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Jack Atrophy's definitions

red rimmer

Dude! Can you buy a new brand of toilet paper!? I'm giving myself a red rimmer every other shit.
by Jack Atrophy August 9, 2022
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split peen soup

When you're all horny in your trailer at night and want to have a special fap, so you sneak into kitchen and grab a can of Great Value sweet peas. You open the can with your Dollar Tree can opener and dowse the peas in canola oil. You then proceed to fuck the can of peas, but because all of the products you use are cheap and you are poor and stupid, there's a jagged piece of metal on the rim of the can that suddenly splits your dick down the middle. BAM! Now you've got split peen soup.
Girlfriend: We haven't had sex in two weeks. What's wrong with you?

Boyfriend: I didn't want to say anything, but last week I had three servings of split peen soup..."
by Jack Atrophy August 6, 2022
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poo prick

1. When your penis is covered in feces after engaging in anal sex.

2. When you are engaged in anal sex and a sharp turd pricks the tip of your penis.
Dude, have you been swallowing sunflower seed shells again? I just got poo pricked!
by Jack Atrophy August 6, 2022
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gape insurance

Insurance that pays out a sum of money to the injured party in cases where an asshole becomes too loose to retain feces after consistent anal sex.
I may have to wear a diaper for the rest of my life, but at least I got a fat check from the gape insurance company.
by Jack Atrophy August 10, 2022
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steamfunk

A genre of stench in which the aroma of a freshly baked poo combines with the steam from a hot shower.
Mmm... yummy yummy for my tummy. Do you smell the steamfunk from that delectable shit I just took?
by Jack Atrophy August 9, 2022
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praymate

This is Andrew. He's my praymate. He goes to church with me every Sunday.
by Jack Atrophy August 9, 2022
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goy toy

An older Jewish woman's younger gentile boyfriend.
"Have you seen J'Quan, Mrs. Goshberg's' new boyfriend?"

"Yes, I see she's found another goy toy to play with."
by Jack Atrophy August 6, 2022
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