11 definitions by EternalEmailingSystem

Sexy Smoothie

A creamy concoction consisting of vaginal discharge, semen, and saliva. Normally guzzled by one or both partners as a form of fuel before sexual activities.

Tony was feeling wiped so he broke into his supply of sexy smoothie and fueled up

by EternalEmailingSystem January 4, 2021

Back Alley Slurpee

A sexual act consisting of 2 partners (one of which being male), 1/3 cups of crushed ice, and a straw. The pair puts the crushed ice into the rectum of one of the partners, quickly followed by the insertion of the penis into said orifice. The male then has to quickly finish into the crushed ice, insert the straw into the anus, and slurp up all the refreshing juices inside.

Garth was working all day under the hot Alabama sun, driven on by the thought of a nice back alley slurpee once his task was fulfilled.

by EternalEmailingSystem January 14, 2021

Clean the Snowman

When a partner licks up the dried semen from a crusty snowman in order to turn them on.

Margaret’s papa Barry took some convincing but I seduced him into letting me clean the snowman like the dirty boy he was.

by EternalEmailingSystem January 15, 2021

Flaming Log

A last-ditch effort made by a horny male to get someone to satisfy their sexual desires where they dowse their penis in lighter fluid and set it ablaze. The hope is to have another person put out the flames with their hands or mouth and fulfill the sexual desires. A very high risk high reward scenario.

“I knew Gavin liked me but I didn’t think he’d make a flaming log for me... good thing it worked.”

by EternalEmailingSystem January 14, 2021

Reverse Momma Bird

When a partner puts a hard food (ex. Baby Carrot, Seeds, clams, Etc) in their mouth and puts their lip to another’s anus. They then proceed to propel the food item into the rectum providing anal pleasures to the receiver.

Tiffany put the grapes in her nightstand, planning to have a fun night of reverse momma birding with Steve.

by EternalEmailingSystem January 14, 2021

Kids on a Log

A food item created by ejaculating onto a stalk of celery and placing raisins atop the semen. Celery with the Forbidden Ranch, if you will.

Lil Freddy at lunch-

“Damn I got Kids on a Log for the third time this week!”

by EternalEmailingSystem January 15, 2021

Pancakes and Pussy Day

March 25th is the day completely dedicated to pancakes and pussy, with anyone with a vagina being accosted by pancakes and those who wish to eat them out.

“I really wish every day was Pancakes and Pussy Day, I could really go for some breakfast and oral sex right about now”

by EternalEmailingSystem March 26, 2021