Des Lynam's Love-Gland's definitions
A depraved sport enjoyed by bohemian arty types. The participants strip off and stand facing each other. On the referee's word they "engage" their genitalia and commence a sickening battle of diseased phalluses. The depraved spectators roar their approval of every thrust and slap, quaffing champagne throughout the contest. The winner is determined after one hour of cockmanship by 3 judges who award points for artistry, scabbiness, and blood-drawing. The winner enjoys a golden shower from all present and gets to bugger the referee's spaniel. The sport was named after Briggsy, the world's greatest arty bender, who invented it whilst celebrating winning the Turner Prize for his sculpture of a gorilla fucking a shark to death.
I'm in the mood for more entertainment after last night's Briggsy Fishing, Cedric.
Me too, Percy. I think its time for some Briggsy Cockfighting.
Me too, Percy. I think its time for some Briggsy Cockfighting.
by des lynam's love-gland August 4, 2009
Get the Briggsy Cockfightingmug. An artist who sells his wares in markets in the manner of an East End costermonger. He sets up his stall at dawn and adopts a cockney accent. His sad attempt to fit in with the common people is often seen through and he then becomes the victim of a thorough beating.
Look at that little cunt with the paintings!
Yeah, he's a Briggsy monger for sure. Let's pummel the little fucker.
Yeah, he's a Briggsy monger for sure. Let's pummel the little fucker.
by Des Lynam's Love-Gland September 22, 2006
Get the Briggsy mongermug. A pretentious artist who thinks he is a gangsta because he knows who to buy cannabis from and because he once used a crack cocaine suppository.
Why is that arty fellow limping like that?
He's got a rectumful of crack suppositories.
Aah I see, a Briggsy Gangsta!
He's got a rectumful of crack suppositories.
Aah I see, a Briggsy Gangsta!
by Des Lynam's Love-Gland September 20, 2006
Get the Briggsy Gangstamug. Facial hair grown by very spotty individuals. The Briggsy Beard serves the double purpose of partially concealing acne and avoiding shaving the tops off hideous pus-filled pimples. Most commonly grown by students and artists.
Why has that little artist grown a Briggsy Beard?
I don't know. Maybe he's not keen on slicing through those vile septic warts on his face.
I don't know. Maybe he's not keen on slicing through those vile septic warts on his face.
by Des Lynam's love-gland December 9, 2006
Get the Briggsy Beardmug. Name given to the current trend among arty types of shoplifting bondage equipment and dildos from sex shops. The stolen goods are then used in homemade porno films, a copy of which is sent to the manager of the shop in question.
Sex shop manager: Watch that little shit, Bertha. Looks an arty type. Probably here to commit Grand Theft Briggsy.
by Des Lynam's Love-Gland September 8, 2006
Get the Grand Theft Briggsymug. Belief held by an individual belonging to several dozen minority groups that he should be treated as a superior being. Otherwise known as "a chip on each shoulder and three on the hunchback".
If I want to take the piss out of that ugly, disabled, blind, black lesbian with two fannies and three arseholes then I will.
Yeah, who gives a fuck about Briggsy's Diversity Policy?
Yeah, who gives a fuck about Briggsy's Diversity Policy?
by Des Lynam's Love-Gland September 22, 2006
Get the Briggsy's Diversity Policymug. When a man gets lucky at the gay bar on a Sunday night and gets so well rogered he doesn't go in to work on the Monday. His day off is known in the gay community as Saint Briggsy's Day.
I went home with two fat black trannies last night and my arse is rawer than sushi. I'm gonna have a Saint Briggsy's Day.
by Des Lynam's Love-Gland September 11, 2006
Get the Saint Briggsy's Daymug.