Definitions by Eaton Holgoode

Hand-Warming 

Using the hands to stimulate the genitals in preparation for sexual intercourse.

Rachel got me nice and rigid with a little hand-warming.

Hand-Warming by Eaton Holgoode January 9, 2018

Colon Birth 

Taking a massive shit. Passing a turd so big you contemplate having a mid-wife there to assist with delivery.

I may need stitches after that colon birth.

Colon Birth by Eaton Holgoode January 9, 2018

Stank-Slapped 

Sex with chick who is extremely dirty and omits a ripe odor from every orifice. But the need for sex and a good nut overpowers good judgement and you still give her the D.

I picked up a prostitute last night and got stank-slapped. But it was worth the $20.

Stank-Slapped by Eaton Holgoode January 9, 2018

Fur Cuffed 

Fisting an extremely hairy, bushy anus up to the wrist line.

May also apply to fisting of an overly bushy vagina.

He bent over so I could fist his ass and it looked like a mink farm down there. So I got fur cuffed.

Rachel fur cuffed me last night with that hairy beaver of hers.

Fur Cuffed by Eaton Holgoode January 8, 2018

Mexican Speed Bag 

When your girl works your ball sack with both fists like a speed bag at the gym all whilst you sing the popular Mexican song Cielito lindo otherwise known as the Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay song at the top of your lungs.

Sonja was beating Carl’s balls good as he loves a Mexican speed bag.

Through the thin walls of his apartment, the sounds of Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Canta y no llores could be heard.

Mexican Speed Bag by Eaton Holgoode January 8, 2018

Ball Jester 

A male or female engaged solely to attend and entertain men at a party by performing oral sex.

Are you going to Ryan’s party this year? Last year he had a toothless ball jester and I got a hot gummy. I think she was some meth whore off the street but it sure felt good.

Ball Jester by Eaton Holgoode January 8, 2018

Brow Bustin’ 

After reaching nut from a vigorous session of hot oral, your finish off by rubbing out that man curd and lay the rope across her eyebrows. Talented males can cinch flow to avoid laying out a jizz unibrow. Thick loads leaving Brezhnev style brows are desirable.

I sent Rachel home after a little brow bustin’ last night. Them thick ropes was all over they forehead.

Brow Bustin’ by Eaton Holgoode January 8, 2018