Dusty's Baby Powder's definitions
It's a bear that patrols malls, often catching bad shoppers and putting them in mall jails. One of many mall cop animals.
Ralph: It's been a rough day. The mall grizzly out here is really crazy.
Emily: Do you think we can trap them? We need some honey.
Ralph: No, mall grizzlies don't eat honey, they eat money!!
Emily: Do you think we can trap them? We need some honey.
Ralph: No, mall grizzlies don't eat honey, they eat money!!
by Dusty's Baby Powder October 11, 2010
Get the Mall Grizzly mug.A bat often brought to a sale by older women which is used to fight for a sale item. Usually done when another grandma tries to get the same sale item you wanted first. Sale Bats are also part of the pre-Christmas workout called 'Sale-R-cise', although it can be used at any time. The first known use of a Sale Bat was on April 27, 2011 when Beatrice and Paul Middleton were playing with one. You have to be careful not to get caught with it or else you will hear Mom yell very loudly.
Beatrice: Hey Wilson, want me to teach you how to use a Sale Bat?
Wilson: (stunned) Are you talking like a vandal? I don't know. What good will a Sale Bat do me? Are you trying to get me in trouble here?
Beatrice: No, this is how you use a Sale Bat. Its a whole lot of fun. What you do is you take it to the store and wait for an old granny like me to come and steal a sale item. Then here's the fun part: you clobber them with it. I mean, you really let 'em have it!
Bryant: Beatrice Elvira Mary Duke Middleton!! What in the world are you teaching him? To steal stuff? Oh my God! My own Gunny Granny, a common criminal!!
Beatrice: (laughing) Well, you want a piece of it! We could We could practice on Grandma Flo. It'd be fun. Then we could go to the store and try it out for real.
Morris: (really angry) Mom, I don't approve of this. You are NOT taking that ball bat to the store. I will not have it!
Beatrice: (starts swinging at Morris with the baseball bat) You want a piece of me, son? Do you?!! Pretend I'm at the store trying to steal something you want. I'm trying to give you all a lesson here. That's all this is.
Morris: Hey, that item was in my cart. Get away from it!! (grabs the bat and whacks Beatrice hard in the arm).
Beatrice: That's it! You've got it now! That's a Sale Bat. Every granny should keep one of these. Even a Gunny Granny like me.
Wilson: (stunned) Are you talking like a vandal? I don't know. What good will a Sale Bat do me? Are you trying to get me in trouble here?
Beatrice: No, this is how you use a Sale Bat. Its a whole lot of fun. What you do is you take it to the store and wait for an old granny like me to come and steal a sale item. Then here's the fun part: you clobber them with it. I mean, you really let 'em have it!
Bryant: Beatrice Elvira Mary Duke Middleton!! What in the world are you teaching him? To steal stuff? Oh my God! My own Gunny Granny, a common criminal!!
Beatrice: (laughing) Well, you want a piece of it! We could We could practice on Grandma Flo. It'd be fun. Then we could go to the store and try it out for real.
Morris: (really angry) Mom, I don't approve of this. You are NOT taking that ball bat to the store. I will not have it!
Beatrice: (starts swinging at Morris with the baseball bat) You want a piece of me, son? Do you?!! Pretend I'm at the store trying to steal something you want. I'm trying to give you all a lesson here. That's all this is.
Morris: Hey, that item was in my cart. Get away from it!! (grabs the bat and whacks Beatrice hard in the arm).
Beatrice: That's it! You've got it now! That's a Sale Bat. Every granny should keep one of these. Even a Gunny Granny like me.
by Dusty's Baby Powder May 21, 2011
Get the Sale Bat mug.A push up done by Ben Hatley. Done by holding one hand on the floor and pushing yourself only by one arm and only by the index finger. These are intensely hard to do. They can also be done against a wall. Its one of Ben's favorite exercises. So if you want arms no woman would want to leave, stand on one hand and do a Hatley Heave!
Ben: Hey Michael, look at this! I'm doing my Hatley Heave.
Michael: Wow! I never seen you do that. Its just a push up on one hand, right?
Ben: Yes, just lay down here and I'll show you what to do. (they both lie down) Push up on one hand and stick out your index finger. See how long you can hold it.
Michael: Woah, hard! I never thought that push ups could be so much fun!
Ben: Well, you're Grandpa is a big old bear. I've been doing push ups for years. And this is my favorite kind. You can't go wrong with a Hatley Heave!
Michael: (does another Hatley Heave) Yes! They're awesome! I'm gonna have to tell Nick about this. Maybe Alec, too. They'll like it.
Ben: The Hatley Heave is hot! Bicep inferno!
Michael: Wow! I never seen you do that. Its just a push up on one hand, right?
Ben: Yes, just lay down here and I'll show you what to do. (they both lie down) Push up on one hand and stick out your index finger. See how long you can hold it.
Michael: Woah, hard! I never thought that push ups could be so much fun!
Ben: Well, you're Grandpa is a big old bear. I've been doing push ups for years. And this is my favorite kind. You can't go wrong with a Hatley Heave!
Michael: (does another Hatley Heave) Yes! They're awesome! I'm gonna have to tell Nick about this. Maybe Alec, too. They'll like it.
Ben: The Hatley Heave is hot! Bicep inferno!
by Dusty's Baby Powder October 7, 2011
Get the Hatley Heave mug.A love exercise created by Martha Halftrack. Done by hugging someone then letting go and hugging them again. The constant hug and release motion is also a chest exercise. It is called a Marty Melt because when Marty hugs you, you melt into her. She uses this on her husband, Amos, and her favorite grandson, Bryant Hollifield.
