retard quotes

These occur when people are too stupid to know how to make quotes on their keyboard correctly, using `` (the symbol to the left of the 1 on your keyboard) instead of ". Not to be confused with retard apostrophes, which is when people use ` instead of '. Both are very annoying because the correct quotes/apostrophe key can be easily found next to the fucking Enter key.
Why can't Jordan figure out how to type quotes properly instead of using retard quotes?
by Chernorizets Hrabr September 26, 2004
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Reise, Reise

Reise, Reise is the new Rammstein album. It includes such hit songs as "Mein Teil", "Amerika", and "Ohne Dich".
Reise, Reise is teh sehr guten
by Chernorizets Hrabr November 08, 2004
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Jersey Redneck

There are more Jersey Rednecks than you once believed!

Jersey rednecks typically dwell in backwood areas within Philadelphian surburbs, where there is still plenty of rural land for the blue collar folk. Almost every Jersey redneck owns a chevy pickup truck, which they park in their "driveway", which is not really a driveway but an area of their lawn in which grass isn't growing. Their front yards are home to various appliances and vehicles that no longer function, somehow finding their way there. Jersey rednecks love Marlboro cigarettes (because Newports are for "negroes" and Camels are for "A-rabs"), Skoal, Budweiser, Natural Ice and especially Keystone. The origins of their slow southern accent is mysterious, though speculation reveals that it is probably from listening to too much Lynyrd Skynyrd. Instead of "you guys" they will say "youz guys", and "tuh'marry" instead of "tomorrow". The Jersey redneck's idea of a dream vacation is a week-long trip to Wildwood.
No one thought hicks lived so far north until the Jersey redneck was discovered.
by Chernorizets Hrabr November 07, 2004
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Post-grunge

Music that killed grunge worse than a bullet to Kurt Cobain's head or Layne Staley's speedball overdose ever could. Post-grunge is a more mainstream version of grunge music, which seems a rather inoffensive thing at first, but contemporary acts such as Puddle of Mudd, Nickelback, Three Doors Down, Godsmack, Staind, Creed and Three Days Grace reveals the genre to be a parody of original grunge. Exaggerated attempts at singing like Eddie Vedder, predictable and formulatic song structures, and insincere angst with no artistic quality are characteristics of post-grunge.
(Listening to typical rock radio station)

Thomas: Hey, this kinda sounds like Alice in Chains, only the guitar sucks, the lyrics are trite, and the singer's vocal range is garbage.

Fred: Yeah, that's Godsmack, another post-grunge act.
by Chernorizets Hrabr December 14, 2007
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Clear Eyes

God's gift to stoners, delivered to us by Ben Stein. It gets the red out, so people think you're sober, but your friends know better! Also comes in small, easy-to-shoplift packaging so you can save some extra money for more hydro.
I tell people that the reason I keep Clear Eyes around is because typing essays on the computer irritates my eyes.
by Chernorizets Hrabr November 03, 2004
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emo

An entire subculture of people (usually angsty teens) with a fake personality. The concept of Emo is actually a vicious cycle that never ends, to the utter failing of humanity, and it goes something like this:

1. Girls say they like "sensitive guys" (lie)
2. Guy finds out, so he listens to faggy emo music and dresses like a dork so chicks will see that he is sensitive and not afraid to express himself (lie). He dyes his hair black, wraps himself in a stupid looking scarf, develops an eating disorder, and rants about how "nobody understands".
3. Now an emo guy, he meets Emo chick and they start dating, talking about how their well-off suburban lifestyles are terrible and depressing (lie)
4. Emo guy is just too much of a pussy. His penis is too small, he's too depressed to bathe, and has more mood swings than emo chick, and he doesn't even have a menstrual cycle. Emo chick dumps him, saying "It's not you, it's me." (lie) as she drives off with Wayne, the school jock and captain of the football team.
5. Emo guy goes home and cries, proceeds to write a weak song and strum a single string on his acoustic guitar. Another emo chick sees how he is so in touch with his feelings, and the cycle continues.

This is the sad truth of the emo lifestyle/music, and now that I look at how pathetic it really is, maybe the emos DO have something to cry about!
When she sees how sensitive and emo I have become, she'll definately go out with me!
by Chernorizets Hrabr January 11, 2005
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american football

A sport played chiefly in the United States that requires more strength, speed, toughness, memorization, and training than any other sport... but is still boring as shit to watch. As big of a challenge to play as it is to sit through as a spectator.
Football Retard: American Football is the greatest sport ever because it's harder hitting than rugby! Europeans aren't as strong as Americans, so they play soccer!

Non-Boring Person: True, but soccer and rugby are also physically demanding and 10x better spectator sports that don't have constant anti-climactic stoppages in play, so nobody cares.
by Chernorizets Hrabr October 10, 2007
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