Definitions by Eaton Holgoode
Crimp Cable
Just another great way to reference taking a big ole dump, crap, shit, defecate, pinch a loaf, snap a deuce.
Example 1: Roger felt his anus pucker and he new he was about to Crimp Cable.
Example 2: Hey Joe. Where is Stan. He was here a minute ago. Joe: He will be right back. He had to go Crimp Cable.
Example 3: Dan felt his bowels bloat during his presentation at the annual stockholders meeting. He knew he was about to blow and had to leave immediately. He quickly announced that he needed to run Crimp Cable and would return shortly.
Example 2: Hey Joe. Where is Stan. He was here a minute ago. Joe: He will be right back. He had to go Crimp Cable.
Example 3: Dan felt his bowels bloat during his presentation at the annual stockholders meeting. He knew he was about to blow and had to leave immediately. He quickly announced that he needed to run Crimp Cable and would return shortly.
Crimp Cable by Eaton Holgoode April 10, 2015
Gropeopotamus
A greasy, fat white male pervert that is constantly on the hunt for cheap feel and grope of a nonchalant nature. Gropeopotamus are fround at shopping malls, grocery stores, play grounds, parks, concerts and sporting events. They are recognizable by their outdated, stained clothing, barrel-shaped beer guts, salivating mouths, nearly hairless bodies and stubby runt-like legs. The Gropeopotamus is aggressive and unpredictable and will grope and fondle adults and children of any sex, age or race. Gropeopotamus also smell like a mixture of musky sweat and aged cheese.
Cindy was enjoyed a day of shopping at the local mall until she and her friend Carla encounted a Gropeopotamus in the food court.
Gropeopotamus by Eaton Holgoode April 9, 2015
Anchor Drop
To take a dump from a standing position on the toilet into the toilet bowl similar to that of a ship dropping anchor in the open sea. The Anchor Drop is performed by removing one's shoes, socks, pants and underwear. Once disrobed, straddle the toilet bowl (lid up) by placing the feet on each side of the bowl. Align the asshole over the center of the toilet bowl and crouch slightly. Commence release of the bowels and watch the anchor fall into the water below. The bigger the turd the bigger the splash. Warning: The ankles and feet may get wet while performing this activity and loose stool is not recommended. Wiping the ass and leaving the turd for others to see are optional.
Frank, Roger and Carl went to the school locker room and lined up in the stalls for a simultaneous Anchor Drop. While they were hoping to synchronize their squeezes, they all dropped a deuce at varying moments and sounded like three kids jumping in splash pool. They left their works for the janitor.
Anchor Drop by Eaton Holgoode April 9, 2015
Pulling Leather
To lovingly and affectionately tug and pull on the scrotum. Performed to alleviate the scrotum from a leathery, taut state to a soft, dangly condition. Leathery scrotum may occur from cold weather, swimming or other conditions that contribute to jerky sack. Pulling Leather may be self-performed or with the assistance of a mate.
After spending all day on the slopes, Carl went back to the ski lodge and began Pulling Leather by the fire until his sack was warm and loose.
Pulling Leather by Eaton Holgoode April 9, 2015
Sardine Fingers
The putrid smell of fish puss that clings to the fingers and under the nails of one's digits that were inserted into the dirty box of a dirty whore.
Frank: Hey Carl. Did you have fish for lunch? I think I smell grunions and malt vinegar.
Carl: Hell no braaaahhh. I finger fucked that homeless whore that hangs around the park. You my friend are smelling my Sardine Fingers.
Frank: Dude I'm fixing to chunk my lunch.
Carl: Hell no braaaahhh. I finger fucked that homeless whore that hangs around the park. You my friend are smelling my Sardine Fingers.
Frank: Dude I'm fixing to chunk my lunch.
Sardine Fingers by Eaton Holgoode April 8, 2015
Shit Bakehouse
Construction term for rancid, shit filled portable toilet on a hot construction job site. Also referred to as a Turd Cooker.
Stan was hungover from weekend partying. He had no choice but to pop a squat and drop a greasy shit on Monday in the job site's Shit Bakehouse.
Shit Bakehouse by Eaton Holgoode April 8, 2015
Cotton Muzzle
To shove a girl's panties in her mouth as an improvised muzzling device. Done to quiet and muffle her overly loud moans and screams during sexual intercourse . A Cotton Muzzle is most often deployed when an individual is having sex with an unfamiliar female partner and such action is required as soon as one realizes that they have a real Screamer on their hands. The Cotton Muzzle provides immediate, evasive action to avoid waking up parents or roommates but does not impede the couples sexual rhythm.
Gary: Yo Braaahhh. What's up. Did you bring that chick home from the bar last night? I thought I heard a scream but went back to sleep.
Carl: Yea brooohhh. I was beatin dem guts up good. That bitch was a screamer yo. I couldn't stop banging dat ass so I had to give her the old Cotton Muzzle before she woke everyone up.
Carl: Yea brooohhh. I was beatin dem guts up good. That bitch was a screamer yo. I couldn't stop banging dat ass so I had to give her the old Cotton Muzzle before she woke everyone up.
Cotton Muzzle by Eaton Holgoode April 8, 2015