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Fearman's definitions

boghole

1. The anus.

2. A toilet.

3. A hole in the surface of a bog. If you fall in a boghole you are liable to slide down into darkness and gunge and never come out again until someone cuts fuel in another fifty thousand years and ends up contacting an archaeologist.

4. In Ireland and perhaps elsewhere on the fringes of Europe or Canada, one of the most Godawful places you are ever likely to find yourself in. A tiny and usually misleading hint of civilisation in the middle of an endless brown or green but really grey landscape. Was probably so much nicer and more atmospheric before they decided to build houses. Typically used as a rest stop on a long bus journey for that very reason; people are less likely to get lost looking at the sights (because there are none) and forget they've got to catch the bus. If you grow up in a boghole, either you have an IQ of 2 or you have only one burning ambition in life from the cradle, and that is to get as far away from the boghole as you can, as soon as possible.
She's gone to use the boghole again.

Oh, no, don't tell me little Sammy's gone for a walk and slipped and fallen down the boghole!

I grew up in Ballygronan. For me, the symbol of the promise held by the rest of the world was a tree growing on a nearby hilltop. Man, what a boghole.
by Fearman March 4, 2008
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Timothy Treadwell

Born Timothy Dexter. Classic narcissist. Reformed alcoholic and drug addict, might not have entirely straightened out. Claimed, without verification, to have been the theoretical second choice for the role of Woody Harrelson's character, "Woody" Boyd, in Cheers. Became a wacky pseudo-environmentalist wingnutscrewballsup who travelled to Alaska from round about 1990 to his death in 2003 to try to get ... close to ... bears. Documented his exploits on videocam, some of said footage making the guts of Werner Hertzog's biopic "Grizzly Man". Ended up doing a Michael Jackson impression over steaming bear shit. Came to believe he was the bears' last good hope, and started ranting on-camera against the wildlife service, humanity in general, et cetera.

In the autumn of 2003 he tried heading back south to be with his family or other friends; at the airport he got into a towering rage with somebody and failed to board the plane, instead returning to the Alaskan lake shore where he had spent the summer. Unfortunately and despite his assumed name, in so doing he didn't tread very well at all. In the meantime his favourite bear clan had all gone into hibernation and another group had moved in to time-share the place, where a few weeks later Treadwell was reminded of the six basic relationships an animal species may have with other animals in the wild: you ignore it, it picks off your parasites, you pick off its parasites, you fuck it, you eat it, it eats you. This list included the last option, and unfortunately he had taken his latest girlfriend along for the ride as well. After the bears had dined on long pig to their hearts' content the park rangers arrived to collect the leftovers and shoot the bears.

Living proof (better still, dead proof) that you shouldn't believe everything you see on Walt Disney movies.
I wanted to be an eco-warrior when I was younger, but then I heard about Timothy Treadwell and wizened up.
by Fearman April 1, 2008
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Timothy Dalton

Welsh actor. Brought a civil, icy, slightly mental persona to the figure of James Bond 007 that just rocks, no matter what the begrudgers say. Got one okay film and one bum one, which sank his Bond career long before time. Buried the execrable Roger Moore and (as a patriotic Paddy it pains me to say this, but ...) waaaaay better than Pierce Brosnan's poster-boy Bond. Only bettered (maybe) by Daniel Craig in 2006's Casino Royale.
Timothy Dalton. Gave the 007 role everything.
by Fearman August 4, 2007
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Tarot cards

Intriguing form of folk art consisting typically of a deck of cards with 22 major trumps and four suits of minor trumps with fourteen cards each, although there are variations on this basic plan. Typically or ideally each card has an illustration of some kind. The variety of decks is considerable, although some are considerably more original in their inspiration (and/or better in their artistry) than others. Poetically resonant and often of use in artistic inspiration. Thought to have originated at least as far back as the late Middle Ages. Sadly done to death by New Agers who insist they are useful for divination, and Christian fundamentalists who put them close to the top of a veeerrry looonnngg list of stuff that will lead you straight to Hell, but still quite interesting.
Wanna see my collection of Tarot cards? I've got about thirty decks.
by Fearman October 1, 2007
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Mr. Natural

Long-bearded earthy worldly wise simple genius invented by cartoonist R. Crumb. The only man in history (according to one cartoon) to get a new lease on life when, once he had died, God asked him what he thought of Paradise and his scrupulously honest aesthetic appraisal of the whole place pissed off the Big Man big time. Best known for such catch phrases as "Keep Truckin'".
Mr. Natural, the coolest beardy dude in history, even makes sandals look good.
by Fearman April 11, 2008
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asperger's

Pseudoscientific diagnosis most often made of people by their narcissistic parents, in conjunction with airheaded social workers, so that the parents don't have to accept personal responsibility for ten to twenty years of filling the kid's head full of dysfunctional bullshit. Also useful, in our age of postmodernist relativism where science is seen as at once useful and deeply suspect, for purposes of claiming financial aid. The kids could probably do with the aid, but society doesn't need the quackery. Those who make a mint out of selling the notion of this condition often rope in a few undeniable autistic savants to their argument so as to confer a thin veneer of respectability on the whole enterprise.

Incidentally, the very use of the word syndrome is pseudoscientific when used in the field of psychiatry. In medicine or any real science, a syndrome is defined as a wide range of symptoms, not all of which may be present in any one patient, which can be proven to link back to a common cause. To take two examples: Down's Syndrome results from a doubling of the sex-linked X chromosome in a person's genotype. It manifests in a range of symptoms including a flattened facial structure, a slant to the eyes, above average muscular development and below average intelligence, not all of which will necessarily manifest in any one person with the syndrome. Likewise, Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome, or AIDS, manifests in any of a large number of otherwise usually rare opportunistic infections once the body's immune system has been disabled by the Human Immunodeficiency Virus (HIV). Again, not all of these show up in any one case; again, there is a common underlying cause.

After decades of research, psychiatrists remain divided on how the human mind works. There are various conflicting schools of thought (Freudians, Jungians, Adlerians, gestalt therapists, a plethora of others); beyond some empirical research on brain chemistry, neural functioning and other areas related to hard science, the teaching on the workings of the mind get rather hazy rather fast. In other words, we don't really know for certain how the mind works in the sort of detail that would enable us to talk about "common origins" for the extremely wide range of symptoms allegedly linked to this so-called syndrome. The word "syndrome" is simply used in this case because the naive and misguided think it sounds impressively scientific. The very fact that the parameters of Asperger's are so broad and vague pretty much tells you what this whole racket is really about; selling people a bill of goods. However, in the majority of cases, given the plasticity of the human mind in early development and the lack of any explanation of how this "syndrome" is supposed to arise, the above definition is, I would offer, likely to be at least as good as any.
Johnny and Mary Stewart could never get their asses out of bed in the morning and Mary filled little Billy's head with nonsense about how the world is full of people out to get him. When he was bullied in school she told him to ignore it. Now she's gadding about telling everyone he has Asperger's Syndrome. Surprise surprise.
by Fearman July 29, 2007
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Midnight Express

1. Movie directed by Alan Parker in 1978, loosely speaking about the real-life experiences of young American hashish smuggler Billy Hayes in a Turkish prison. Starring Brad Davis and John Hurt. Script by Oliver Stone.

2. To escape from prison or some other aversive situation. Reference taken from Parker's movie.
Midnight Express had six nominations for Academy Awards and won two of them.

I had to catch the midnight express out of boarding school.
by Fearman May 24, 2008
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