ET_Bill's definitions

legerdemaintenance

1. Creatively deceitful or purposefully obfuscated accounting practices used to hide illegal or embarrassing activities.

2. The mental gymnastics and/or cryptic keystroke sequences required to input data correctly into poorly designed and operationally suspect software applications (e.g., databases, .DOC & .PDF forms, etc.).

A triple portmanteau of 'ledger' (pad for posting business & accounting transactions), 'legerdemain' (magic; deception; trickery) and 'maintenance.'

Upon the discovery of Arthur Andersen's legerdemaintenance, Enron's house of cards collapsed into a stinking pile of shit bankrupting hundreds of former employees & investors.

by ET_Bill January 21, 2011

kilopology

Literally, "a thousand pardons." A geeky form of apology that is nominally three orders of magnitude better than a simple, "I'm sorry." Kilopology is the most commonly used SI-unitized solicitation of forgiveness; others include "megapology" (offered in matters of sexual infidelity), "gigapology" (offered in matters of accidentally killing a little girl's pet pony), and terapology (offered when destroying worlds). Antonyms: millipology (i.e., not really giving a shit) & picopology (i.e., not even giving a fart).

Dude! I didn't mean to spill your beer. A kilopology and refill are in order.

by ET_Bill March 18, 2010

high tech dumbass

Unsuccessful pursuit or venture incorporating an over reliance upon state-of-the-market technologies and gadgetry instead of the safer, more reliable, "Keep It Simple, Stupid" (KISS) philosophy. Epic technology fail.

Terry: This Firebird X guitar has so many switches and knobs and settings... I just can't understand how to use all $6,000 of its robotic multiprocessing awesomeness.

Terry's Dad: Son, them boys just got bit by the high tech dumbass. Here, try my '64 Gibson ES-120...

by ET_Bill January 12, 2012

cherubolical

Looks like an angel but really just a demon in disguise

She: Your daughter is too cute... just adorable!
He: Nah, this cherubolical just took a hammer to my entire Pink Floyd CD collection.

by ET_Bill July 8, 2010

Farfromdrunken

(a) Stone cold sober
(b) Designated driver who happens to own a Volkswagen vehicle

Him: Are you at all interested in a hook up, fräulein?
Her: No, I'm Farfromdrunken.

by ET_Bill January 8, 2012

excreta

a polite amalgam of the terms "et cetera" and "all that shit." It sounds like Latin and therefore makes you appear smarter than you actually are.

Todd's list of food for gamers included easy cheese, Bugles, pizza, Red Bull, excreta.

by ET_Bill July 22, 2010

root knocker

Slang term used by emergency services personnel (esp. in the southern U.S.) used to describe a particulary violent vehicular collision, typically with horrendous injuries &/or fatalities.

EMT #1: Last night's root knocker had two pinned in one car and a crispy critter in the other; we had to use the Jaws of Life to pry their drunk asses out. We cut Sir Crispie out later.

EMT#2: I heard. (pause) Where do you want to go for lunch? I suddenly have a hankerin' for Bar-B-Q.

by ET_Bill March 18, 2010