mrs. Goshberg's' new boyfriend?"

"Yes, I see she's found another goy toy to play with."

by Jack Atrophy August 6, 2022