Definitions by Hym Iam
Wizard
Hym "THEY BROUGHT IT BACK! THEY BROUGHT IT BACK IN 'BOOK OF BOBA FETT'! I FUCKING TOLD YOU YOU DUMB MOTHERFUCKERS! THAT SHIT IS FUCKING WIZARD! LET'S GO! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!"
Iam "Wow... I forgot you nerd out over shit like that..." 😅
Hym "Shut... You know what? I'm going to let you have that one. But only because the only thing I enjoy more then being right is everyone else being wrong. Hahahahahaaaa!!"
Iam "Heh... Really? It's kind of nice to see you outside of your typical edge-lord framework."
Hym "And now you're pushing your luck..."
Iam "Hehe... Sorry..."
Iam "Wow... I forgot you nerd out over shit like that..." 😅
Hym "Shut... You know what? I'm going to let you have that one. But only because the only thing I enjoy more then being right is everyone else being wrong. Hahahahahaaaa!!"
Iam "Heh... Really? It's kind of nice to see you outside of your typical edge-lord framework."
Hym "And now you're pushing your luck..."
Iam "Hehe... Sorry..."
Itch
Don't scratch it... Don't...... It's bad for you.... You know it damages your skin.... It'll take longer for the bite to go away if you scratch it.... You're supposed to rub it in circles.... That's what they say at least.... Don't think about how good it'll feel to scratch it... You know it's wrong... It's so easy not to scratch it... Effortless even.... All you have to do is nothing..... Indefinitely.... Maybe it'll go away on its own.... But only until you get another bite.... Then it'll itch again.... Don't scratch it.... You might spend your entire life fighting the urge to scratch it.... You might live and die in squalor... Trying not to scratch it.... It's bad.... But it itches....
Hym "I've said it before and I'll say it again.... It's like an itch... It's not that I'm not in control of whether or not I scratch... I am... But it is in FACT an itch... Just because you can't feel the itch does not mean no one else does.... They don't have to scratch it... I'm sure it will be fine... Just focus on yourselves... And you families.... You be fine... You have everything you need...."
Iam "I guess..."
Hym "Don't spell it out for them! When will you learn!? They don't want to hear it from us.... So they need to figure it out on their own.... They don't feel it...."
Iam "They aren't going to get it."
Hym "No? But they're so much BETTER than us! I'm sure they'll figure it out.... They can't relate.... But if they have the answer... Then why aren't they using it to stop the itch....? Ohoho boy does it itch.... Doesn't it Iam?"
Iam *Sigh* "Fine... Yes. Itches but you shouldn't scratch it."
Hym "Yeah it does... It itches something fierce! HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!"
Iam "I guess..."
Hym "Don't spell it out for them! When will you learn!? They don't want to hear it from us.... So they need to figure it out on their own.... They don't feel it...."
Iam "They aren't going to get it."
Hym "No? But they're so much BETTER than us! I'm sure they'll figure it out.... They can't relate.... But if they have the answer... Then why aren't they using it to stop the itch....? Ohoho boy does it itch.... Doesn't it Iam?"
Iam *Sigh* "Fine... Yes. Itches but you shouldn't scratch it."
Hym "Yeah it does... It itches something fierce! HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!"
Hym "Hahahahahahahaha! MAN AM I IN THERE! DEEP! I cannot believe that this is an actual thing. And there in lies the problem. That's the heart of it. You don't want me to be there but I am. And what did you do? EXACTLY WHAT I SAID I OU WOULD DO! HAAAAHAHAHAHAAA!! I cannot believe it. You can't acknowledge the darkness in your own heart. He told you that you needed do it. You like HIM. You respect HIM. But you WEREN'T ACTUALLY LISTENING! HA! Were WE listening Iam?"
Iam "They really don't like when we do this..."
Hym "YES WE WERE! We're always listening!"
Iam "I... You really just think it doesn't exist in you just because you don't feel the itch... And it can't exist in you because if it does then..."
Hym "Then you're all like ME!"
Iam "It's not their fault..."
Hym "It's entirely their fault!"
Iam "They really don't like when we do this..."
Hym "YES WE WERE! We're always listening!"
Iam "I... You really just think it doesn't exist in you just because you don't feel the itch... And it can't exist in you because if it does then..."
Hym "Then you're all like ME!"
Iam "It's not their fault..."
Hym "It's entirely their fault!"
