Fearman's definitions

water nibbler

A total health freak. Someone who is cautious about consuming even distilled water.

Don't listen to those water nibblers worrying about calories, just eat sensibly and get some exercise.

by Fearman August 11, 2007

his therapy was going nowhere

Expression used of someone who has met a sad end in fact or fiction. After a line from Hannibal Lecter in Thomas Harris's "The Silence of the Lambs", on the subject of Benjamin Raspail. Lecter had Raspail over for dinner and later commented, "Best thing for him, really. His therapy was going nowhere."

He jumped off a cliff and blew himself up with a bellyful of dynamite halfway down. Best thing for him, really. His therapy was going nowhere.

by Fearman August 4, 2007

mime

Someone who, once arrested, has the right to remain silent.

As a mime artist, you have rights.

by Fearman December 16, 2007

Dali nap

Extremely brief nap as devised by Catalan Surrealist artist Salvador Dali. He would slide off to sleep in a chair with his arm over the side, holding a spoon over a plate on the floor. The instant he fell asleep, his hand would loosen up and the spoon would fall out and hit the plate with a clatter that woke him up again. He claimed that the brief rest thus afforded him worked wonders.

The boss is coming in the door in twenty seconds. I'd better take a Dali nap.

by Fearman December 23, 2007

bump

The expanding belly of a pregnant woman. Some women think it looks like the side of a bus, we do collectively need to watch that population curve, and some psychotic bible-jerkers who call themselves pro-life give the whole thing a tang of sulphur for everyone else, but despite it all, that bump remains one of the most drop-dead gorgeous sexy things in the world.

No, I'm not a creep. Can I PLLLEEEEEASE kiss your bump?

by Fearman December 26, 2007

etiquette freak

Someone so obsessed with the minutiae of lower-middle-class good manners that they utterly miss the point of the exercise. The name of the game for these people is not showing consideration for others at all, but merely showing off their own upward mobility in the most vulgar way possible. There are few people more annoying than etiquette freaks, who themselves typically flout the most elementary standards of civilised behaviour every chance they get. A typical etiquette freak would be the character of Hyacinth Bouquet in "Keeping Up Appearances".

There is of course an entire industry of books and other sources supplying the requirements of etiquette freaks, often including such nuggets of folk wisdom as the following, in a book by Angela Lansbury (presumably not the actress): "A lady only has her name in the paper on three occasions in her life: when she is born, when she marries and when she dies."

An etiquette freak will always endeavour to have as many different varieties of knives, forks and spoons for their guests as possible at a dinner party. Preferably all laid out at the same time.

by Fearman August 7, 2007

come in six-packs

A class of people who come in six-packs are cheap, contemptible, anti-social or worthless.

Look at those hooligans hanging around the town square looking for trouble. They come in six-packs.

by Fearman August 7, 2007