4 definitions by Funkdoctorforeskin
An elderly male who gives off a false impression by making much younger females believe that he is nice and soft like cotton when really he is just trying to lure them into bed with him. The word "Cottam" is slang for "cot them" and is used to describe somebody who takes advantage of barely legal girls by being a father-like figure to them and convincing them into using his baby-like penis as a pacifier.
The term "Cottam" can also be given to somebody who is high up in a workplace such as a bar manager, who employs young girls and offers them more suitable working hours in exchange of sexual favours.
Cottams tend to stand out among others as they will most likely always be suited and booted trying their hardest to look important and will always have a unusual smirk on their face which would be best described as a "pedo smile".
The term "Cottam" can also be given to somebody who is high up in a workplace such as a bar manager, who employs young girls and offers them more suitable working hours in exchange of sexual favours.
Cottams tend to stand out among others as they will most likely always be suited and booted trying their hardest to look important and will always have a unusual smirk on their face which would be best described as a "pedo smile".
Alexandra: I really don't know what to do! I can't pay my bills on a wage like this!
Leah: Maybe you could do what me and Dem did and let Dave "cottam" you.
Alexandra: Im not sure I could go ahead with that Leah! I really don't think I could live with myself if I slept with desperate Dave!
Leah: Maybe you could do what me and Dem did and let Dave "cottam" you.
Alexandra: Im not sure I could go ahead with that Leah! I really don't think I could live with myself if I slept with desperate Dave!
by Funkdoctorforeskin March 30, 2023
The act of getting lip fillers and using your lips to iron the wrinckles out of your much older managers penis in exchange of a promotion and a pay rise. A dirty Demnah (also known as a swanslut or a barristersbike) will do almost anything an elderly man asks of them in exchange of as little as a couple of ciggies and a free ride home. Her dingy-like lips could also help you survive if you was to be left stranded on a desert island, and her beef curtains may also be used as wings which will flap around rapidly in the wind enabling you to reach great hights.
Dem: Wow! My lips feel so swollen after ironing all the wrickles out of Daves dick!
Egle: You mean to tell me you helped that pervert out for nothing!?!
Dem: Of course not darling, he said I will be getting a payrise and a promotion in the next few months.
Egle: You are such a dirty Demnah!
Egle: You mean to tell me you helped that pervert out for nothing!?!
Dem: Of course not darling, he said I will be getting a payrise and a promotion in the next few months.
Egle: You are such a dirty Demnah!
by Funkdoctorforeskin March 31, 2023
A male or transtesticle being who gets a kick out of inserting different types of objects in through his pee hole before ejaculating on to them. It is believed that the first person to become a registered "japsycho" was a homosexual butler from Norwich who in the late 1800 was found inserting his masters toothbrush deep in his urethra whilst staring at a damp patch on the ceiling and uncontrollably moaning in an aggressive manner. After the incident the butler was arrested, but he wasn't charged after he claimed he couldn't look at certain objects without getting a stiffy and feeling the need to stick them up himself. After people got a whiff of the butlers story and his masters youngest son got a whiff of that toothbrush, more a more japsycho's started to pop up out of nowhere, popping all sorts of different objects out from their penises. It is said that after realising how difficult it is to insert an object as large as an amputee's peg leg in though a male urethra, it is possible that they may make it an olympic sport, but the chances of that are lower than a midgets waistline.
Keith: I heared that Leroy got kicked out of the rave by security for sticking a glowstick down his pee hole.
Derrick: I know I heared! Poor Leroy... He can't help being a japsycho!
Keith: I know I do feel for him... I wonder what happened with that glowstick though?
Derrick: I know I heared! Poor Leroy... He can't help being a japsycho!
Keith: I know I do feel for him... I wonder what happened with that glowstick though?
by Funkdoctorforeskin March 31, 2023
When an ugly female with the face of a bulldog and only one working lung dresses up in all black bondage gear including a big black strap on which she uses to "bond" with a highly intoxicated black dj.
Although she may enjoy the procedure, she will most lightly maintain her regular resting bitch face throughout it and will hope to be rewarded with a treat afterwards for being a good doggy.
Although she may enjoy the procedure, she will most lightly maintain her regular resting bitch face throughout it and will hope to be rewarded with a treat afterwards for being a good doggy.
Terry: God my ass is sore bruv! I think Wendy took advantage of me last night again!
Jak: You need to stop letting her come round to yours at the end of the night! Why do you do it!
Terry: I don't know bruv, when Im drunk I just love our Dirty Bond.
Jak: You need to stop letting her come round to yours at the end of the night! Why do you do it!
Terry: I don't know bruv, when Im drunk I just love our Dirty Bond.
by Funkdoctorforeskin April 7, 2023