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Capuchin for Hire's definitions

Turd Spawn

When a dude manages to find a monster shit in a public restroom and records it for laughs but it ends up getting the attention of paleontologist who think they can replicate the living organism that birthed the atrocity in a lab. Such organism is known as a turd spawn..
Jeff: Yo you see that instagram video of that monster shit?!
Kyle: Yea apparently they think an elusive cretaceous animal layed it now they are trying to revive a replica with it.
Jeff: Sounds like a Turd Spawn.
by Capuchin for Hire October 1, 2023
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fourth-dimensional vampire

A fourth-dimensional vampire is someone who lives in a different timeline and only seeks to further their agenda, often times only appearing to vibe check unsuspecting people engaged in a different activity.
Derek:"Dam I can't believe Steven just dropped by to laugh at me playing cards at the local casino."
Josh: "Doesn't that dude have gremlins now? I haven't seen him since we graduated highschool 10 years back."
Derek:" Yea he hasn't changed much, he really is a fourth-dimensional vampire."
by Capuchin for Hire June 20, 2021
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When the air is dry

A reply typically given to someone anticipating your next move ;implying that you will only perform at your most optimal level when everything has come to a standstill from the ensuing shitstorm.
Person 1: "Ready to climb devil's canyon?"
Person 2: "When the air is dry."
by Capuchin for Hire December 15, 2021
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Playing chess with the poltergeist

When you stay up during the witching hours playing chess by yourself because everyone is sleeping or far away from the scope of control.
Person 1: "sorry man i cant stay up any longer, i'm too tired."
Person 2: It's ok, i'll be staying up Playing chess with the poltergeist That'll keep me busy."
by Capuchin for Hire March 30, 2022
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Plebian Repossession

The idiots in New York who try to lay claim public property along their house such as the parking space curb outside their property line. Plebian Repossession is king in Staten Island and it has begun its plague to neighboring boroughs like Queens. Most Plebian Repossessions are enforced with the use of a cone,but are not legally allowed. Those with audacity will call the the tow truck who is just as smug so be vigilant of your car when it's on public property in danger of Plebian Repossession.
Josh: Yo I parked outside the driver on the curb next to this house and these clowns took my car!
Jake: Plebian Repossession bro, the curb is public property and the house owner probably called it.
Josh: Why the fuck they doing this in Queens?!
Jake: It's those Staten Islanders bro, they treat unspoken rules like Legal. Now it spread like some social disease!
by Capuchin for Hire October 1, 2023
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Ionized potato

A cheap cellphone with a pixalated image.
Person 1: "dam rodger keeps sending crappy videos, i cant make out shit."
Person 2: " Yea, he keeps sending those videos from his ionized potato, it's a nokia brick.
by Capuchin for Hire March 19, 2022
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Tranqbuzzer

An alarm clock you setup as a failsafe after a night of self-bargaining with sedatives so you can get deep sleep without going overboard.
Person 1: "Man how do you keep waking up on time?"
Person 2:" I used my tranqbuzzer, i really dont want to be here."
by Capuchin for Hire March 24, 2022
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