Definitions by Father Abraham II

Stationary Jet Lag 

A relatively mild form of jet lag that doesn’t happen after traveling somewhere, but after either night of daylight savings time when you’re body is readjusting to the hour lost or gained overnight.

I get fired from my job every spring because stationary jet lag causes me to oversleep and show up late the day after spring forward.

Stationary Jet Lag by Father Abraham II March 14, 2022

Jesus Weekend 

A weekend where you leave on Friday and then return on Sunday.

Last weekend I went to Canada with my family and tonight I'm going to Kathy's 48-hour party for the second consecutive Jesus Weekend.

Jesus Weekend by Father Abraham II February 2, 2022

8D 

The smallest penis size. Behind 8=D and 8==D. The largest penis size is 8=================(until you run out of room)D

Jake looks very handsome, but I don't know if I'd fuck him because I heard he's 8D.

Bill drives a monster truck? He must be a total 8D.

8D by Father Abraham II April 10, 2021

Cow Piss

Milk

One cold cup of cow piss coming up

Cow Piss by Father Abraham II November 29, 2020

Pandemoron

Someone who thinks that you’ll get sick by drinking Corona beer or eating Chinese food, but not by going to a crowded beach or partying with a bunch of friends in a fucking mosh pit

Mark is French kissing every chick at the club but he won’t call his sick mom because he thinks he’ll catch it through the phone. He a pandemoron

Pandemoron by Father Abraham II April 18, 2020

Pandumbass 

Currently a dangerous threat to public health. Pandumbasses are people who don't know how to stay 6 feet apart, cover their mouth when they sneeze, and try to talk and shake hands with every single person they meet in public. They are a lot more susceptible to not only catch the disease themselves but also pass it on to other people.

Pandumbasses on Spring Break are partying anyway and don't care that they could pass corona to literally hundreds of other people.
Pandumbasses took to the State Capitol to protest social distancing guidelines designed to save people's lives.
Steve didn't wash his hands after using a public bathroom but wouldn't buy Corona beer because it was just too risky - what a Pandumbass

Pandumbass by Father Abraham II April 18, 2020

Seth Rogen's Signature Fragrance™ 

The smell of weed

My car always smells like Seth Rogen's Signature Fragrance™, so I always have to cover the car with Fabreeze whenever I get pulled over by the cops.

Seth Rogen's Signature Fragrance™ by Father Abraham II June 17, 2019