ChuckChaser69's definitions

pinch hitter

Someone who is asked to attend an event at the last minute, replacing an original participant that dropped out at the last minute.

Me: Cheryl, would you like to go to the opera tonight? Debbie couldn't make it.
Cheryl: Oh, so I'm your pinch hitter? Sure, I'll go.

by ChuckChaser69 May 17, 2008

in drag

Being ex-gay and married to ex-gay of the opposite sex. i.e. Pretending to be straight.

John Paulk (aka 'Candi') was in drag, poster child for 'pray the gay away', married to an ex-lesbian. Then they found him in a gay bar, and he fessed up.

by ChuckChaser69 August 11, 2011

winning

What you call yourself when you are trying to convince the world that you are not a crazy crack-addicted man-whore.

Guy, who is a loser, masturbating to sexy computer-generated characters from video games and anime drawings of girls showing their underwear at 4 in the morning in his mom's basement wiping the tears away: "I am winning."

by ChuckChaser69 March 22, 2011

floptimistic

In poker, unable to fold a middling hand to a large raise pre-flop.

Lon: Giannetti makes the call for a million with deuce-four suited.
Norman: I guess Giannetti is floptimistic.

by ChuckChaser69 February 9, 2012

victrola

noun describing the mental state of one who does not understand, and goes silent (sometimes angling one's head like the Victrola dog)

So when I was sick of hearing her spout on about how "brilliant" her crazy friends were, I told her to shut her pie hole before I punched her in the box, and she went victrola on me. After a minute of silence, I slowed to 30 pushed her out of the car.

by ChuckChaser69 October 14, 2011

older than God

Very old. Too old. Old enough to have created all life in the universe.

Someone: Hey, are you gonna vote for John McCain?
Me: Hell, no. That dude is older than God.

by ChuckChaser69 May 18, 2008

Crash landing

One's reaction after popping in the rental dvd for what one believes to be "Crash", Paul Haggis's hard-edged but ultimately heart-warming commentary on race relations in Los Angeles (and, thus, the world), only to find that one has accidentally rented "Crash", David Cronenberg's controversial and sexually graphic film (based on JG Ballard's controversial book) about car-crash sexual fetishism.

Pa: Ma, I do believe that woman is completely nude, and being sodomized by that man.

Ma: Pa, I do believe you are not mistaken. Oh my. (faints)

Rod Serling: What we have just seen here is a most unfortunate Crash landing. One that has sent these two hick fucks...(wait for it)...into The Twilight Zone.

by ChuckChaser69 July 15, 2010