Definitions by Dang Lin Wang LXIX

futon crouton

Any small to fairly sized object that falls between the cushions of a couch, commonly rediscovered after as much as a year of confinement in said furniture. Notable types include Goldfish, Cheez-Its, and popcorn, though more essential living room items, such as TV remotes, have been found, as well.

I found a Hershey's Kiss futon crouton the other day in my Ikea couch. Gave it a sniff to make sure there was no stank and I popped that motherfucker in my mouth.

futon crouton by Dang Lin Wang LXIX November 11, 2016

firing a blank 

Where you go to take a shit, but you only end up farting.

Thought I was bout to drop a hugeass deuce, but I just ended up firing a blank.

firing a blank by Dang Lin Wang LXIX November 12, 2015

Safety Drag 

When you go to click on something using either the mouse on a computer or your finger on a smartphone and drag away from the unintended link mistankenly clicked on, so as not to go there

Ment to go to pornhub to jack off, but I accidentally clicked on youporn, so I used a safety drag to prevent the youporn page from loading.

Safety Drag by Dang Lin Wang LXIX June 11, 2015

Mushroom top 

Male masturnation technique wherein the man vigorously oscillates the palm of his hand solely on the tip of the penis. A pleasureful experience if done masterfully, and vice versa

Ed realized the tip of his dick is pretty sensitive, so he decided to polish the bishop mushroom top style this afternoon.

Mushroom top by Dang Lin Wang LXIX April 23, 2015

He wants the P

Female equivalent of the ever popular "she wants the D" used to indicate recognition by a dude that a girl wants some dick. However in this case, the P is for pussy and said by chicks.

Marsha: I just caught that guy checking me out girl.
Wendy: I saw that too. Surely he wants the p.

He wants the P by Dang Lin Wang LXIX August 26, 2013

Sleeper Peeper 

A boner that arises at the moment when you are close to falling asleep, but becomes so uncomfortable that you must push back your sleep and instead focus on getting the boner flaccid. Typically one rids themselves of this type of erection by removing underwear or whatever they were sleeping in, and then not letting the peeper touch anywhere else, as that may keep the boner going. It may take awhile.

Dude 1: Yo man I got no sleep last night.
Dude 2: Damn that sucks. What happened?
Dude 1: Sleeper peeper bro. Shit didn't go away for hours.
Dude 2: I feel you dude.

Sleeper Peeper by Dang Lin Wang LXIX August 19, 2013

He comes from a different time 

A phrase used by many people as means of justification for an older person doing or saying something typically racist, sexist, or simply insensitive. This is said because these senile people come from a time when Jews were thought of as lesser, being gay was automatic hell in your life, and don't even get me started on being black.

Gramps: Those damn Jews and their smartass Asians are stealing all of America's money! I bet they're gay too!
Donny: Sir, I find that highly offensive and racist. Bro, can you please control your blatantly racist father?
Butch: I'm very sorry bro. But you know, he comes from a different time.
Donny: I guess it's ok then...

He comes from a different time by Dang Lin Wang LXIX March 4, 2013