Amos: Oh no, the guys at the party we're talking bad smack about me. I'm gonna get them. After all, I am a B.G., commander of Camp Swampy.
Marty: Whoah, dear. Easy there. I got an exercise that will have you loving them again. Its a Marty Melt. Come here and hug me, but then let go. And when you hug me, I mean SQUEEZE!
Amos: Sure, but how would squeezing on you get the guys to love me? You don't hug them.
Marty: (laughs) Well, its one way I show you love. Come on, Amos, we've been married 53 years. I've loved since the day I met you. (she hugs him hard)
Amos: (returns the hug) Whoah! That's a power hug right there. This is one sweet exercise! Maybe I should tell the other guys.
Bryant: Hey, are you two up to something sweet? Are you getting mushy on him? Let me at it!
Marty: Here, dear. Its your turn. You haven't tried the Marty Melt yet. Now, give Grandma Marty a big hug and don't let go until I say.
Bryant: (hugs Marty) Wow! That's a real burner. My chest is stinging.
Marty: Well, that's a Marty Melt. It really massages your heart. You go all gooey when you get one of these. I love it!
Bryant: Sweet and awesome! I'm gonna have to show Gunny Granny, she'd love it! The Marty Melt is hot!
Marty: Whoah, dear. Easy there. I got an exercise that will have you loving them again. Its a Marty Melt. Come here and hug me, but then let go. And when you hug me, I mean SQUEEZE!
Amos: Sure, but how would squeezing on you get the guys to love me? You don't hug them.
Marty: (laughs) Well, its one way I show you love. Come on, Amos, we've been married 53 years. I've loved since the day I met you. (she hugs him hard)
Amos: (returns the hug) Whoah! That's a power hug right there. This is one sweet exercise! Maybe I should tell the other guys.
Bryant: Hey, are you two up to something sweet? Are you getting mushy on him? Let me at it!
Marty: Here, dear. Its your turn. You haven't tried the Marty Melt yet. Now, give Grandma Marty a big hug and don't let go until I say.
Bryant: (hugs Marty) Wow! That's a real burner. My chest is stinging.
Marty: Well, that's a Marty Melt. It really massages your heart. You go all gooey when you get one of these. I love it!
Bryant: Sweet and awesome! I'm gonna have to show Gunny Granny, she'd love it! The Marty Melt is hot!
by Dusty's Baby Powder October 23, 2011
Get the Marty Melt mug.A workout program done by Opal Crankshaft and Emily Hanson. When they do this you can often find them sitting and talking to each other. Its not uncommon Emily responding with something witty to something Opal says. Its a great conversation piece as well as a workout.
Opal: What am I gonna get Earl for Christmas next year?
Emily: An Opalrobics DVD?
Opal: (shocked) What in the world would he want with that? Emily Hanson what are you talking about?
Emily: Opalrobics, you know. You, teaching aerobics?
Opal: I get it! Opal plus aerobics! Nice!!
Emily: Its gonna be a hit. Old women everywhere could do it!
(All of a sudden Beatrice Middleton charges into the room)
Beatrice: Hey Hanson. I heard that! You're gonna get it now. I'm gonna work you. We're gonna do this like a Gunny Granny! TEN HUT! MOVE IT NOW!
Opal: (laughing) Beatrice, why do you do that?
Beatrice: Just to scare you and make your heart work better. Its Opalrobics after all!
Emily: An Opalrobics DVD?
Opal: (shocked) What in the world would he want with that? Emily Hanson what are you talking about?
Emily: Opalrobics, you know. You, teaching aerobics?
Opal: I get it! Opal plus aerobics! Nice!!
Emily: Its gonna be a hit. Old women everywhere could do it!
(All of a sudden Beatrice Middleton charges into the room)
Beatrice: Hey Hanson. I heard that! You're gonna get it now. I'm gonna work you. We're gonna do this like a Gunny Granny! TEN HUT! MOVE IT NOW!
Opal: (laughing) Beatrice, why do you do that?
Beatrice: Just to scare you and make your heart work better. Its Opalrobics after all!
by Dusty's Baby Powder April 2, 2011
Get the Opalrobics mug.A rough intense foot massage mostly given by Opal Crankshaft. Mostly given in a bucket of water with cocoa butter and honey lotion added to it. Opal often does this to her ex-husband, Earl, when he won't play footsie with her.
Opal: Hey Earl, you want a tootsie tickler?
Earl: What do you mean? When we used to play footsie?
Opal: Sure. Remember that strip where we tried to play footsie but you didn't want to?
Earl: Yeah, you really took it to me then.
Ann: Oh, massaging the ashi I see.
Opal: Hey, do you want one too?
Ann: Hai!
Earl: What do you mean? When we used to play footsie?
Opal: Sure. Remember that strip where we tried to play footsie but you didn't want to?
Earl: Yeah, you really took it to me then.
Ann: Oh, massaging the ashi I see.
Opal: Hey, do you want one too?
Ann: Hai!
by Dusty's Baby Powder November 13, 2010
Get the Tootsie Tickler mug.A combination of the words "occupied" and "constipated". Most often used when tied up on the toilet.
Opal: "Ed, you've got a phone call. Get out of the bathroom!"
Ed: "I'm occupated, I'll call them back"
Opal: "Ed, get out here this instant!"
Ed: "Did you not hear me, I'm occupated, this could take a while!"
Ed: "I'm occupated, I'll call them back"
Opal: "Ed, get out here this instant!"
Ed: "Did you not hear me, I'm occupated, this could take a while!"
by Dusty's Baby Powder August 31, 2010
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