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Craig in the Hat's definitions

Grunt

A collective word for all types of porn/pornography, arising from the noise recipients make whilst reading or watching it, and also by the performers.
Johnny is in his bedroom watching grunt on his laptop whilst his dad is in his shed looking at old grunt magazines.
by Craig in the Hat June 15, 2018
mugGet the Gruntmug.

pussy ceiling

A barrier in a company which stops men from progressing or being promoted. You need to have a pussy to get through it. A feature of sapphocracies.
Our office is totally run by bitches. You've got no chance of breaking through the pussy ceiling if you have a cock.
by Craig in the Hat February 20, 2011
mugGet the pussy ceilingmug.

lezzers

Lesbians by another name. Those who sup from the furry cup and follow a meat-free diet.
The only decent looking women in Quebec are all lezzers! The only warm place to stick your cock is in a moose!
by Craig in the Hat February 20, 2011
mugGet the lezzersmug.

Shit map

The stain made in your undercrackers, clothing or similar made by a follow-through or badly wiped bottom.

Similar to the Map of China, it can resemble any geographical land mass, from Africa (a big splurge with a drip) to the Philippines (an explosion of Fecal debris).

An obvious outcome (LOL!) of Dutch Coughs, Belgian sneezes and other trouser-related toilet mis-haps.
John had a dodgy curry last night and when he woke up this morning he'd made a classic shit map of India in his shorts!
by Craig in the Hat September 9, 2009
mugGet the Shit mapmug.

Belgian Sneeze

A fart which causes particles of watery shit, anal mucus or diarrhea (collectively known as FECAL DEBRIS) to be expelled unexpectedly from the anus.

Similar to a Dutch Cough but with more 'body'.

A partial act of following through, usually signifying an upset tummy!
I was in my office and I needed to fart so I checked the coast was clear and let rip. Just my luck, it was a sneaky Belgian Sneeze and I spent the rest of the day with a shit-map of Africa in the back of my pants!
by Craig in the Hat September 9, 2009
mugGet the Belgian Sneezemug.

Clam lapping

Eating snatch, rugmunching, giving oral pleasure to a woman.
Johnny loves clam lapping. He's happiest when he's snout deep in fresh snatch.
by Craig in the Hat February 20, 2011
mugGet the Clam lappingmug.

Cunts' circus

An unpleasant event, gathering or social occasion that is best avoided usually because of the people attending.
"Can I come to your place on Boxing Day? The wife's family are coming round and it'll be the usual cunts' circus!"

"I went to Bob's leaving do and it was ok until the Boss arrived. Then it just turned into a right cunts' circus so I left early"
by Craig in the Hat January 26, 2009
mugGet the Cunts' circusmug.

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