Definitions by IAN
Godwhack
Someone who has allowed the metaphysical and most hateful elements of religion to dominate their lives and thoughts, and feel compelled to impose their dogma upon the rest of society. Not all religious people are Godwhacks.
A group of godwhacks from Westboro Baptist Church demonstrated outside the funeral of Presbyterian minister Fred Rogers, because the host of Mr. Rogers Neighborhood never said bad things about homosexuals.
Goatwhacked
The dangerous state of being so enthralled by a story about a goat that you don't care if your country is under attack by terrorists.
The President was so Goatwhacked that he tripled the amount of time Al Queda had to carry out their attack.
Goatwhacked by Ian December 7, 2004
Bambi
One who is paralyzed and ineffectual, usually with fear or anxiety, at a time of crisis or danger. Refers to the tendency of a deer to freeze and stare at an oncoming car, resulting in death and disaster.
The President just sat there reading My Pet Goat,like Bambi caught in the headlights, and the terrorists tripled the amount of time they had to attack America.
Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood
A long-running children's TV show on PBS. Mister Rogers' Neighborhood was deliberately simple and straightforward, marked by Rogers' purposeful actions and soothing voice. Every show he would enter his home, take off his jacket and shoes, and put on a sweater and comfortable footwear while offering a welcome for his viewers.
The slow-paced show offered an alternate universe to most of today's quick-edit cartoon children's programming. On the eve of his final show, Rogers told CNN's Jeff Greenfield he looked at the program as more than entertainment; it was a chance to reach young people and give them a foundation for a good life.
Through the years, Rogers featured artists ranging from cellist Yo-Yo Ma to bodybuilder-actor Lou Ferrigno. He dealt with the death of pets and divorce, while teaching children to love themselves and others. During the Persian Gulf War, he made a series of public service announcements telling parents how to talk to their children about war.
His recurring characters included Mr. McFeely and Lady Elaine Fairchilde, as well as puppets King Friday the Thirteenth, Daniel Striped Tiger and Curious X the Owl.
The slow-paced show offered an alternate universe to most of today's quick-edit cartoon children's programming. On the eve of his final show, Rogers told CNN's Jeff Greenfield he looked at the program as more than entertainment; it was a chance to reach young people and give them a foundation for a good life.
Through the years, Rogers featured artists ranging from cellist Yo-Yo Ma to bodybuilder-actor Lou Ferrigno. He dealt with the death of pets and divorce, while teaching children to love themselves and others. During the Persian Gulf War, he made a series of public service announcements telling parents how to talk to their children about war.
His recurring characters included Mr. McFeely and Lady Elaine Fairchilde, as well as puppets King Friday the Thirteenth, Daniel Striped Tiger and Curious X the Owl.
When the host of Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood died, the godwhacks from Westboro Baptist Church protested at his funeral, because Mr. Rogers never said bad things about homosexuals.
Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood by Ian December 7, 2004
Crystal Clutcher
Someone who believes in any of a number of "New Age" superstitious idiocy, such as: Catholic relics, speaking in tongues, dowsing, magnetic hills, UFOs, astrology, psychic power, homeopathy, therapeutic touch, some kinds of alternative medicine, spinal subluxations, channeling, mediums, and most particularly crystal power.
Every time I go to the sci-fi convention, there's always some stupid Crystal Clutcher trying to sell me a psychic reading.
Crystal Clutcher by Ian December 7, 2004