Hammer of Jesus's definitions

Devil's kiss

The Devil's kiss is the heinous action of the tip of one's penis making contact with the cold porcelain of the inside of a public toilet.

I went to take a shit in the strip club bathroom, where I was unpleasantly surprised by the icy cold sensation of the Devil's kiss. Now it burns when I pee. Thanks, Satan.

by Hammer of Jesus August 10, 2017

heinous anus gayness

A situation involving heavy sexual deviance of the rectum amid a furious homosexual encounter.

Bob: I heard Frank had to get reconstructive surgery on his asshole after spending an evening with Don.

Gerald: Just one night? Damn, there must have been seriously heinous anus gayness afoot.

by Hammer of Jesus August 17, 2019

boner queso

A synonym for smegma. Sometimes used specifically to describe dick cheese belonging to a person of hispanic origin.

Armando: Duuuude have you seen how much boner queso Jose has? You could make a quesadilla with that shit.

Carlos: Nah mang, I'm not really into checking out other dudes dick cheese status.

by Hammer of Jesus April 5, 2017

penis rinser

A designated person whose job it is to rinse penis. The penis rinser may be assigned to a single, or multiple penises.

Geoff: Man, I really got it all over the place with that cumfart...we’re gonna need some tissues.

Norbert: No need, my personal penis rinser will take care of our penises.

Geoff: Wow! Thanks bro!

by Hammer of Jesus April 24, 2019

penis pot pie

A food item containing all of the same ingredients as a chicken pot pie, but chicken is replaced with penis.

Bill: My wife made the most delicious penis pot pie last night!

Ted: Wait...You ate penis for dinner?

Bill: It's totally normal! You should try some!

Ted: I think I'll pass. You and your wife should get some help.

by Hammer of Jesus October 6, 2013

national dick sucking day iii

The third occasion of National Dick Sucking Day, occurring on October 12th every year.

Ron: Man, I sure gobbled a whole shitload of knobs on National Dick Sucking Day III.

Abe: Same bro. I love celebrating all of the 365 non-consecutive and independent occurrences of National Dick Sucking Day every year!

by Hammer of Jesus April 14, 2019

scrotumnal equinox

The rare occurrence of a pair of testicles hanging perfectly equidistant to the ground, as opposed to their regular offset position.

Tony: Bro check out my balls! Total scrotumnal equinox!

Harold: Impressive symmetry! Perfectly balanced, as all things should be.

Tony: Damn straight, now open wide homie!

by Hammer of Jesus May 29, 2020