heavytext

A long-winded text message filled with trauma dumping or a deep history of something on-topic. It is not split up into multiple messages.

Sharon just dropped a five-screen heavytext on me about her last relationship.

by Geoff AF June 08, 2025

attachments

A metaphor for "balls" as coined by David Hobbs of SPEED during a Formula 1 broadcast.

(Jenson Button has just made a daring pass)

Hobbs: "Wow. Boy has some large attachments!"

by Geoff AF May 08, 2010

Charlie Kornheiser

To place your hand in between a man's buttocks.

In a recent Iranian soccer game, a teammate did this to an opponent (who had his shorts still on) and both were punished.

On Red Eye with Greg Gutfeld on Fox News Channel (11-03-2011), a guest called this "the Charlie Kornheiser."

by Geoff AF November 03, 2011

vagina envy

This is what occurs when one female becomes jealous of another.

Loretta is the hot new piece around the office, attracting all the guys. Vivian has worked at said office for several years and now receives little attention. Vivian is frustrated at Loretta for this, thus she has vagina envy.

by Geoff AF May 15, 2009

waggytooter

Southern name for a penis.

"Wow, look at Jimmy's waggytooter! He was gifted!"

by Geoff AF May 03, 2021

Muffin Sweater

A term used to describe a woman whose vagina is covered with pubic hair (i.e. she is unshaven downstairs).

Ben: "Yo, didja see Vicki naked lately?"

Kelton: "No, why?"

Ben: "Bitch has a MUFFIN SWEATER goin' on!"

Kelton: "Time to shave that shit, eh?"

by Geoff AF April 30, 2010

fucksmith

A person who regularly fucks up.

Aubrey: "My husband spilled paint all over the goddamn carpet again."

Vicki: "No shit?"

Aubrey: "Yeah, he's been a real fucksmith lately."

by Geoff AF May 02, 2010