ChuckChaser69's definitions

older than God

Very old. Too old. Old enough to have created all life in the universe.

Someone: Hey, are you gonna vote for John McCain?
Me: Hell, no. That dude is older than God.

by ChuckChaser69 May 18, 2008

go smoke some peyote

Go away and never come back.

Sam: Hey, can I borrow $50?
Eric: Uh, I loaned you $200 last week. No. You and Phil Jackson can go smoke some peyote.

by ChuckChaser69 June 2, 2011

director's cut

The long version (of a story). So-named due to the fact that most Director's Cuts of films are longer, sometimes interminably so.

Johnny: So, it was just after 6, and we hadn't even gotten out of the house yet, since Jane wanted to catch the end of "So you think you can dance..."

Jim: Hey, can you skip to the good parts? We don't need the director's cut.

by ChuckChaser69 November 3, 2009

Crash landing

One's reaction after popping in the rental dvd for what one believes to be "Crash", Paul Haggis's hard-edged but ultimately heart-warming commentary on race relations in Los Angeles (and, thus, the world), only to find that one has accidentally rented "Crash", David Cronenberg's controversial and sexually graphic film (based on JG Ballard's controversial book) about car-crash sexual fetishism.

Pa: Ma, I do believe that woman is completely nude, and being sodomized by that man.

Ma: Pa, I do believe you are not mistaken. Oh my. (faints)

Rod Serling: What we have just seen here is a most unfortunate Crash landing. One that has sent these two hick fucks...(wait for it)...into The Twilight Zone.

by ChuckChaser69 July 15, 2010

floptimistic

In poker, unable to fold a middling hand to a large raise pre-flop.

Lon: Giannetti makes the call for a million with deuce-four suited.
Norman: I guess Giannetti is floptimistic.

by ChuckChaser69 February 9, 2012

in drag

Being ex-gay and married to ex-gay of the opposite sex. i.e. Pretending to be straight.

John Paulk (aka 'Candi') was in drag, poster child for 'pray the gay away', married to an ex-lesbian. Then they found him in a gay bar, and he fessed up.

by ChuckChaser69 August 11, 2011

victrola

noun describing the mental state of one who does not understand, and goes silent (sometimes angling one's head like the Victrola dog)

So when I was sick of hearing her spout on about how "brilliant" her crazy friends were, I told her to shut her pie hole before I punched her in the box, and she went victrola on me. After a minute of silence, I slowed to 30 pushed her out of the car.

by ChuckChaser69 October 14, 2011