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Jesse

Jesse is the sweetest guy with the biggest- yeah I'm not doing one of those definitions. Instead, I will do two on a couple of popular fictional characters from completely separate franchises.
1: Jesse Bruce Pinkman is a character from Breaking Bad, and he served as protagonist alongside Walter Hartwell White. He is portrayed by Aaron Paul. He worked as a large time meth cook and got enslaved for 6 months. He escaped and went into hiding in Alaska.
2: CT-5597, nicknamed "Jesse" was an ARC Lieutenant serving in the Grand Army of the Republic. He was cloned from the DNA of Mandalorian bounty hunter Jango Fett, and was born on Kamino, like every other clone. He was part of the 501st Battalion led by Jedi General Anakin Skywalker and Clone Commander CT-7567 "Rex". His last battle was the Seige of Mandalore, led by former Jedi Commander and advisor Ahsoka Tano and former Death Watch warrior Bo Katan Kryze. He died on a Republic Venator over an unknown moon whilst trying to execute Commander Tano and Commander Rex under the effects of an inhibitor chip present in every clone brain. Many Star Wars fans know this as "Order 66".
1: The shit that Jesse cooks is the shit yo!
2: Clone ARC Lieutenant Jesse, an Advanced Recon Commando, unfortunately died trying to kill Ahsoka and Rex. Like most clones, he sadly lived up to 19BBY and experienced Order 66, a tragic event that almost wiped out the Jedi.
by CC-8826 August 25, 2023
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The tragedy of Darth Plagueis the wise

an ironic story the jedi would not tell you
"Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth Plagueis the Wise?"
"No."
"I thought not. It's not a story the Jedi would tell you. It's a Sith legend. Darth Plagueis... was a Dark Lord of The Sith, so powerful and so wise, he could use the Force to influence the midi-chlorians... to create... life. He had such a knowledge of the dark side, he could even keep the ones he cared about... from dying."
"He could actually... save people from death?"
"The dark side of the Force is a pathway to many abilities... some consider to be unnatural."
"Wh- What happened to him?"
"He became so powerful, the only thing he was afraid of was... losing his power. Which eventually, of course, he did. Unfortunately, he taught his apprentice everything he knew. Then his apprentice killed him in in sleep. Ironic. He could save others from death, but not himself."
"Is it possible to learn this power?"
"Not from a Jedi."
by CC-8826 August 19, 2022
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Jedi Council

The Jedi Council was the governing body of the Jedi Order, consisting of 12 masters. The entire council were dicks (except for Obi-Wan, Yoda, Plo, and later Anakin). Mace Windu was the biggest asshole of them all, not even apologizing to Ahsoka and later calling her a citizen. He was also unsympathetic towards Boba Fett, whom he'd practically orphaned. The rest of the Jedi Masters just followed his example, and led the entire Order to be hated galaxy-wide, viewed as being no better than the Sith.

Put simply, the Jedi Council were (mostly) assholes.
damn bitch, why the jedi council such dicks 😭😭😭
-ahsoka or anakin, probably
by CC-8826 October 20, 2023
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ASMR

ASMR (Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response) is a sensation where you get tingles in the scalp from hearing something nice. Normally it's girls slurping and whispering into the mic whilst making other weird noises like fingernail tapping and shit. However, that is not ASMR and in most cases, mildly soft core porn. What I call ASMR is the ones by a certain spiderman impersonator, known as Spiderman ASMR. He has the absolute shittiest mic on earth and bangs it with a metal tray being scratched by a fork, scratches the mic with a grater, and even screams sometimes. He somehow manages to pull it off and actually cause the sensation though.
1: I like ASMR.

2: What's wrong with you, listening to audible porn?

1: No, I listen to spiderman banging a frying pan on a shitty mic and throwing it on floor. It's really good, try it!
by CC-8826 October 2, 2023
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Breakfast

The first meal in the morning. It can be anything, ranging from the classic "Wakey wakey, eggs and bakey" to raisin bran. It's Walter Hartwell White Jr.'s favourite meal, and upon not receiving breakfast, the person responsible for making it will be mauled
Flynn loves breakfast.
by CC-8826 August 25, 2023
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Water

Best drink out there. Refreshing, keeps you hydrated, you can have it anytime, anywhere (anytime, anywhere in most cases). Better than lean, juice, soda, tea (any kind), or coffee. Try some, it's good.
1: Want some lean?

2: Nah, I'm good.

1: Soda?

2: No thanks.

1: Juice?

2: No, I'm good.

1: So what will you drink? Coffee tastes like shit, and don't get me started on tea.

2: Water.

1: But it has no taste!

2: So? Animals did this all the time. Water keeps me refreshed and hydrated. Try some, it's the better beverage.

Remember to drink water kids. And don't do lean.
by CC-8826 September 24, 2023
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Anime

Anime is a Japanese animation. That's it. Typically, it has loud, flashy openings, and characters have large ass eyes, spiky hair if male, brightly coloured hair, and normally have very attractive body parts, being very muscular if he is male, and he can be as young as 13, or having unusually large thighs and breasts if female, and can also be as young as 13.

How voice actors speak is usually very different to how normal Japanese citizens speak their language. It is often very, very exaggerated.
Anime usually hook people in and get them addicted, and I can see why. Most shows are pretty good, but it can also totally destroy you and make yourself one of weirdest creatures on earth.

A simple person who only enjoys watching anime but doesn't let it corrupt them may be called a weeb. However, one who has a serious addiction, loves collecting Japanese items such as weapons, keeps lots of merchandise such as bodypillows and figures, and loves cosplaying could be called a weeaboo.

Weeaboos are one of the fucking most obnoxious things to ever crawl the earth.
I myself have learnt all of this the hard way. At one point, I was a weeaboo, except I haven't got to the the later stages. I later quit anime entirely because I realised how weird it was and how weird it made me, and also, I simple got bored of it.

I advise all who read this definition to never watch anime, and if you already do, I advise you to stop. It's not worth it.
If you enter a weeaboo's room, you will find many unusual items. This includes, but is jot limited to:
Figurines
Bodypillows
Katanas
Costumes
Various other anime merchandise including clothes, blankets, pillows, duvets, wallpapers, etc.
You can find these creatures donning glasses, neckbeards, or a shit-ton of fat. They may also try to communicate in Japanese. They also smell like shit.
Please, my brothers and sisters, do not watch anime, for your sake. Thank you.
by CC-8826 August 8, 2023
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