ChuckChaser69's definitions
someone who didn't do it, but is being pronounced guilty anyway. He is the opposite of OJ, who did it, but got off scott free.
That No-J was convicted of killing his family. But I think someone just snuck in and killed them while he slept. If you just killed your family, could you just go back to sleep?
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Jane needs to let her No-J boyfriend off the hook. Just because he has a hot co-worker doesn't mean they're doing it.
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Jane needs to let her No-J boyfriend off the hook. Just because he has a hot co-worker doesn't mean they're doing it.
by ChuckChaser69 July 23, 2010

1) an as-yet-undiscovered theory unifying many scientific field theories into one understanding of how the universe operates
2) something unattainable, much as finding an actual unified field theory has baffled scientists for decades
2) something unattainable, much as finding an actual unified field theory has baffled scientists for decades
Einstein spent the last two decades of his life trying to develop a unified field theory.
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Person 1: John keeps asking Sarah out, but she's not biting.
Person B: She's his unified field theory. Ain't gonna happen.
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Person 1: John keeps asking Sarah out, but she's not biting.
Person B: She's his unified field theory. Ain't gonna happen.
by ChuckChaser69 August 17, 2008

An event that causes the crotch area of your pants to split. Also, a story so funny it has the potential of making you laugh so hard that the crotch area of your pants might split.
Megan: So, my boyfriend, Will, who lives in the Palisades, split the crotch of his pants while test-riding his new bicycle. He's exposed. I'm sorry it's so funny, but I can't help it. Will doesn't understand why his crotchsplitter of a story is so funny.
Mike and Susan laugh uncontrollably, almost splitting their crotches.
Mike and Susan laugh uncontrollably, almost splitting their crotches.
by ChuckChaser69 July 7, 2009

An expression used to indicate that someone is making a big deal out of nothing. Stolen from a line of dialogue in a bad movie, Tommy Wiseau's "The Room".
Megan: So, Will. We need to talk. It may not be important to you, but the cap on a toothpaste tube should have a tight seal. If it does not, then bacteria can manifest itself in the paste, not to mention the cap coming off and squirting toothpaste onto my clothes.
Will: (holding his head in his hands and screaming) You're tearing me apart, Lisa!
Megan: Who's Lisa?
Will: (holding his head in his hands and screaming) You're tearing me apart, Lisa!
Megan: Who's Lisa?
by ChuckChaser69 June 22, 2009

The middle of the day. Between noon and 5pm. After lunch, but before the end of the work day. (The opposite of o dark thirty.)
by ChuckChaser69 October 30, 2008

The process of one person using his cell to call another person's cell, so that they each have the other's number.
Mike: Eric, give me your number so we can touch cocks.
Eric: Excuse me?
Mike: I'll call you so you have my number. I call it touching cocks. It's my thing.
Eric: That will never catch on.
Mike: Yes it will.
Eric: Excuse me?
Mike: I'll call you so you have my number. I call it touching cocks. It's my thing.
Eric: That will never catch on.
Mike: Yes it will.
by ChuckChaser69 December 19, 2010

The long version (of a story). So-named due to the fact that most Director's Cuts of films are longer, sometimes interminably so.
Johnny: So, it was just after 6, and we hadn't even gotten out of the house yet, since Jane wanted to catch the end of "So you think you can dance..."
Jim: Hey, can you skip to the good parts? We don't need the director's cut.
Jim: Hey, can you skip to the good parts? We don't need the director's cut.
by ChuckChaser69 November 3, 2009