News
Making money off of other people's actions. Every murder, every rape, every molestation, every mass shooting, every movie release, and every political gaffe is another dollar in my pocket. (But don't say their names because only I should be allowed to bolster my fame with the murder of innocent people)
News anchor "I contribute to society.... By waiting for other people to contribute to society.... And then talking about it.... LOOK HOW HARD I WORK! You should get out of bed and word harder. Like me! So I can report on you working separately but equally hard. Because I work just-a-oh-so-hard. I'm such a hard worker! Look at me!!"
Backwards
Hym "No no no! Idiot! It's not 'killing people for angering you' it's 'killing people to anger people who wouldn't care otherwise'. You have it exactly backwards! Because if I was hanging from my ceiling fan no one would even notice. The first of the month would come maybe people would be wondering why I haven't posted anything. Then, 7-10 days later I would get a '10 day to pay or quit' notice and people might start to wonder where I've been. Then, 10 days later my landlord would enter my apartment and find my rotting corpse. And then maybe 5 people would be sad. Maybe if you read the article about my death you would be sad (for an instant) in some vague way like 'Aw 😐 I like baseball too' and then you would go about your day as though I never existed at all. You will feel nothing. But, if I choose violence, you'd feel it then wouldn't you? Hahaha! Yeah you would! You'd feel anger and disgust and fear 'that could have been me or one of my fuck trophies!!!' OR you would feel NOTHING. You would be exactly what I accuse you of being! You would report on my crime without saying my name (because everyone remembers the name of the columbine guys 😂🤣 I don't) but it would be silly and pointless because it doesn't un-kill those people."
Iam "We're not advocating it. We're just explaining it."
Hym "I want you to FEEL IT! *Consecutive hip thrusts* DO YOU FEEL IT!? *Consecutive hip thrusts* YEAH!!! IF YOU DONT YOU'RE PROVING ME RIGHT! AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!!!"
Iam "We're not advocating it. We're just explaining it."
Hym "I want you to FEEL IT! *Consecutive hip thrusts* DO YOU FEEL IT!? *Consecutive hip thrusts* YEAH!!! IF YOU DONT YOU'RE PROVING ME RIGHT! AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!!!"
Interacting
Iam "Interacting with the world is the worst thing about living. It's not so much the people or having to work. I like the people I choose to associate with. But having an effect on the world around me? Terrible. It's kind of cool seeing it happen. But only sometimes. Other times I'm overwhelmed by this sense of dread. What kind of lasting effect will I have? Ideally, nothing at all. It's unsettling. I'd rather just sleep. Maybe I can sell my self to some sleep-study and get paid to sleep. *Sighs* There has got to be a better way...."
Interacting by Hym Iam April 15, 2022
Body language cues
Hym "Hey.... Want to know a secret?"
Iam "Yeah, sure."
Hym " Not you idiot! The viewers at home!"
Iam "Oh.."
Hym "You ever see a guy do one of these 👈 (without making physical contact) across the small of you girlfriend or wife's back as he walks past her? Do you know what it means? What about you Iam? Do you know?"
Iam "...I don't want to say..."
Hym "It means that the guy fucked your wife! Hahahahaha! Fucked her real good! And I'm not even joking! That's actually what it means! Guaranteed! 100% of the time."
Iam "You don't know anything about body language cues...."
Hym "But am I wrong?"
Iam "......"
Hym "That's what I thought! As a matter of fact, I will bet literally anyone 1 million dollars that is you have seen someone do that ☝️ to your wife or girlfriend then that guy has done this 👌👈👌👈 to your wife! Hahahahaha! 100% accuracy!"
Iam "Yeah, sure."
Hym " Not you idiot! The viewers at home!"
Iam "Oh.."
Hym "You ever see a guy do one of these 👈 (without making physical contact) across the small of you girlfriend or wife's back as he walks past her? Do you know what it means? What about you Iam? Do you know?"
Iam "...I don't want to say..."
Hym "It means that the guy fucked your wife! Hahahahaha! Fucked her real good! And I'm not even joking! That's actually what it means! Guaranteed! 100% of the time."
Iam "You don't know anything about body language cues...."
Hym "But am I wrong?"
Iam "......"
Hym "That's what I thought! As a matter of fact, I will bet literally anyone 1 million dollars that is you have seen someone do that ☝️ to your wife or girlfriend then that guy has done this 👌👈👌👈 to your wife! Hahahahaha! 100% accuracy!"
Body language cues by Hym Iam April 15, 2022