5 definition by Dijital-JB

Top Definition
noun & verb. The act of asphyxiating oneself close to death whilst masturbating for the thrill of it. A fetish that can sometimes go a little too far by accident, leading to death.

Derived from "asphyxsia" and "wank" (British term)
The Conservatives cannot effectively comment on corruption, since they became the party of cash-for-questions, the extramarital affair and the fatal asphyxiwank
by Dijital-JB May 08, 2006

Mug icon
Buy a asphyxiwank mug!
Used in biology and engineering to describe a divide, it is also a vernacular expression describing lady parts. See wedge and flange, among other carpentry terms. Popularised by the character Jeff in the BBC TV Series "Coupling"
You don't understand a word I'm saying do you? I've always wanted to do this.... Gusset. Breasts, thighs, cleft
by Dijital-JB October 24, 2005

Mug icon
Buy a cleft mug!

Derek Ogilvie is a Scottish "psychic" (or rather psycho) who uses cold reading techniques, and pretends in all seriousness that he can read unruly babies' minds for their parents. What he actually does is mention a series of possible reasons why the mother is single or the couple aren't getting on very well until he hits the jackpot and they cry, having not imparted any practical advice as to how to deal with the errant child. He has a television show in the UK on Channel 5. He's a fraud.
I can't see how anyone actually believes The Baby Mind Reader is actually a psychic... he's blatantly guessing.
by Dijital-JB September 18, 2006

Mug icon
Buy a The Baby Mind Reader mug!
n. (facial furniture)

An interpretation of a beard. Grown by those who don't have sufficient coverage to actually constitute an actual beard. They often have trouble growing the typical 'evil twin' goatee (as displayed by Hasselhoff in Knight Rider for a few episodes) so they just go for the hairy sideburns and neck look. Pitiful.
Thank fuck Rabs shaved his beeyard off, he looked like a proper tramp. His beeyard scared freshers off cos they thought he was gonna ask them for spare change.
by Dijital-JB October 10, 2004

Mug icon
Buy a beeyard mug!
n. colq., one who has sex in their sleep, often not remembering the next morning or waking up halfway into the act
"Hold on. Why am I all sticky? Have I had sex in my sleep? Am I a sleep shagger?"
by Dijital-JB April 25, 2007

Mug icon
Buy a sleep shagger mug!