Hym Iam's definitions

Billionaires

So, should fuck-boys not exist or are you going to broaden the distribution of that too?

Hym "The parallel between billionaires and fuck-boys is there."

by Hym Iam June 17, 2024

Why should I give it to you?

Because I want it more than anyone else even cares.

Bartholomew Bartholomewson "Why should I give it to you?"

Hym "That" ☝️

by Hym Iam July 19, 2023

Courthouse

Ope! Looks like somebody's going for him.

Hym "Somebody's on their way to the courthouse to sue Elon for steal his ideas! Wonder if he's stealing anyone else's ideas while I get eaten alive by flies as a donut slave. Huh!? Not like I've generated billions of dollars or anything. God damn. This FUCKING DOGWATER!"

by Hym Iam August 12, 2023

Musk's Biography

The title is going to be "The SECOND greatest man of the 21st century"

Hym "So... If Elon is a super genius... And I created A.I. and he DID NOT do that... What does that make me? Super-duper genius? Super genius 2 (Get it? Like, Super Sayian 2?)? And, speaking of Musk's Biography... Did you bang Grimes? You NEED to redeem us all Chris- Wait! You're not a fat-cock are you? If the answers are 'No and Yes' or 'Yes and Yes' or 'No and No' I need you to grab a belt and find the nearest doorknob.... The only acceptable combination of answers is 'Yes and No.' Goddamn it... You know, what? I'll just do it myself. God... DAMN IT, Chris... You're almost as bad as Andy! None of this is working out properly! You need to screw women instrumentally... To slight my enemies... And hurry up and take your turn with Taylor Swift we need to hurry the line up this is all taking forever."

by Hym Iam February 17, 2024

Right

About how quickly AI would develop!? Wow!

Hym "That is SUPER bad for the rest of you! Wow! Because he's the one getting the idea from ME, right? So his conception of how fast it's progressing should align pretty closely with mine."

by Hym Iam June 19, 2025

Spending less money

OH! BRILLIANT! I (THE GENIUS SCREENWRITER THAT SUCCEEDED WHERE YOU FAILED) DIDN'T THINK OF THAT! IF ONLY MY BRAIN (WHICH HAS RECENTLY BEEN CITED MORE TIMES BY MAINSTREAM INTELLECTUALS THAN ANY OTHER AUTHOR) WORKED MORE GOODERS!

Hym "Right and business owners should just stopped getting robbed! People should just stop getting murdered too! I make 150% more than my previous job but the price of everything has increased by 250% I guess I should just go to the dollar store and by a bunch of cheap heavily processed food so I can contribute to the obesity crisis that you care so much about and drink out of the tap like the peasant slave that I am! Spend every day feeling sick to my stomach until I earn the right to spend my own money on food that isn't poison. It won't get me credit for any of the things I've written. I know!

Maybe the business that refuses to give employees full-time so that they don't have to pay for health or dental insurance should be held accountable for the quality of life they provide for their employees because even though the skill required is low they need an indefinite amount of labor. Labor that consists of staving off the homeless crackheads and panhandlers that frequent the store and scraping shit off the floor because people (apparently) don't know how to use a toilet. I can't work more hours because the managers have labor quotas and don't have any ours to give. And that applies to BOTH of the jobs I'm working. I already AM spending less money because the only thing I pay for is bills and food and drink. I eat one meal a day now. 'WeLl gEt AnOtHeR jOb!' Says the retard. Even doing that would lead to a transitory period where I would run out of money because jobs never start new employees at the beginning of a pay period. Meaning it would take at least a month for me to get a full paycheck. Hopefully I can convince my landlord not to evict me until I get paid. I would literally have to save up money to be able to afford to switch jobs to a job where I make more money. Assuming that anyone hires me (which would also take time). You come here and do it. I can sit and regurgitate my opinion into the ether for and hour and I can do it better than YOU, so, let's see you come down to hell and do my thing. They have to weaponize schizophrenia at you too. Let's see it."

by Hym Iam May 2, 2023

Salma

Oooooooh man... I mean... I'm only allowed to name celebrities here....

Iam "Uuuuuuuuh.... Yeah..."

Hym "PFFT!"

Iam "Don't-"

Hym "PFFFAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! HOLY SHIT IS THAT BAD! GOD DAMN! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Iam "Laugh... God damnit..."

Hym "HA! Yeah, nonono, that! That shit is funny right there! Ohho!"

Iam "Salma I-"

Hym "Pffft! Ahahaha!"

Iam "Stop- It's... Look- I didn't expect it to be like this."

Hym "HOOOLY SHIT! I WROTE A FUCKING HYPER-TEXT AND EVEN I DON'T HAVE THE WORDS TO DESCRIBE HOW FUNNY THAT IS! AHAHAHAHAHAHA! SORRY BOUT THE HERESY! I'M LITERALLY HAVING SCHIZOPHRENIA IMPOSED ON MY BY THE RELIGIOUS! So.... Pfft heheheheheh... And a fat bald atheist bitch but... You know... Not you Matt. You're cool. I mean... You're fat and bald and an atheist but you're not who I'm talking about. Ha!"

Iam "Oh man this kills... This... Wow man... It takes a lot to embarrass me but.... Man..."

Hym "Oho! Wow is right! I never-in-a-million-years though that THIS would be this effective! Fuuuuuuuuuck me! Hey, am I Negan too? I'm curious now actually. I'm I LITERALLY my own favorite character in every show I'm in!? Mirio too? How many are there!? MAN!"

Iam "I'm... Sorry..."😖

Hym "Pfftthahaha! At least she's got a sense of humor about it! Damn! OHGODICANTEVEN! HAHAHAHAHAHA!"

by Hym Iam August 3, 2023