ChuckChaser69's definitions

No-J

someone who didn't do it, but is being pronounced guilty anyway. He is the opposite of OJ, who did it, but got off scott free.

That No-J was convicted of killing his family. But I think someone just snuck in and killed them while he slept. If you just killed your family, could you just go back to sleep?
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Jane needs to let her No-J boyfriend off the hook. Just because he has a hot co-worker doesn't mean they're doing it.

by ChuckChaser69 July 23, 2010

passport file

1. a file of private, important personal information on a person, kept by the government, that may be sought by others for use in discrediting you in your run for public office. This file was made famous during the 2008 presidential campaign.
2. personal information that could be held against you were it not secret.

1. All three candidates had their passport files breached, presumably for political reasons.
2. Jim, why are you giving me shit about this. Do you have something on me? Do you need to see my passport file? I got no skeletons.

by ChuckChaser69 March 22, 2008

falcon in the attic

When you are calling bullshit on someone, in essence saying you don't believe their incredible story. So named for the balloon boy story that ended with Falcon (the boy's name) having been hiding in the attic all day while rescue workers chased the balloon across the country.

Matt: So, I was at the bar last night, and I walked up to hit on this girl. She and her two female friends thought I was hilarious. We went back to my place and I fucked all three!

Mike: And you know what I heard? There's a falcon in the attic!

Matt: Huh?

by ChuckChaser69 March 25, 2010

director's cut

The long version (of a story). So-named due to the fact that most Director's Cuts of films are longer, sometimes interminably so.

Johnny: So, it was just after 6, and we hadn't even gotten out of the house yet, since Jane wanted to catch the end of "So you think you can dance..."

Jim: Hey, can you skip to the good parts? We don't need the director's cut.

by ChuckChaser69 November 3, 2009

Crash landing

One's reaction after popping in the rental dvd for what one believes to be "Crash", Paul Haggis's hard-edged but ultimately heart-warming commentary on race relations in Los Angeles (and, thus, the world), only to find that one has accidentally rented "Crash", David Cronenberg's controversial and sexually graphic film (based on JG Ballard's controversial book) about car-crash sexual fetishism.

Pa: Ma, I do believe that woman is completely nude, and being sodomized by that man.

Ma: Pa, I do believe you are not mistaken. Oh my. (faints)

Rod Serling: What we have just seen here is a most unfortunate Crash landing. One that has sent these two hick fucks...(wait for it)...into The Twilight Zone.

by ChuckChaser69 July 15, 2010

HR says 'no comment'

Saying, in essence, that you can't answer that question, since, to the Human Resources dept, it might qualify as sexual harassment to say what you really feel.

Them: So, Mike, I heard that the USTTA changed the size of ping pong balls. How big are YOUR balls? Heh heh.

Me: (smiling) HR says 'no comment'.
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Someone else at work: So, have you met Warren's new receptionist, Julie? What do you think about her?

Me: (smiling) HR says 'no comment'. (serious face) Seriously though, she seems competent.

by ChuckChaser69 July 4, 2010

biblical truth

Something one believes, for any of a number of reasons, that is hokey in its justification. This can be because it is in the bible, or because the information comes from the internet, and has not been confirmed in some real world setting.

Yeah, that's one of those biblical truths I keep hearing about. Do you just believe everything you read on the interweb?

by ChuckChaser69 September 10, 2010