Cap'n Bullmoose's definitions
In the Big Rock Candy Mountain,
There's a land that's fair and bright,
Where the handouts grow on bushes
And you sleep out every night.
The shacks all have to tip their hats and the railroad bulls are blind...
There's a land that's fair and bright,
Where the handouts grow on bushes
And you sleep out every night.
The shacks all have to tip their hats and the railroad bulls are blind...
by Cap'n Bullmoose April 23, 2005
Get the shack mug.by Cap'n Bullmoose April 23, 2005
Get the Italian dinner jacket mug.The mating call of the corn holing faggot.
When one poofter hears another one fart, he responds, either with a fart of his own or verbally.
Rowdy Texas poofters call out "Chow Time!"
High-class poofters say, "Dinner Call!"
When one poofter hears another one fart, he responds, either with a fart of his own or verbally.
Rowdy Texas poofters call out "Chow Time!"
High-class poofters say, "Dinner Call!"
Not wanting to waste a lot of time talking, Armistead traipsed into a gay bar, lifted his leg a trifle, and blasted out a tremendous fart. The stentorian trumpet call echoed through the room and drew many approving glances.
Tex hollered "Hot damn! He's brought out the big guns!"
Lemony minced over to Armistead, bent over, and spoke sweet words to his arse:
Hail to thee, blithe Spirit!
Bird thou never wert
That from Heaven, or near it,
Pourest thy full heart
In profuse strains of unpremeditated art.
He inhaled through his nose, loud and long, then continued,
Like a rose embowered
In its own green leaves,
By warm winds deflowered,
Till the scent it gives.
"You'll do fine," said Armistead as he took Lemony's fluttering wrist and escorted him from the bar.
Tex hollered "Hot damn! He's brought out the big guns!"
Lemony minced over to Armistead, bent over, and spoke sweet words to his arse:
Hail to thee, blithe Spirit!
Bird thou never wert
That from Heaven, or near it,
Pourest thy full heart
In profuse strains of unpremeditated art.
He inhaled through his nose, loud and long, then continued,
Like a rose embowered
In its own green leaves,
By warm winds deflowered,
Till the scent it gives.
"You'll do fine," said Armistead as he took Lemony's fluttering wrist and escorted him from the bar.
by Cap'n Bullmoose November 11, 2006
Get the fart mug.Public Transportation in many cities is a rolling crime wave. Muggers, Crips, Bloods, Pachucos, Hip Hop assholes, Gangstas, A-Rabs, and other criminals ride public transportation with their ghetto blasters blaring. They challenge honest working stiffs, force them to stand, steal their money, and make them listen to evil Hip Hop "music."
by Cap'n Bullmoose October 9, 2007
Get the Public Transportation mug.All good effeminate liberals call bums homeless. By doing this, they can can whine, "Oh, let's all help the homeless," just like the people of San Francisco. They said let's build homes and put all the homeless people inside them. Then nobody will be homeless. Ooh, aren't we good liberals? Barack O'Bama will love us!
So the liberals built homes. Then they went out on the streets and collected all the bums and put them in the homes. See, no more homeless!
Now, the San Francisco coppers have discovered that all those people on the streets who piss on the sidewalk and shit in the gutter and throw muscatel bottles on your front porch have addresses. They aren't homeless.
See, aren't those San Francisco liberals nice? They've spent over 100 million taxpayer dollars, but there are no more homeless people in San Francisco!
Just bums.
So the liberals built homes. Then they went out on the streets and collected all the bums and put them in the homes. See, no more homeless!
Now, the San Francisco coppers have discovered that all those people on the streets who piss on the sidewalk and shit in the gutter and throw muscatel bottles on your front porch have addresses. They aren't homeless.
See, aren't those San Francisco liberals nice? They've spent over 100 million taxpayer dollars, but there are no more homeless people in San Francisco!
Just bums.
by Cap'n Bullmoose October 16, 2008
Get the homeless mug.An automotive transmission built for people who don't know how to shift gears, such as old granny ladies, mush wimps, effeminate males, soccer moms, and yuppie twits. This transmission has no clutch, and uses a torque converter.
People who don't know how to drive get stooge-o-matic transmissions, and therefore never learn how to drive. They put their brakes on for random cosmic events. They put their brakes on going down hills. You should see all the pantywaist stooge-o-matic drivers with burnt-out brakes on the roads in the Rocky Mountains!
People who don't know how to drive get stooge-o-matic transmissions, and therefore never learn how to drive. They put their brakes on for random cosmic events. They put their brakes on going down hills. You should see all the pantywaist stooge-o-matic drivers with burnt-out brakes on the roads in the Rocky Mountains!
by Cap'n Bullmoose April 20, 2005
Get the stooge-o-matic transmission mug.by Cap'n Bullmoose October 8, 2007
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