pooping man: Wow there sure is a lot of crapperfiti in this stall. "Hendrix is God!", "Mike is gay", "UR mom sure can fuck", and "I pissed all over the toilet paper. sucks to be you asshole". It's like they'll all speaking to me.
Why is this paper wet? It cleans better than dry paper.
Why is this paper wet? It cleans better than dry paper.
by Cunty Fresh Fanatic October 26, 2010
The subject of conversation, is in such dire condition that any attempt to fix it is futile. A variation of the expression you can't polish a turd.
delusional mayor: The Chamber of Commerce and I will revitalize downtown Hazleton.
honest person: You can't shine shit, Mr. Mayor!
honest person: You can't shine shit, Mr. Mayor!
by Cunty Fresh Fanatic November 29, 2010
When an aeration pump, hose and stone are used to keep an gerbil or other small animal alive within the colon of a man. This increases the prostate stimulation time. Usually, battery powered bait aerator's are preferred because of compactness.
Rob: I got rats because they were cheaper than gerbils. You got the gerbil respirator.
George: I got this D cell powered bait aerator for $7.99, at Walmart.
Rob: Ah fuck, we forgot the tubes.
George: C'mon we're loose enough to go tubeless. You practically need vise grips to keep the little bastard in you long enough to cum.
Rob: Oh do you know me!
(Gay loving ensues.)
George: I got this D cell powered bait aerator for $7.99, at Walmart.
Rob: Ah fuck, we forgot the tubes.
George: C'mon we're loose enough to go tubeless. You practically need vise grips to keep the little bastard in you long enough to cum.
Rob: Oh do you know me!
(Gay loving ensues.)
by Cunty Fresh Fanatic October 30, 2010
A hypothetical sex act purportedly invented by comedian/orator/cunt addict Bill Maher, in which prostaglandins (vaginal dilators) are administered to a woman, while a man wearing a nasal respirator (to allow use of mouth) shoves his head into the dilated vagina, and orally stimulates the Gräfenburg Spot (G-spot) until the woman orgasms. Comedienne/actress Sarah Silverman is allegedly the first woman to have received the first Bill Maher Head Slam, thus no prostaglandins would have been needed. No proof yet exists of it ever happening, and shouldn't be preformed without a licensed obstetrician or Bill Maher present.
conservative man: What would you like me to do honey.
liberal woman: I want a Bill Maher Head Slam. (Woman explains the sex act.)
conservative man: Aww sick! I'll just give you a rim job, I'm still a recovering homosexual. This transition is rough enough.
(Lame sex ensues. Nobody cums.)
liberal woman: I want a Bill Maher Head Slam. (Woman explains the sex act.)
conservative man: Aww sick! I'll just give you a rim job, I'm still a recovering homosexual. This transition is rough enough.
(Lame sex ensues. Nobody cums.)
by Cunty Fresh Fanatic November 11, 2010
The talentless speditors that constantly complain in the Urban Dictionary forums, about the humorous entries to the UD. They consider any sex act other than reproductive intercourse, sexual violence.
whineditor: We must stop all of the sexually violent definitions in UD... Did you ever here of an Alabama Hot Pocket or a Cleveland Steamer occuring to anyone.
by Cunty Fresh Fanatic November 15, 2010
Any ufology oriented conspiracy theorist, that begins stalking you, when your business officially becomes a defense/intelligence contractor.
Derived from ufologist and follow.
Derived from ufologist and follow.
Me: As I was saying special agent Lopez. I heard him rooting around, a little after four. He was removing the hard drives from the computer. I confronted him and he grabbed at something in his waist. I hit him with a couple bursts from my new H&K MP7, that mess is what's left of him.
special agent: Typical ufollowgist bullshit. It was a can of pepper spray, but we found rope and and rag soaked in chloroform on his person. He may have tried to kidnap you.
Me: I've been followed by a ufollowgist before, but never had this violent shit happen. I feel bad for the dumb fuck.
special agent: You still were required to protect any sensitive material, with lethal force anyway. Don't feel bad.
special agent: Typical ufollowgist bullshit. It was a can of pepper spray, but we found rope and and rag soaked in chloroform on his person. He may have tried to kidnap you.
Me: I've been followed by a ufollowgist before, but never had this violent shit happen. I feel bad for the dumb fuck.
special agent: You still were required to protect any sensitive material, with lethal force anyway. Don't feel bad.
by Cunty Fresh Fanatic November 09, 2010
The shocking phenomenon, in which the slightest pressure upon an unaroused man's testicles causes pain. Yet during sexual arousal, the testicles can take repetitive strikes painlessly and/or pleasurably.
Woman strikes man with pillow in balls. He falls to ground in fetal position moaning in agony.
Woman feels bad, decides to break him a piece of ass. He fucks all three hole's like a human jackhammer, all night long.
Woman experienced the testicle paradox.
Woman feels bad, decides to break him a piece of ass. He fucks all three hole's like a human jackhammer, all night long.
Woman experienced the testicle paradox.
by Cunty Fresh Fanatic November 09, 2010