by Hammer of Jesus February 12, 2020
Davy Jones' Gravy is a dark, murky fecal/water combination that is the result of a particularly non-solid bowel movement, obscuring from vision all below it's putrid depths. Commonly found in public restrooms and port-o-potties.
I went to use the outhouse at the construction site, but it was so full that my balls dipped into Davy Jones' Gravy when I sat down.
by Hammer of Jesus February 14, 2017
A phallus of immense girth, length, and/or strength. Wielders as well as recipients must exercise extreme caution.
by Hammer of Jesus January 20, 2019
A person who is professionally employed by a private or federal entity, whose job is to eliminate hispanics in large and profitable quantities.
Javier: I just nailed a Beaner executioner job with the Fed! 55k a year plus dental!
Jon: Wait, but you’re Mexican right?
Javier: So? It’s nothing personal, and the benefits are dope! Can’t wait to pop me some frijoleros!
Jon: Wait, but you’re Mexican right?
Javier: So? It’s nothing personal, and the benefits are dope! Can’t wait to pop me some frijoleros!
by Hammer of Jesus May 03, 2019
A designated person whose job it is to rinse penis. The penis rinser may be assigned to a single, or multiple penises.
Geoff: Man, I really got it all over the place with that cumfart...we’re gonna need some tissues.
Norbert: No need, my personal penis rinser will take care of our penises.
Geoff: Wow! Thanks bro!
Norbert: No need, my personal penis rinser will take care of our penises.
Geoff: Wow! Thanks bro!
by Hammer of Jesus April 25, 2019
A dusty bumper is the action of falling ass-first into the dirt while ones pants are around their ankles. Common during rowdy outdoor sex and defecating in the woods. If the latter is the cause of the dusty bumper, one may walk away with a rusty bumper.
Earl: Last night, I was beatin' cheeks with Becky in them woods right behind my trailer, when i tripped over a stob and gave myself a dusty bumper!
Jim-Bob: Well hell yeah brother, than poon is totally worth it! Fuckin' ain't nuthin' if she ain't yer cousin! Yeeeehaw!!
Jim-Bob: Well hell yeah brother, than poon is totally worth it! Fuckin' ain't nuthin' if she ain't yer cousin! Yeeeehaw!!
by Hammer of Jesus August 04, 2017
The act of placing ones cellular device onto their genitalia, followed by a person sending repeated text messages, until the recipient of the textjob reaches sexual climax. Has been known to cause damage to cell phones when performed carelessly.
Jim: Man, Dave was really pissed after I banged his wife. He wouldn't stop texting me, so I threw my phone in my pocket and he gave me a textjob!
Todd: Nice dude! Now Dave and his wife have made you bust a nut!
Todd: Nice dude! Now Dave and his wife have made you bust a nut!
by Hammer of Jesus June 29, 2017