Definitions by Ironballs

prograss bar 

The act of checking toilet paper between each wipe after a bowel movement.

"Hey! Who's in there? What's taking so long? Did your ass grow roots?"
"It's me! My prograss bar isn't moving! It's like wiping a marker!"

prograss bar by Ironballs September 7, 2024

tardigrade amnesia 

When you get so drunk you somehow become impervious to any sort of physical harm, and survive the strangest and most dangerous encounters, without remembering any of it. Named after tardigrades, small animals that can survive in almost any conditions, even in the vacuum of space.

"Dude, what happened? You look like shit!" "Uhh I... lost a drinking contest? ... beer pong? there was a water bucket bong? I don't remember ... think I fell from the balcony into a bush and passed out.. and slept in there until the morning..." "What the fuck? That's some hardcore tardigrade amnesia!"

"So Marc woke up bare ass naked on the beach under an inflatable boat. He didn't know where any of his stuff was so he had to walk two hours to his mom's place wearing some tarp he found on the beach." "Dude it was freezing outside last night!" "Yeah talk about tardigrade amnesia"

tardigrade amnesia by Ironballs March 1, 2020

ass debt 

When you binge on a load of junk food and you realize you will eventually have to take a massive dump

"We stumbled our way home at five o'clock in the morning, we had to stop for pizza and burgers on the way. I ate so much I'm afraid of the ass debt I collected."

"This weekend I only ate beer and pizza, and on Monday I had to repay my ass debt"

ass debt by Ironballs October 20, 2019

constibacon 

The extremely sated and stuffed feeling one gets after consuming too much pork.

Last night's BBQ gave me such constibacon I haven't eaten since, and it's been twenty hours!

constibacon by Ironballs June 1, 2014

shitgnature 

The shit stains left in flush toilets after having been shit into, characteristic to each person.

"Do you have a toilet brush? My crap was so messy my shitgnature wouldn't come off the toilet just by flushing."

shitgnature by Ironballs April 8, 2013