Fearman's definitions

Elliott Carver

Played by Jonathan Pryce in Tomorrow Never Dies (1997). Newspaper magnate who likes to make his own stories. Had his wife murdered for colluding with 007 (and thoughtfully put her in his news bulletin). Prepared to risk WW3 in order to secure his market in China. Made the film. The only truly frightening Bond villain in the franchise's history.

Elliott Carver (on Bond's mobile in Hamburg): You have two things belonging to me, Mr. Bond. Now I've found one of them, I've a fair idea where the other one is.

(He is referring to his satellite decoder and his wife. Bond floors the accelerator back to the hotel ...,)

by Fearman August 4, 2007

Frankenphobia

Morbid irrational fear of biotechnology and/or its products. Endlessly incited by born-again hippie fundamentalists, who would prefer us all to live like Freddie Flintstone. From Mary Shelley's Frankenstein (an endlessly quoted popular reference) and the suffix -phobia.

Morning Flower is spreading her Frankenphobia around again, telling everyone genetically modified tomatoes are bad for their children.

When are these very very trendy people going to accept that Frankenphobia is soooooo yesterday?

by Fearman January 6, 2008

Silver Shamrock

Fictitious mask company in the third instalment in the Hallowe'en franchise, "Season of the Witch" (the one without Mr. Myers). The masks are the colours of the Irish national flag (orange Jack-O-Lantern, white skull, green witch), and are made by a company in a weird all-Oirish town on the coast of California. On activation by a signal on the big night, the masks transform their (numerous) wearers' heads into so many divers creepy-crawlies. The Silver Shamrock company wins the booby prize for the most irritating television jingle ever inflicted on the world in fact or fiction; a countdown to the tune of "London Bridge is Falling Down", starting "(x) days to Hallowe'en, Hallowe'en, Hallowe'en". I had it in my head for WEEKS. The head of the company is played by an actor from Wexford, Ireland, and incidentally as far as I can tell is the only figure in the history of American horror films to pronounce Samhain correctly.

Four days left to Hallowe'en,
Hallowe'en, Hallowe'en,
Four more days to Hallowe'en,
Silver Shamrock!

by Fearman February 10, 2008

toolshed

Location used to consummate deals with Satan, according to lyrics some Christian wingnut alleged were back-masked in Led Zeppelin's classic song "Stairway to Heaven".

" ... down there in the toolshed where he used to make us so sad O my sweet Satan ...,"

by Fearman May 24, 2008

Pazuzu

Ancient middle eastern divinity who becomes a demon in the Exorcist franchise. Best pronounced in a low-pitched, gravelly, strangled sort of voice followed by at least three short laughs in the same tone.

I am PAZUZU, HA-HA-HA. I am a mean son of a bitch of a devil, but then I screw it all up by protecting expectant mothers.

by Fearman March 11, 2008

carbon mineshaft

A carbon mineshaft is a particularly deep carbon footprint, made by an individual, company or other entity that is spewing greenhouse gases into the atmosphere at a truly extravagant rate.

The luxury beach resort demanded that exotic fruits and other foods be flown in, in whatever quantities could be managed, from right around the world, had a giant jacuzzi that gobbled oil at a rate of knots, regularly rented two or three luxury yachts with gas-guzzling engines, and also ran a luxury helicopter link to the mainland that was dependent on a wide range of other special deliveries. It was working up quite a carbon mineshaft.

by Fearman March 12, 2008

killing kittens

Very powerful young felines, under your control.

If you masturbate, a kitten kills God. The kitten is one of the killing kittens.

by Fearman November 28, 2007