330 definitions by Fearman

Verb describing penile amputation, especially when carried out by an amateur and soon followed by ejection of said organ out the window of a moving car. After the operation carried out by Lorena Bobbitt on her husband John Wayne Bobbitt.
You think you're a great lover boy, don't you? Well, if you don't swear blind you'll leave my wife alone, I'll bobbitt you!
by Fearman August 12, 2007
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Morbid or irrational fear of receiving a gift that is more trouble than it is worth.
She doesn't even send Christmas cards any more. She's that terrified of what she might get back. Bad touch of albuproboscideaphobia.
by Fearman March 6, 2008
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Intriguing form of folk art consisting typically of a deck of cards with 22 major trumps and four suits of minor trumps with fourteen cards each, although there are variations on this basic plan. Typically or ideally each card has an illustration of some kind. The variety of decks is considerable, although some are considerably more original in their inspiration (and/or better in their artistry) than others. Poetically resonant and often of use in artistic inspiration. Thought to have originated at least as far back as the late Middle Ages. Sadly done to death by New Agers who insist they are useful for divination, and Christian fundamentalists who put them close to the top of a veeerrry looonnngg list of stuff that will lead you straight to Hell, but still quite interesting.
Wanna see my collection of Tarot cards? I've got about thirty decks.
by Fearman September 18, 2007
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1) When beauty, complexity, philosophy, genius and sensuality all have a gang bang together, this misbegotten but wondrous creation ensues.

2) What Jack Nicholson makes until someone dies.

3) Something that turns up in eXistenZ, when Willem Dafoe mentions a video games called ArtGod, as in "ThouArtGod".
Art. Who could ask for anything more?
by Fearman August 25, 2007
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The gene responsible for making some people believe that anything from homosexuality to kleptomania can be tied to a single gene.
He says he's found a gay gene, an anti-social gene, a literary gene and a deep-sea exploration-promoting gene. I guess his psychic-recursive gene is working overtime.
by Fearman December 15, 2007
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I'm in love (yippee!!!) and I hate psychiatrists (fucking nut jobs, all of them, ALL OF THEM), who are out to control the world (trembles for a few moments) and drop hydrogen bombs on everybody (BIG ones, yeahhh). Hey, have you seen my girlfriend? (BOINNNGGG!!) I'm wild! You're cool, too! (Pulls hair out, laughs.) No, seriously? Oh. (Grows sullen.) Oh. (Grows REALLY sullen.) Oh. Why would you want to do that to me? No, seriously, why would you want to do that to me? Why? Why? Why would you want to do that to me? (Jumps up on couch, pulls dramatic stance, couch falls backward, he crawls up to kneel on the front of the seat.) They've hated me ever since I played a veteran of the Great Galactic War between the Thetans and the Engrammatised Ones. (Goes boggle-eyed, cackles, shrieks ...,) We're all going to be bigger than Oprah! (YAY!) And it makes me sick, you know that? Why isn't everyone looking at me RIGHT NOW? And you know what? I'm NOT GAY!!! Mimi! Ha! Nicole! Ha! Penelope! Ha! Katie, aww, KATIIEEE!!! Ha-haaaaaaaaaaaa! Here, I can lick my own balls, seriously. Just watch me ... (Licks own balls, audience stampede out of the auditorium.)
The above was a party political broadcast on behalf of Tom Cruise.
by Fearman April 16, 2008
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1. The One Ring created by the Dark Lord Sauron in Tolkein's Lord of the Rings "to bring them all/ and in the darkness bind them/ in the Land of Mordor/ where the shadows lie."

2. Kick-ass horror movie which manages to be an improvement on both the Japanese original and its own sequel. Concerns a video tape which (indirectly) kills its viewers by attracting their way the attention of a little girl you REALLY do NOT want to meet. You've probably heard the sting in the tail, so I won't mention it here.
Always the Nazgul are drawn to the Ring.

Answering machine message inspired by The Ring:

"Hello, you have just contacted the Morgan Family Bloodstock Company, Moesko Island. Unfortunately Samara can't come crawling out of your television just at the moment, but if you leave your name, number and details of the video after the tone, she promises to get in touch with you some time next week. Sweet dreams."
by Fearman November 18, 2007
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