7 definitions by Freddy Ferno
A winter season holiday that begins around the end of November, and culminates on December 25. The total level of stress accumulates exponentially the closer one gets to the 25th, and continues to linger above a background level at least until the end of January. As the financial, bad weather, health, and family stress cycles peak around the 25th of December, people celebrate by drinking copious amounts of alcohol and engaging in gluttonous behavior. Stressmas is also noted for its especially annoying music that plays on every radio stationan shopping center PA system, further exacerbating the stressful situation by creating a trigger that turns one violent and belligerent. Marked by long shopping lines and traffic for no reason, one cannot avoid celebrating Stressmas. Those with exes, inlaws, and children tend to celebrate Stressmas more faithfully than single people.
Merry Stressmas!
by Freddy Ferno December 16, 2010
A general suffix that can be added to various place names in order to indicate the people in that place typically have a hillbilly, or Kentucky-like, lifestyle. It doesn't always work, and sometimes takes creativity, but when it does, it can be hillarious.
Kansas Ci-tucky, Milwauke-tucky, Pennsyl-tucky, Den-tucky.
by Freddy Ferno June 22, 2009
Medical term for expulsion of phlegm, tobacco juice, and excess saliva (spit). At one time, practiced mostly by those who chewed tobacco or those who were diseased. Now practiced by the majority of men before they use a urinal, when getting out of their car, or when leaving a building, for unknown reasons.
by Freddy Ferno November 28, 2010
An un-creative nickname given to Wisconsin Democrats who chose to flee the state in order to postpone a vote on a controversial bill. The name "flee-bagger" is a failed attempt at a nickname by Tea Party supporters offended by the 'Tea Bagger' nickname attached to their group.
The nickname fails because there is a relatively well known activity called "tea bagging", but no such activity of "flee bagging". Thus, if a "tea bagger" is one who engages in tea bagging, that means a "flee bagger" must be someone who engages in "flee bagging", an activity that makes no sense and does not exist.
It's like that episode of Seinfeld where George tries to insult someone by using the term "jerk store". The insult failed because there is no such thing as a "jerk store".
The nickname fails because there is a relatively well known activity called "tea bagging", but no such activity of "flee bagging". Thus, if a "tea bagger" is one who engages in tea bagging, that means a "flee bagger" must be someone who engages in "flee bagging", an activity that makes no sense and does not exist.
It's like that episode of Seinfeld where George tries to insult someone by using the term "jerk store". The insult failed because there is no such thing as a "jerk store".
Teabagger: "I can't wait to vote out those flee-baggers."
Sane person: "Huh? I understand the 'flee' part, but 'flee-bagger' makes no sense."
Sane person: "Huh? I understand the 'flee' part, but 'flee-bagger' makes no sense."
by Freddy Ferno March 26, 2011
An outhouse that has two seats (holes), allowing two people to move their bowels at the same time. Common in the days before indoor plumbing when toilet paper was either corn cobs or pages from the Sears catalog.
Sorry Jethro, I can't help you shoe your horse this weekend. The old lady wants me to clean out the two-holer.
by Freddy Ferno September 2, 2009
by Freddy Ferno October 5, 2007
Code for "shitcanned". Used by managers and employees during general water cooler discussion as a means of avoiding sounding alarm about an approaching layoff. While the word "shitcanned" has been around for years, the code "SC" has only become commonplace during the economic downturn of 2008 and 2009.
Two managers are standing in the break room eating doughnuts and drinking coffee.
Manager 1: What is Mary doing over there? I never see her do any actual work.
Manager 2: Don't worry, I hear she is SC next week.
Manager 1: What is Mary doing over there? I never see her do any actual work.
Manager 2: Don't worry, I hear she is SC next week.
by Freddy Ferno October 6, 2009