Cuntoleezza Rice's definitions

anusthetic

A soothing mixture of cocaine and vaseline that Fred Phelps sticks up his ass before sitting on a highway cone or other large object. See Goatse.

Westboro Baptist Church pastor Fred Phelps was at a God Hates Fags rally and asked me to find him some anusthetic. Not content with a simple crucifuck or normal act of pastorbation, he had developed an urgent need to shove something very large up his poop chute.

by Cuntoleezza Rice June 4, 2008

Papal Smear

Any of several bodily fluids taken from the Pope to make sure all is well with the Holy Father's naughty bits. Usually collected by a Vatican Manginacologist, the samples are checked for disease and and then sent to the FBI for DNA comparison in ongoing kid diddler investigations.

A Papal Smear recently sold on eBay for $135K. No one is sure just who reached under the Pope's gown and stole her grogan.

by Cuntoleezza Rice May 20, 2008

John Hagee

A Fundamentalist Christian evangelist fucktard and supporter of presidential candidate John McCain. Like Baptist preacher Fred Phelch, Hagee believes hurricane Katrina was caused by God’s wrath about gays in New Orleans. Hagee also called Catholic Church the Great Whore of the Apocalypse, although we all know they’re just a fraternity of kid diddlers.

John Hagee wouldn’t know what a great whore was if he was sitting on her face.

by Cuntoleezza Rice May 18, 2008

Great Whore

1. An especially skilled prostitute.
2. The Catholic Church as defined by fucktard Fundamentalist Christian evangelist John Hagee

John Hagee obviously doesn’t know the difference between a great whore and a bunch of kid diddlers. Maybe he should wake up and pull the straw out of Fred Phelch’s ass.

by Cuntoleezza Rice May 18, 2008

Osama Bin Gettinany

A sexually frustated terrorist that nobody will fuck.

FRED PHELPS: Hey Osama! Bin Gettinany?
OSAMA BIN GETTINANY: No Fred Phelch, how 'bout a rimjob you assbreff?

by Cuntoleezza Rice May 18, 2008

Mormon Trail

A skidmark often found in Mormon Underwear. This is a very common phenomena, as Mormons are not allowed to remove their undies and eventually dig deep while scratching their ass.

Jacob tried to avoid leaving a Mormon Trail by placing Mormon Panty Liners in his buttcrack. Unfortunately he enjoyed the sensation a little too much and woke up one morning with Mormon Crotch.

by Cuntoleezza Rice May 16, 2008

ClaMedia

Having one's clam exposed in the media.

Britney left in a hurry, neglecting to put on her Magic Underwear. As she exited the limo, the paparazzi exposed her to ClaMedia, causing an epidemic of Mormon Crotch at BYU.

by Cuntoleezza Rice May 16, 2008