Definitions by Frank Klaune

finger wave 

Term describing the anal prostate check portion of the annual physical examination done on older men. The "finger wave" is done by the gloved hand of the examining physician. One only hopes that while the "finger wave" is being done you don't feel both of the doctor's hands on your shoulders at the same time or you're in trouble.

Old man Klaune went to the doctor and got a finger wave.

finger wave by Frank Klaune March 6, 2004

spray paint 

The forceful, sometimes violent expulsion of liquid shit into the toilet at high velocity. The "spray paint" term relates to the viewing of the underside of the toilet seat and the general condition of the toilet bowl which is usually well sprayed with dumpage.

"Man, I had such a gut cramp, I ran to the bathroom and let go with spray paint. Damn, it's a good thing we're at Frank's house. I wouldn't want to clean that up at my house."

spray paint by Frank Klaune March 6, 2004

ahs-wee-pay 

Less commonly as of late, it is the phonetic, literal pronounciation of "asswipe" (said usually with a fake foreign accent). The term is used as a direct replacement for "asswipe" just with the foreign-sounding pronounciation for any of a number of stupid reasons.

"Hey ahs-wee-payyyy... wot's up mon?"

ahs-wee-pay by Frank Klaune March 6, 2004

take a shit 

Aside from the relatively obvious use of the phrase (to designate defecation), "take a shit" as a phrase can apply to mechanical devices. An apparatus which wears out or breaks down at a very inconvenient time can be said to "take a shit".

"I told Frank to fix those worn lifters on his car engine but he didn't listen to me. Then when he went on vacation he was crossing the rockies when it took a shit on him. It ruined his vacation."

take a shit by Frank Klaune March 6, 2004

penito 

The smallest designation of penis size / length. Similar to the "schlort", the penito represents a laughably short size of the male anatomy.

"When she got his pants off, she laughed out loud at his small penito."

penito by Frank Klaune March 5, 2004

geemer 

A cross between "Geek" and "Gomer" (as in "Gomer Pyle", the bumbling army private from the television series of the same name). The term "geemer" was popularized by A.J. "Vakodak" and was also used as a term for the once famous international tennis star, Guiliermo ("Geemer") Vilas.

"Look at that guy with the pocket protector and the highwater pants. God, what a geemer!"

geemer by Frank Klaune March 5, 2004

butt rust 

The off-brown discoloration inside the undershorts. Butt rust, also known as "skid mark" is usually the result of high pressure farting and / or lack of sufficient wiping of the anus.

"Damn, Frank sure has butt rust on his undies here."

butt rust by Frank Klaune March 5, 2004