Greyborzoi's definitions

peecoil

When you're peeing and a fart has developed. You try to hold it in, but when you finally are forced to let it go, the resulting release of pressure makes your pee stream get stronger, sending pee onto the underside of the toilet lid. Akin to the recoil of a rifle, hence the term "peecoil".

Andrea: How the hell do you manage to get pee on the underside of the toilet lid?

David: Those burritos I had last night gave me gas, and the peecoil from a huge fart is what's responsible for the peed-on toilet seat.

Andrea: Kinda like a rifle, huh? Well, it looks like a rifle you have there in your hand.

David: Yep...a Kentucky long rifle.

by Greyborzoi April 14, 2009

meximum

When someone works incredibly hard, but since they lack even the most basic skills, the product of their many hours of hard work is still crap. (I made up this word April 8, 2008)

Dingus Flangdoodle: "I saw you had a bunch of illegal immigrants reroofing your house. Man, I hear those guys work their asses off."

Cleetus McFeeley: "Yep, they worked their asses off, but they forgot to put tar-paper down, and the edges of the shingles aren't level".

Lurleen Polliwog: "Sounds like they put forth the MEXIMUM effort though...you have to hand it to them."

Also when a pro-immigration person says "Those immigrants, they work their asses off" and then I say "Yeah, but you could put a scalpel in my hand and I'd work my ass off in the operating room, but it'd still be a bloody mess and the patient would die". I would be putting forth the Meximum effort though.

by Greyborzoi April 8, 2008

iPodaphobia

The constant fear that someone will ask "What are you listening to?" at the very moment that you're listing to something that you like, and that is probably good...but would be considered very unhip, therefore rendering you pegged as a dork.

Billy, walking the school hallway jamming to "Rhinestone Cowboy" by Glen Campbell on his iPod, his iPodaphobia at an all-time high, hopes nobody asks what he's listening to.

Hotpants McHottie: "Hey Billy! What are you listening to?"
Billy: "Oh...er....uh....just a little Black Hole Sun by Soundgarden. Totally rockin!"

by Greyborzoi April 19, 2011

pettinslut

When your female dog will jump up in bed or on the couch with you, but will only snuggle if you pet her constantly. Otherwise, she'll jump down and go lie by herself.

"Awwwww...heyyyy Star (my dog), how's my schnuggiepoo? I gotta sleep for a little longer, so I can't pet you all day long" (puts arm around Star to snuggle and enjoy bonding). Star, not getting any petting, immediately jumps out of the bed and goes into the other room. Star is a pettinslut.

by Greyborzoi April 3, 2008

flippery

An adjective used to describe a house that has obviously been bought, renovated, and is now being flipped. The obvious sign of a flip house is the myriad architectural elements that have been tacked on to give it character. An example: A 1950's brick ranch house. It will have a non-matching addition added onto the back. It will be painted "buff" or other neutral color to appeal to yuppies. They will tack on some cedar-shake siding so it has a Cape Cod look, and then some copper flashing so it has some Loire Valley feel, then some river-stone stonework around the foundation for that New England country feel, a couple of bogus columns that supposedly support the front stoop for that Old South look, and for the finale, a redwood pergola placed on the front of the house for that Pacific Northwest feel. Very, very tacky...and soooo very obvious.

Muffy: Oh Skip, what a charming neighborhood. All this old-time charm. I just love this cute, authentic mill village. How artsy!

Skip: Oh Muffy, you're so right! These quaint old neighborhoods are so rare nowadays. I love it!

Muffy: Oh no, Skip. What is that God-awful monstrosity??? Did it fall to earth from some other planet? It's twice the size of these other houses and it's taking up the whole damn yard. Gross. It's ruining the neighborhood.

Skip: Yeah...it's totally flippery. Let's go buy a condo instead.

by Greyborzoi August 5, 2008

decraniate

To remove one's head from one's body.

I would love to get a bunch of child molesters, line them up, load up my Mosin-Nagant 7.62x54r, and decraniate all of them. Oh, the sweet pleasure!

by Greyborzoi May 5, 2009

downhill skiier pee-er

When you wake up with a raging hard-on caused by having a full bladder. You have to stand way back from the toilet and lean way forward so that your pee will go into the bowl, rather than going all over the wall. In this position, you will resemble one of those downhill skiiers doing a ski jump.

Sheila: What the heck are you doing? You look like you're doing a ski jump in the bathroom.

David: I had to pee, and if I don't stand like this, my hard-on will shoot pee all over the potted plant you put on top of the toilet. Don't I look like a downhill skiier pee-er?

Sheila: That thing sure is big.

David: Yep

by Greyborzoi January 20, 2009