Frank Klaune's definitions

Cleveland Rewind

An extremely sick, disgusting joke which is occasionally done in frat houses, public toilets or the home of your enemy. The "Cleveland Rewind" consists of un-hinging a toilet paper roll from it's holder, pull out a considerable portion of the paper, and very carefully wipe one's ass on the portion in the middle, then "rewinding " the roll back, and replacing it into the dispenser. Thus, a subsequent patron gets shit on their fingers. The "Cleveland Rewind" supposedly gets its name from the equally disgusting "Cleveland Steamer" term.

Man, some asshole did a Cleveland Rewind on me and I got a handful when I was trying to wipe!

by Frank Klaune November 20, 2004

walking waste of sperm

The ultimate insult. Reserved for only the most hateful, stupid, obnoxious or contemptible people known.

That islamic suicide bomber killed several innocent people. What a walking waste of sperm he was.

by Frank Klaune January 26, 2005

über moron

One of many possible fun uses of the über prefix. An über moron represents the pinnacle of pea-brain, the apex of asshole and the depth of dipshit. An über moron embodies the highest (or is that the lowest) level of stupid, home-grown, industrial strentgh, heavy duty idiocy.

Damn, we just convinced Frank that he grew up on a mayonnaise farm. Now he's looking it up online. Man, he's such an über moron!

by Frank Klaune March 21, 2005

Polish fly swatter

The spash screen placed in the bottom of a urinal to stop spattering pissors from getting ocean spray on their trousers. The Polish fly swatter often is embedded with a urinal cake or scented sustance to enable you to spend many hours of enchanting sniffing in such a delightful environment.

Damn, what the hell? Some sick bastard stuck a Polish fly swatter in my gym bag last night!

by Frank Klaune February 20, 2005

deliver street pizza

Another stupid term designating vomit, emesis, technicolor yawn, or barfing.

Damn, Frank got so fucked up the other night he had to deliver street pizza on his girlfriend's bird bath. Now the birds don't come by anymore. Frank is such an imbecile!

by Frank Klaune June 24, 2006

butt breath

Common insult with obvious implications. The insult is meant not only to indicate someone who who is stupid and / or offensive, but also one who would do an act which would render their breath like someone else's butt.

Hey, butt breath! Move your car.

by Frank Klaune January 23, 2005

Tomism

General term pertaining to any of a wide number of comical vulgarities, invented insults and mismangulated obscenities and curses made famous by a certain Tom K. (last name omitted)

"Oh, you MOTHER!"
"You FUCKNOB!"
(insert name) "...has an I.Q. of a peanut butter sandwich"
"sons-of-bastages"
"Cancel Christmas forever"
"butt buddy bubba with the burlap balls"
"rump ridin' ridge runner"

by Frank Klaune November 6, 2003