Fearman's definitions

affluent

1. Wealthy.

2. Drunk, as in under the affluence of inkahol. (Meaning the influence of alcohol, as might be mispronounced when inebriated.) Also associated with the other meaning because either condition (ought to) make your troubles float away.

Give him five shots of whiskey and he's affluent.

by Fearman August 7, 2007

Amish mistake

May be abbreiviated as "Amish". Something incredibly stupid that occurs to spoil an otherwise perfect situation. After an Amish custom of leaving deliberate skips in the pattern of quilts, lest a perfect design make the Almighty jealous.

When we drove to Scotland for the weekend, my forgetting to fill the tank before going about the Highlands was the Amish mistake of the outing.

by Fearman August 7, 2007

play the banjo with

To play the banjo with someone; to try to make friends with someone who isn't going to be friends or who keeps dodgy company, typically rough, bigoted or violent. From the banjo duet in John Boorman's "Deliverance".

Although they had been making funny noises at me across the square, I just had to play the banjo with those guys. I regretted it within the week.

by Fearman August 7, 2007

Bard Brain

An aficionado of the works of William Shakespeare of Stratford-on-Avon, England, 1564-1616. Self-explanatory, not meant to denigrate.

Bard brains everywhere will appreciate the local production of Hamlet, from December 16th at the Town Hall.

by Fearman August 7, 2007

boarding school rations

Tiny helpings of food, or revolting quality food. Self-explanatory.

The plaice was three inches long and had a maggot in it. Why are we reduced to these boarding school rations?

by Fearman August 7, 2007

Bounderby

Someone who cynically grandstands about their unpleasant childhood, by way of fishing for pity or giving an apologia for their heartless or anti-social behaviour. Very trendy in a postmodernist climate. From the character in Dickens' "Hard Times".

Look at that kid on the TV saying that he wouldn't have killed the kid on a joyride if his own mummy had loved him a bit more. What a perfect little Bounderby.

by Fearman August 7, 2007

come in six-packs

A class of people who come in six-packs are cheap, contemptible, anti-social or worthless.

Look at those hooligans hanging around the town square looking for trouble. They come in six-packs.

by Fearman August 7, 2007