Combination of velocity and oscillator. Used to describe a driver on the same road as you, usually a lonely highway. You're traveling at a constant rate of speed, but that other jerk will go a little faster than you, pass you, and you'll be rid of him...but then he decides he's going too fast and lets off on his gas...then his car slowly makes his way back to you, and you pass him...then he speeds up and passes you...and then slows down....and over and over again. Usually ends up with you flooring your accelerator and putting so much distance between you that he can never catch up. Usually an old person, or someone from up north whose mind doesn't work quite right.
Me, to wife: What the hell is that guy doing?
Wife: Who?
Me: That douche right there. I passed his slow ass two miles back and he's crept up on me...now he's passing me. Why does he keep changing speeds? He's a veloscillator!
Wife: Don't let it eat you up inside. Put some love in your heart.
Me: NOW what is he doing? He's slowed down and I have to look at his dumb face again!
Wife: Well, he's behind you now. You sure are handsome.
Me: Look at him! Now he's passing me! Is he in love with me? Is my profile that awesome??!?!
Wife: Well, actually it is. He might have a crush on you.
Me: LOOK AT THIS GUY! Now I've passed him....I'm so sick of this shit! VRRROOOOOMMM.....let's see this asshole catch me now!
Wife: Who?
Me: That douche right there. I passed his slow ass two miles back and he's crept up on me...now he's passing me. Why does he keep changing speeds? He's a veloscillator!
Wife: Don't let it eat you up inside. Put some love in your heart.
Me: NOW what is he doing? He's slowed down and I have to look at his dumb face again!
Wife: Well, he's behind you now. You sure are handsome.
Me: Look at him! Now he's passing me! Is he in love with me? Is my profile that awesome??!?!
Wife: Well, actually it is. He might have a crush on you.
Me: LOOK AT THIS GUY! Now I've passed him....I'm so sick of this shit! VRRROOOOOMMM.....let's see this asshole catch me now!
by Greyborzoi July 31, 2009
When you buy something that needs CONSTANT maintenance to keep it running, resulting in buyers remorse and ceaseless headaches.
"Mr. Dipshit just had a waterfall landscape thing (or a pool) installed in his yard". "Yep...he'll be cleaning algae out of THAT thing every week. Looks like he's bought a Jaguar"
by Greyborzoi April 03, 2008
Orgasms that only lead to trouble and misery. Based on the cartoon character "Schleprock" from The Flintstones. Schleprock was always under a thundercloud and bad things always happened to him.
My friend Ward got some chick pregnant 19 years ago and married her. They soon divorced and he had to support their kid for 18 years. He counted down the days until the kid turned 18 and he wouldn't have to pay child support anymore. The kid turned 18. Ward then went out, screwed some fat chick, and got HER pregnant. Now he has to pay child support for another 18 years. He has SCHLEPROCK SPERM.
by Greyborzoi April 03, 2008
When you're peeing and a fart has developed. You try to hold it in, but when you finally are forced to let it go, the resulting release of pressure makes your pee stream get stronger, sending pee onto the underside of the toilet lid. Akin to the recoil of a rifle, hence the term "peecoil".
Andrea: How the hell do you manage to get pee on the underside of the toilet lid?
David: Those burritos I had last night gave me gas, and the peecoil from a huge fart is what's responsible for the peed-on toilet seat.
Andrea: Kinda like a rifle, huh? Well, it looks like a rifle you have there in your hand.
David: Yep...a Kentucky long rifle.
David: Those burritos I had last night gave me gas, and the peecoil from a huge fart is what's responsible for the peed-on toilet seat.
Andrea: Kinda like a rifle, huh? Well, it looks like a rifle you have there in your hand.
David: Yep...a Kentucky long rifle.
by Greyborzoi April 14, 2009
When you wake up with a raging hard-on caused by having a full bladder. You have to stand way back from the toilet and lean way forward so that your pee will go into the bowl, rather than going all over the wall. In this position, you will resemble one of those downhill skiiers doing a ski jump.
Sheila: What the heck are you doing? You look like you're doing a ski jump in the bathroom.
David: I had to pee, and if I don't stand like this, my hard-on will shoot pee all over the potted plant you put on top of the toilet. Don't I look like a downhill skiier pee-er?
Sheila: That thing sure is big.
David: Yep
David: I had to pee, and if I don't stand like this, my hard-on will shoot pee all over the potted plant you put on top of the toilet. Don't I look like a downhill skiier pee-er?
Sheila: That thing sure is big.
David: Yep
by Greyborzoi October 10, 2008