105 definitions by Intelligence001

Arrow

Every adventurers worst nightmare. Protect your knees from the onslaught of arrows, or else you will become a city guard who won't help anyone because you'll think someone stole their sweet rolls.

Guard: I used to be an adventurer like you. Then I took an arrow-
Boromir: In the knee? Must have been awful.
Leonidas: Shut up. Both of you.

by Intelligence001 July 26, 2016

Red Bull

A drink that does nothing the commercials say.

Red Bull (doesn't) give you wiiiings!

by Intelligence001 July 18, 2016

rock salt

What to load into a shotgun if you don't want to kill someone, but you still want it to hurt.

John, remember that you only need to load the gun with rock salt if you want to hurt them, not kill them.

by Intelligence001 March 31, 2021

scots

A Scottish person. They are known for being belligerent, foul-mouthed, and would happily say yes to a whisky.

Show yer damned respect towards the Scots, or else I'll gut ye with me bare hands, ya wee laddie!

by Intelligence001 March 13, 2017

Sea Bear

A vicious creature that lives in the ocean and attacks campers. Here are some rules to follow to prevent attracting these beasts:
1. Don't play the clarinet poorly.
2. Don't wave an active flashlight back and forth. (Flashlights are considered natural prey.)
3. Don't stomp around; they take it as a challenge.
4. Don't eat cheese. (Cubed. Sliced is just fine.)
5. Never wear a sombrero in a goofy fashion.
6. Or clown shoes.
7. Or a hoop skirt.
8. NEVER, EVER, EVER, SCREECH LIKE A CHIMPANZEE.
9. In the event of an attack, do not run. They are agitated by it and will seize the opportunity to attack again.
10. Do not limp, either. They hate that even more than running.
In the event you detect a nearby sea bear, or otherwise feel unsure you are located in sea bear territory, draw a perfect circle in the sand, sit in the middle, and wait for the danger to pass. An oval is not sufficient.

Whether or not the sea bear exists is up for debate, as only one person is known to have survived a sea bear attack. (Witnesses claim he was incompetent enough to try all known ways to attract a sea bear.)

by Intelligence001 February 06, 2017

rot in a sack

A general insult for when someone exhausts your patience really quickly.

Okay, uh, I'll tell you what. You can rot in a sack for all I care. Good-bye.
Wait, don't leave!
ROT! IN A SACK!

by Intelligence001 February 03, 2019

Rum

An alcoholic beverage that is, for all points and purposes, gone.

...But why is the rum gone?

by Intelligence001 November 13, 2016