Fearman's definitions

duttyology

Branch of the sciences with which everyone is of course familiar and which already has coffee-table books devoted to it, but which has yet to be satisfactorily defined. It is therefore incredibly easy to award yourself a doctorate in duttyology. In a postmodern world in particular, duttyologists can multiply like rabbits.

As soon as I had even heard of the word, I had instantly awarded myself an advanced doctorate with honours in duttyology.

by Fearman November 19, 2007

denturocracy

Political system in which the person with the straightest whitest smile gets to run the country.

America is the world's premier denturocracy.

by Fearman October 30, 2007

quoking

Vaginal smoking, as demonstrated on at least one Internet video sequence with that gorgeous woman who says "and you don't cough, and it doesn't get your teeth yellow!" If you possess a vagina you stick the cool end of the lit cigar or cigarette in and use rhythmic contractions of the vaginal or perineal muscles to suck in and expel air. Try not to burn your pubes. To anyone halfway intelligent, whatever sex appeal there may be in the practice is entirely a matter of the organ used. Not recommended if you have a non-smoking partner who fancies going down on you. Probably not much healthier than the more familiar method. A contraction of "quim" and "smoking". Verb, to quoke.

Quoking looks interesting if you have a high gross-out threshold, no interest in the quoker's health, and it still has novelty value. Otherwise, forget about it.

by Fearman February 1, 2008

christian

Either Slater or Bale are cool by me.

Christian Bale and Christian Slater. Two waaaaay cool actors.

by Fearman September 26, 2007

iimssm

Enjoyably adolescent and slightly narcissistic abbreviation for "if I may say so myself".

I'm Jockster and I'm the coolest pimp daddy on the planet, iimssm.

by Fearman April 1, 2008

batman

Invented by Bob Kane in 1940. Coolest superhero in American comic book history (the Incredible Hulk probably comes in a discreet second). Batman's real-life alter ego is billionaire philanthropist Bruce Wayne. When summoned to crime-ridden Gotham City by the Batsignal (a batlike silhouette within a searchlight beam, shining onto those perpetually dense clouds) he proceeds to de-scum the place like nobody else. Often has at least one delightfully camp side-kick, but generally works best alone.

Unforgettable scene from Tim Burton's 1988 movie ..,

(BATMAN dangles HOOD over side of 23-storey building)

Batman:
I'm not going to harm you. I want you to do something. I want you to tell all your friends who I am.

Hood (howling in fear):
WHO ARE YOU?!?

(Batman pulls the Hood in about an inch from his masked face.)

Batman:
I'm Batman.

(He throws the Hood down on the flat roof behind them. Long before the criminal has regained a fraction of his composure, Batman has disappeared into the shadows.)

by Fearman October 23, 2007

jenga

Game played using wooden blocks three times as long as they are wide. The blocks are stacked in a square tower with three side by side in each floor, aligned at right angles to those above and below. The players take it in turns to remove one block per turn from the tower. The loser is the one who makes the tower topple.

I love playing jenga. Especially the satisfying crash when it all comes down.

by Fearman April 11, 2008