19 definitions by Hammer of Jesus
An acronym for Sudden Extreme Boner Syndrome. SEBS may occur due to a sudden high volume of stimulation, or occasionally no apparent reason at all. Unfortunate recipients of SEBS often experience pain, rupturing of clothing in the crotch, among other unpleasantries.
Stacy was going down on Chad, when Chad suddenly thought about Stacy’s mom and immediately contracted SEBS. His powerful erection broke the sound barrier and punched a hole in Stacy’s skull. Stacy’s mom heard the sonic boom from downstairs and immediately knew that SEBS had just lobotomized her daughter.
by Hammer of Jesus February 5, 2019
An award-winning combination between the classic themes of Big Black Cocks and Cock and Ball Torture, resulting in a streamlined term, BBCBT.
Gerald: I heard the boys were headed to Bill’s house tonight for a chill BBCBT sesh. You down?
Tom: When the fuck have I ever said no to some dank BBCBT with the boys?!
Tom: When the fuck have I ever said no to some dank BBCBT with the boys?!
by Hammer of Jesus July 14, 2019
A person who is professionally employed by a private or federal entity, whose job is to eliminate hispanics in large and profitable quantities.
Javier: I just nailed a Beaner executioner job with the Fed! 55k a year plus dental!
Jon: Wait, but you’re Mexican right?
Javier: So? It’s nothing personal, and the benefits are dope! Can’t wait to pop me some frijoleros!
Jon: Wait, but you’re Mexican right?
Javier: So? It’s nothing personal, and the benefits are dope! Can’t wait to pop me some frijoleros!
by Hammer of Jesus May 3, 2019
A designated person whose job it is to rinse penis. The penis rinser may be assigned to a single, or multiple penises.
Geoff: Man, I really got it all over the place with that cumfart...we’re gonna need some tissues.
Norbert: No need, my personal penis rinser will take care of our penises.
Geoff: Wow! Thanks bro!
Norbert: No need, my personal penis rinser will take care of our penises.
Geoff: Wow! Thanks bro!
by Hammer of Jesus April 25, 2019
A dusty bumper is the action of falling ass-first into the dirt while ones pants are around their ankles. Common during rowdy outdoor sex and defecating in the woods. If the latter is the cause of the dusty bumper, one may walk away with a rusty bumper.
Earl: Last night, I was beatin' cheeks with Becky in them woods right behind my trailer, when i tripped over a stob and gave myself a dusty bumper!
Jim-Bob: Well hell yeah brother, than poon is totally worth it! Fuckin' ain't nuthin' if she ain't yer cousin! Yeeeehaw!!
Jim-Bob: Well hell yeah brother, than poon is totally worth it! Fuckin' ain't nuthin' if she ain't yer cousin! Yeeeehaw!!
by Hammer of Jesus August 4, 2017
The simultaneous occurrence of flatulence and ejaculation. Particularly common among the elderly who have weak bowel and penile control.
Jenny: Mom! Grandpa is fumming all over the place again!
Karen: Well, grab some towels and start cleaning him up!
Jenny: Ewwwww! I don’t wanna clean up grandpa’s nasty fum! It stinks!
Karen: Shut the fuck up and clean your grandpa’s fum or you’re grounded!
Karen: Well, grab some towels and start cleaning him up!
Jenny: Ewwwww! I don’t wanna clean up grandpa’s nasty fum! It stinks!
Karen: Shut the fuck up and clean your grandpa’s fum or you’re grounded!
by Hammer of Jesus March 2, 2020
One who is so gay, that their butthole is nearly always filled with penises, dildos, cucumbers, etc. As a result of constant anal blockage, their physical anatomy has changed to allow feces to be expelled from the urethra as an alternate route. This change is what results in a shit pissing faggot.
Mary: You know, our neighbor Todd has been growing eggplants for years, and he’s never given us one!
Bill: That’s because Todd is a god damn shit pissing faggot. They all go up his ass.
Mary: I had no idea! How do you know, honey?
Bill: You didn’t notice the strange aftertaste when he invited us over for eggplant parmigiana??
Bill: That’s because Todd is a god damn shit pissing faggot. They all go up his ass.
Mary: I had no idea! How do you know, honey?
Bill: You didn’t notice the strange aftertaste when he invited us over for eggplant parmigiana??
by Hammer of Jesus June 3, 2018