“You should have seen it,” Belinda tells Jack when he picks her up at Sky Harbor. “This douche bag couldn't load Frida and threw a tantrum, ripping off his mask, throwing his phone and storming against the flight attendant.”
“That’s AA Ventertainment!” says Jack blithely. “It’s not the first time and it won’t be the last. Oh,” he adds. “Were there casualties?”
“That’s AA Ventertainment!” says Jack blithely. “It’s not the first time and it won’t be the last. Oh,” he adds. “Were there casualties?”
by Hifalutin! February 07, 2022
A tough season in which you might need a little extra antiseptic assistance, whether mental or physical.
Ms. Jerri left a top seat at Interpol under a cloud but with her head held high: “It’ll pass,” she writes primly in a personal email. “Nothing but a trifling wetsnap.”
“We’re packing for Armageddon,” BooBoo pronounced as he dumped sand out of his shoe. “Marcy, round up the H2O, SPF30plus, wild-sourced grits, a pair of good tweezers and plenty of first-batch Vitamin D in case we hit a wetsnap. I’ll go hotwire the neighbor’s Volvo.”
“We’re packing for Armageddon,” BooBoo pronounced as he dumped sand out of his shoe. “Marcy, round up the H2O, SPF30plus, wild-sourced grits, a pair of good tweezers and plenty of first-batch Vitamin D in case we hit a wetsnap. I’ll go hotwire the neighbor’s Volvo.”
by Hifalutin! February 04, 2022
"Later, Joseph would recall not only the hardships but the small things, the lollipops and mask smiles."
"I used to like flying until it became all slip n sips and mask smiles."
"I used to like flying until it became all slip n sips and mask smiles."
by Hifalutin! January 28, 2022
It was time to quit the Ramble, Panda knew, when the ridickulous combover next to him on the bench cleared his throat, put a hand on The Good One’s Carhartted knee and began to praise the Norway maples. Panda just went there for the birds.
Archie said, "I may be intersex and whatever, but that doesn't mean I appreciated ridickulous purple-tanned Brad in a rainbow speedo bouncing up behind me last summer at Cherries On the Bay."
Archie said, "I may be intersex and whatever, but that doesn't mean I appreciated ridickulous purple-tanned Brad in a rainbow speedo bouncing up behind me last summer at Cherries On the Bay."
by Hifalutin! February 04, 2022
“They’re still working with Leo on his toileting – it’s about time, he’s entering kindeegarden soon!” said Grandmaw, “ – so we were happy when the tike left us a nice casserole in the powder room w.c.”
“I thought I smelled something,” said Kath.
“No, that’s the venison stew,” said Grandmaw. “Soup’s on soon.”
Her homeys consigned Beatrice to the garret of Delta Sigma Theta, which had a private bath. When she protested, she was told that her casseroles were too fragrant for the shared space below.
“I thought I smelled something,” said Kath.
“No, that’s the venison stew,” said Grandmaw. “Soup’s on soon.”
Her homeys consigned Beatrice to the garret of Delta Sigma Theta, which had a private bath. When she protested, she was told that her casseroles were too fragrant for the shared space below.
by Hifalutin! March 06, 2022
“I can still see,” Abra.K.Dabra complained, their eyes atwinkle. “Pass me over the Vegan Volume—stepping out to Club Bahia tonight. I need mascarification – I’d rather be a blind girl, as Etta James had it."
"That was a century ago, said Fifi. "Nude eyes are the thing now."
“I saw Beatrice at Turandot but I didn’t recognize her,” said Extra Ernie. “It looked like two tarantulas had landed on a marshmallow. Then I knew her from her knobby knees and flat chest and remembered how deep she was into mascarification.”
"That was a century ago, said Fifi. "Nude eyes are the thing now."
“I saw Beatrice at Turandot but I didn’t recognize her,” said Extra Ernie. “It looked like two tarantulas had landed on a marshmallow. Then I knew her from her knobby knees and flat chest and remembered how deep she was into mascarification.”
by Hifalutin! March 08, 2022
“Awww,” says Panda. “Surely I qualify for pandemic props. I sang Yankee Doodle while scrubbing my hands, I sanitized all the Amazon packages, I traded my handmade cloth mask for a KN95, I swore off the multiplex, I barricaded my door…”
“Yes, Good One,” says Mouse. “You were virtuous. But you only baked bread that one time, and you didn’t master the technique Francaise.”
“Mama always bakes the paratha!” protests Panda. “You know that.”
"Maybe when the next SARS rolls around," says Mouse, "you'll have your opportunity to shine."
“Yes, Good One,” says Mouse. “You were virtuous. But you only baked bread that one time, and you didn’t master the technique Francaise.”
“Mama always bakes the paratha!” protests Panda. “You know that.”
"Maybe when the next SARS rolls around," says Mouse, "you'll have your opportunity to shine."
by Hifalutin! March 06, 2022