horse

a device for turning money into shit and injuries.
Every Saturday afternoon, the hospital has at least 5 or 6 horse injury cases.

Oats + bran + hay + horse = very expensive shit.
by George McBob May 17, 2009
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kugel

A kugel is a special breed of rich middle-aged woman living in Johannesburg. Originally, the word kugel only applied to Jewish women (a kugel a Jewish potato-based dish), but now applies to any spoilt housewife.

Very distinctive characteristics of kugels are: A very nasal accent, calling everyone "doll", looking down on people who don't live in the Northern Suburbs, mistreating their housekeepers, spending half their lives talking on a cellphone, intense Botox treatment, wearing leopardskin patterned clothes and driving fancy 4x4s but refusing to take them offroad.

They tend to congregate at Sandton City, talk about shoes, nails and other kugels, cheat on their husbands and only tip 5%. A classic stereotypical kugel is Gwen Anderson from the South African comic strip Madam and Eve.
Kugel: Like, you know what I'm saying doll, she knows her husbands having an affair with....(25 minutes pass)... anyway, I have to like hang up doll, my nails are almost dry and I have to hurry up to get my hair done... ok doll, mwah bye.
by George McBob May 06, 2009
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nuke

To securely delete all data from a hard drive, usually by overwriting the entire disc with random numbers.

A nuker is a bootable disc that will securely erase data, file structures and partition tables from all hard drives it detects. The most used nuker is Darik's Boot and Nuke (commonly called DBAN).

Always be ready to nuke your hard drive in an emergency.
Quick it's the copyright gestapo! I've got 40 pirated ISOs on my pc! NUKE NUKE NUKE!
by George McBob May 04, 2009
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pavement special

Mongrel.

A dog with no discernible breed characteristics. Pavement specials make much better pets that pussy-ass pedigree dogs.
Steve: What breed is Bowser?
Dave: Pavement special.
by George McBob April 29, 2009
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Telkom

After the ANC, Telkom is South Africa's largest crime syndicate.

Their modus operandi is to force other companies into selling their products for them under duress, extort ungodly fees out of their customers, particularly on ADSL lines, with broadband prices 10 times or more than overseas, and up to 100 times more on leased lines.

They resort to thuggery and intimidation such as sending technicians to disconnect you for no reason, charging you for non-existent calls and unexplained tariffs and staffing their call centres with retarded unionised sociopaths.

Their main partners in crime are Eskom and Sasol.
It's a proven fact that if you fly 1st class to Hong Kong, stay in a 5 star hotel, buy a laptop, download 100GB onto it and fly back, it will be both QUICKER and CHEAPER than if you stayed in SA and downloaded it on a Telkom line.
by George McBob May 21, 2009
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Joburg

Johannesburg. Coolest city in the world.

It is the most dangerous city outside of a war zone. It has the friendliest people in the world. It can both take away and restore your faith in humanity on the same day.
The Northern Suburbs are so green that they're one of the largest artificial forests in the world (just drive north on the M1 past the St.Andrews street bridge, and all you see is trees to the horizon, with a few buildings sticking out at Sandton, Rosebank and Randburg).
In Joburg the traffic cops take cheques and the minibus taxis and nightclub bouncers are run by the mafia.
Beggars at the traffic lights earn more than doctors and roadside hawkers actually go onto the highway in rush hour. The streets change names 3 times a year and the baggage handlers at the airport are more likely to open your bag and replace your digital camera with a kilo of cocaine than not.
Every second street is closed for roadworks and the Gautrain (due to be completed in 2011, but will probably only be ready in 2014) will be Africa's first subway.
A major landmark is a huge soccer-ball shaped balloon tethered to the ground, with a restaurant on it, right next to a shopping centre that looks like a medieval Italian town.
Even your guard dogs, security guards and the police are not safe from the criminals, and Kyalami is the biggest equestrian suburb in the world.
Edenvale is Chinese, Bruma is Lebanese, Cyrildene is Jewish, Kempton Park is Russian, Hillbrow is Nigerian.
There are more goldmines than in any other city on Earth, and the central train station is the world's largest inland container terminal.
Melville, Rivonia, Fourways and Parkhurst are THE places go at night, but only if you don't mind waking up naked in a dumpster with a silly hat and a new tattoo.
All the cellphone towers are disguised as trees, but the tallest building in the city is a radio tower with a billboard and office on it.
It a first-world city in a third-world continent, and despite everything the corrupt, bigoted thieving lying brain-dead government can do to turn South Africa into a banana republic African shithole, Joburg just keeps growing and growing.
We live in Joburg, the only place to be!
by George McBob May 18, 2009
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goef

v. to smoke weed.

S. Afr. slang, pronounced "goof"


To be goefed is to be stoned out of your bracket.
Mike went outside to have a goef.

I'm going get lekker goefed tonignt, bru.
by George McBob April 28, 2009
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