14 definitions by Herbert Schweffe

He felt the blood rush to his Personal Pipe as she appeared at the doorway, with Tits to spare
by Herbert Schweffe November 30, 2021
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A hug so grim it makes you gag.
At Grandad’s wake, Uncle Mungo creeped over to me, he stank of semen and cigarettes... he was clearly pleased to see me, judging by the way he dribbled in my ear and rubbed his crotch on my thigh as he forced me into a horrific GUG...,
I hate gugging at a family get-together, it really puts me off Auntie Tabatha’s excellent scotch eggs.
by Herbert Schweffe June 2, 2021
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To mum's horror, Simon pulled off his trousers and paraded around the sitting room; proudly sticking his angry erection in the air like a big flesh chimney.
by Herbert Schweffe November 16, 2017
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Spunk held in high regard. (Normally semen from the ringleader or alpha male)
Justin sprayed his magnificent keeps all over Adrian's outstretched hands, as Clive and Gordon clambered desperately for their own greedy fist full .
by Herbert Schweffe February 9, 2018
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To ejaculate and hold the keeps in the foreskin, pinching the end to block seepage.
Barry thundered towards a massive orgasm and without missing a beat, Rick smartly grabbed the end of his foreskin, just as the tip of Barry's flesh chimney filled up like a protein balloon. Rick positioned his nostrils in line with Barry's shuddering trunk and released his grip...
by Herbert Schweffe November 16, 2017
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The ejaculate of a person of high ranking. Normally a member of the ruling classes or clergy.
Lord Hazelmere unleashed a fountain of hot spaff all over the marble floor. He hauled himself back into his trousers and left the room. From the shadows, his man-servant emerged with a Tupperware box and scooped up the holy juice for safe keeping.

‘’That’s some good keeps’’ he chuckled.
by Herbert Schweffe August 14, 2018
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Hiding ones sexual orientation in plain view. Preferably for a number of decades and under the red hot glare of the media spotlight.
As the interview reached its climax, the silver haired chat show host couldn't keep his eyes off the Iraq war veterans bulging biceps. "What must he look like with his top off" he wondered. The commercial break couldn't come quick enough. As he ran to the green room toilets, he discharged violently and without control, soaking the crouch and one entire trouser leg of his immaculately tailored Saville Row suit.

"Enough's enough!" he exclaimed, as his Producer towelled him dry

"it really is time to tell the kids."

"I totally agree" sighed his long suffering Producer,

"you really have been Schofielding for way too long."
by Herbert Schweffe February 7, 2020
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