Definitions by Dubiks

Prison 

A place where gay people can freely express their sexuality.

prisoner: "you're going to be my bitch tonight."
gay person: "Ohhh, I like the sound of that!"

Prison by Dubiks November 9, 2018

vulture 

A person who tries to steal your Halloween candy.

vulture: (tries to steal my Halloween candy)
Me: (kicks vulture) "Fuck off!"

vulture by Dubiks October 31, 2018

Halloween 

Best night of the year for both kids and pedophiles.

mom: "Bye kids, Happy Halloween, remember to watch out for pedophiles."
kids: "We will mom."

Halloween by Dubiks October 31, 2018

privacy 

A thing that doesn't exist anymore.

The government is always trying to find new ways to invade our privacy to the point where it is impossible to not be watched.

privacy by Dubiks October 29, 2018

candy 

drugs 4 kids!!!

kid on candy: "YEAH I'M THE KING OF THE WORLD!!!!!"
friend: "The hell is up with him?"
dad: "He's fucked up on fun dip and now he can't stop spazzing out."
friend: "Why the hell would you give him fun dip you know that shit fucks people up right?"
dad: "Relax, I just want little Timmy to have a good time during his birthday."

candy by Dubiks October 28, 2018

weed 

A drug that is for some reason still illegal in some states even though there many other legal drugs that are more dangerous.

alcohol, cigarettes, opioids = legal
weed = illegal?????

I don't see the logic in that.

weed by Dubiks October 28, 2018

college essay 

An essay where highschoolers have to boast about how awesome they are in order to get into the colleges they want. The harder they boast the more likely they'll get accepted.

Average college essay: I think that I'm capable of of becoming a college student because I'm a hard worker. I played JV tennis and put in a lot of effort while playing. I have a 3.2 gpa and worked hard to pass all of my classes in order to graduate. I have the capability of working hard no matter what.

Harvard college essay: I invented a cure for Cancer, Aids, and Gonorrhea. I helped rebuild an entire village in Africa in under 2 weeks. I'm the president in 12 different clubs and have been for over 2 years. I scored a 36 on the ACT and got 5's on all of the 10 AP classes I took. I'm also running a small solar panel business and am helping to save the environment. I've won the National robotics tournament 3 times and am the face of robotics. I'm the best at everything. I'M A GOD!!!

college essay by Dubiks October 25, 2018