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Definitions by EternalEmailingSystem

Pancakes and Pussy Day 

March 25th is the day completely dedicated to pancakes and pussy, with anyone with a vagina being accosted by pancakes and those who wish to eat them out.
“I really wish every day was Pancakes and Pussy Day, I could really go for some breakfast and oral sex right about now”

Clean the Snowman 

When a partner licks up the dried semen from a crusty snowman in order to turn them on.
Margaret’s papa Barry took some convincing but I seduced him into letting me clean the snowman like the dirty boy he was.

Kids on a Log

A food item created by ejaculating onto a stalk of celery and placing raisins atop the semen. Celery with the Forbidden Ranch, if you will.
Lil Freddy at lunch-

“Damn I got Kids on a Log for the third time this week!”

Crusty Snowman 

When a particularly hairy male ejaculates onto their own chest hairs and allows it to dry. This allows for someone to clean the snowman.
When Margaret’s sexy DILF took off his shirt revealing he was a crusty snowman I almost came in my pants, yearning to clean up his mess.

Flaming Log 

A last-ditch effort made by a horny male to get someone to satisfy their sexual desires where they dowse their penis in lighter fluid and set it ablaze. The hope is to have another person put out the flames with their hands or mouth and fulfill the sexual desires. A very high risk high reward scenario.
“I knew Gavin liked me but I didn’t think he’d make a flaming log for me... good thing it worked.”

Conjoined Conception

A form of conception widely discredited by western medicine, conjoined conception involves a set of conjoined twins that act as a transportation vessel to stimulate and prepare semen for their journey to the ovum.

The conjoined twins sit between the conceiving couple and light incense to create a fertile space. One of the twins then orally pleasures the male until completion, being sure to collect all the seed in their mouth. They then transmit the collected fluids into the mouth of the other conjoined twin, masterfully delivering every last drop of the payload. Finally, the conjoined twin puts their mouth to the vagina of the future mother and forcefully project the semen into the vagina, completing the rigorous ceremony.
After months of attempting to conceive, Mary asked John if he could ring up his brothers for a conjoined conception.

Back Alley Slurpee 

A sexual act consisting of 2 partners (one of which being male), 1/3 cups of crushed ice, and a straw. The pair puts the crushed ice into the rectum of one of the partners, quickly followed by the insertion of the penis into said orifice. The male then has to quickly finish into the crushed ice, insert the straw into the anus, and slurp up all the refreshing juices inside.
Garth was working all day under the hot Alabama sun, driven on by the thought of a nice back alley slurpee once his task was fulfilled.