Calico Smingsmangs

A variation of the brutal sexually transmitted disease (Smingsmangs) where the functions of the vagina and the anus trade places without physically moving.
Nancy: "Wow Peggy, you have quite a robust queef!"
Peggy: "I would love to take credit for that, but it is actually gas escaping from my rectum. I caught the Calico Smingsmangs while serving time in Vietnam and all of my feces have been oozing from my vagina ever since."
by CATFOOODS January 29, 2012
mugGet the Calico Smingsmangsmug.

Taxidinker

A taxidermy penis of an animal used as a dildo for sexual activities.

Taxidinkers are commonly made from exotic animals such as bears, horses, and dalmatians.
Robert: "Mom laid the cow penis on the kitchen counter when she was cooking last night instead of throwing it out. Yuck!"
Billy: "Butchers don't give you the penis, Robert... That sounds like a taxidinker if you ask me. Your mom is hot."
Robert: "Shut up, Dad!"
by CATFOOODS January 29, 2012
mugGet the Taxidinkermug.

Swahili Chandelier

A sexual technique where a male thrusts his penis through the gauged/stretched earlobes (or any other stretched piercing) of another person.
"My earlobes were stretched to 00 before Randy tried to Swahili Chandelier me. Now I'm at 1" and sport a blowout."
by CATFOOODS January 29, 2012
mugGet the Swahili Chandeliermug.

Mookie Stamps

The marks left behind when an individual delicately presses one's anus against a surface or another person after passing a bowel movement without wiping.
Tyler: "I am never inviting Grandpa over for dinner again. He left mookie stamps all over my bedroom! And where's the dog?!"
by CATFOOODS January 29, 2012
mugGet the Mookie Stampsmug.

Glitter Fish

A bowel movement that has been left in the toilet and covered in glitter to create the illusion of a radiant and glamorous fish.
Sandra: "Aw man, I thought I found jewelry in the toilet again but my brother just left a glitter fish floating around."
by CATFOOODS January 29, 2012
mugGet the Glitter Fishmug.

Tuna Drops

Putrid smelling mud monkeys/bowel movements that slide out like slippery fish after eating nothing but a bounty of seafood for a week. The odor is often so foul that victims mistakenly find the smell delightful and immediately develop mercury poisoning.
Jake: "Dude, don't go in the bathroom for a while. I just had the gnarliest tuna drops."
Sam: "I'm hungry."
by CATFOOODS January 29, 2012
mugGet the Tuna Dropsmug.

Tip Splitter

When an item is jammed so deep and hard into a man's urethra that the opening rips, making the penis look like a snake's tongue.
Roger: "Damn son, your piss is spraying everywhere! You wearing a fan spray nozzle on your weiner or something?"
Jim: "Nah dude, I fell dick first on a screwdriver last night and it gave me a tip splitter."
by CATFOOODS February 11, 2012
mugGet the Tip Splittermug.