A simp, but to a huge degree. Millennial or Zoomer who thinks he can nice guy his way into women’s pants, then gets all enraged when it doesn’t work because woman don’t actually like simps. The simpanzee is significantly worse than a simp in degree.
Look at my man buying his “best female friend” dinner again so he can not close with her. My man is a simpanzee.
by CPT Ron July 21, 2024
Get the Simpanzee mug.by CPT Ron October 07, 2019
Get the Exdubitably mug.This is a military term for aligning yourself in formation with the person in front of you, so that when viewed from the front of a formation you all are covered and aligned correctly.
In the vernacular, to cover down means to get someone's back when they fuck up.
Example: "Where is Jones, why isn't he here?"
"He's at dental sergeant."
That's covering down.
In the vernacular, to cover down means to get someone's back when they fuck up.
Example: "Where is Jones, why isn't he here?"
"He's at dental sergeant."
That's covering down.
When your wife drinks too much, you cover down on that shit, hold her hair out of the toilet, and tell nobody about it.
by CPT Ron May 25, 2020
Get the Cover Down mug.Noun. When you find a concept that a person who is brilliant wrote, that you don't understand. You open the wikipedia article about that concept, and open tabs in your browser for all of the links in that wikipedia article that you also don't understand. Eventually, you have 25 tabs open and you hit the terminal point where you understand, then you work your way backwards through the other 24 tabs until you understand it all. Choose your own adventure books were books that had many possible endings depending on the pages you chose. They were entertainment circa 1985.
How does MD5 hashing work? It uses one way functions...How do one way functions work? Uh oh, time for a wikipedia choose your own adventure.
by CPT Ron November 14, 2017
Get the wikipedia choose your own adventure mug.A tool box with matching power douche accessories is the most egregious form of tool. If a tool is a common douche-bag, and a tool box is where tons of tools go, then a tool box with matching power douche accessories is the apex predator of douches.
This person would be the megalodon of douche, the Elvis of douchebaggery, or the Mount Everest of douche. In the SCUBA diving world this person would be the Andrea Doria of douche. In rock climbing, this person would be the 5.15a of douche. In cycling, this person would be the Tour De Douche, except that he would have both testicles. In Kalifornia, this person would be the Nancy Pelosi of douche. In the hand gun world, this person would be the Desert Eagle of douche...a douche that is completely unlike other douches to an almost comical, unnecessary degree.
HISTORY OF THE PHRASE:
Cliffy, a Sergeant in my unit in 3rd Infantry Division, referred to our commander (he who shall not be named) as a tool box with matching power douche accessories one time. We all instantly recognized the gravity of the phrase. Like the Tarrasque in Dungeons and Dragons, there can typically only be one tool box with matching power douche accessories in the world at any given point. According to legend, the tool box with matching power douche accessories may take on an apprentice tool box, and upon his death the apprentice will then gain the douche prowess of the then deceased tool box with matching power douche accessories.
This person would be the megalodon of douche, the Elvis of douchebaggery, or the Mount Everest of douche. In the SCUBA diving world this person would be the Andrea Doria of douche. In rock climbing, this person would be the 5.15a of douche. In cycling, this person would be the Tour De Douche, except that he would have both testicles. In Kalifornia, this person would be the Nancy Pelosi of douche. In the hand gun world, this person would be the Desert Eagle of douche...a douche that is completely unlike other douches to an almost comical, unnecessary degree.
HISTORY OF THE PHRASE:
Cliffy, a Sergeant in my unit in 3rd Infantry Division, referred to our commander (he who shall not be named) as a tool box with matching power douche accessories one time. We all instantly recognized the gravity of the phrase. Like the Tarrasque in Dungeons and Dragons, there can typically only be one tool box with matching power douche accessories in the world at any given point. According to legend, the tool box with matching power douche accessories may take on an apprentice tool box, and upon his death the apprentice will then gain the douche prowess of the then deceased tool box with matching power douche accessories.
"Man, our boss is the worse example of douchebaggery that I have ever witnessed in all my years in the military. He is a tool box with matching power douche accessories."
-Cliffy
-Cliffy
by CPT Ron April 30, 2013
Get the Tool box with matching power douche accessories mug.When you screw something up so badly in front of so many people, that you wish you were being pre-recorded on TV so you could ask the technical staff to literally "cut to commercial break." The cut to commercial break indicates that you have achieved an Xbox like screw up. If you were in a video game, the achievement "Worst thing you've done this year" would indicate below you on screen.
I had a savage, throbbing boner during my job interview yesterday. When I stood up, it kinked in my pants like a broken candy bar and I know the hiring manager saw it. I really wished I could have cut to commercial break. I could hear him telling his buddy I must be "fun sized" on the way out of the lobby.
by CPT Ron July 20, 2020
Get the Cut to Commercial Break mug.A dunkaroo is a sexual maneuver whereby a male of the species holds a woman of the species firmly by the hair. The male then penetrates said female anally for a undetermined period of time. The male then, while keeping control of the hair (this is important), scampers around the side of the women and places his penis in the woman's mouth while making a stirring motion with his hips. This is the dunkaroo.
"Do you see that filthy hosebeast over there by the keg? Last month at the Halloween party I dressed up like a kangaroo and did the dunkaroo on her. She got that booty mouth while dressed like a slutty Tinkerbell."
by CPT Ron February 17, 2021
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