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CATFOOODS's definitions

Anaconda Kiss

The moment when a male passes a bowel movement so long that it slaps his scrotum on the way down. It is often necessary that the male stand up in order to accomodate the impressive length and properly birth the entire fecal celebration.
Lance: "What is that brown smudge on the back of your balls?"
Mark: "That's an Anaconda Kiss. I took a dump so huge that I got a free high-five after cutting it with my powerful sphincter."
by CATFOOODS September 3, 2013
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Calico Smingsmangs

A variation of the brutal sexually transmitted disease (Smingsmangs) where the functions of the vagina and the anus trade places without physically moving.
Nancy: "Wow Peggy, you have quite a robust queef!"
Peggy: "I would love to take credit for that, but it is actually gas escaping from my rectum. I caught the Calico Smingsmangs while serving time in Vietnam and all of my feces have been oozing from my vagina ever since."
by CATFOOODS January 29, 2012
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Swahili Chandelier

A sexual technique where a male thrusts his penis through the gauged/stretched earlobes (or any other stretched piercing) of another person.
"My earlobes were stretched to 00 before Randy tried to Swahili Chandelier me. Now I'm at 1" and sport a blowout."
by CATFOOODS January 29, 2012
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Taxidinker

A taxidermy penis of an animal used as a dildo for sexual activities.

Taxidinkers are commonly made from exotic animals such as bears, horses, and dalmatians.
Robert: "Mom laid the cow penis on the kitchen counter when she was cooking last night instead of throwing it out. Yuck!"
Billy: "Butchers don't give you the penis, Robert... That sounds like a taxidinker if you ask me. Your mom is hot."
Robert: "Shut up, Dad!"
by CATFOOODS January 29, 2012
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Tuna Drops

Putrid smelling mud monkeys/bowel movements that slide out like slippery fish after eating nothing but a bounty of seafood for a week. The odor is often so foul that victims mistakenly find the smell delightful and immediately develop mercury poisoning.
Jake: "Dude, don't go in the bathroom for a while. I just had the gnarliest tuna drops."
Sam: "I'm hungry."
by CATFOOODS January 29, 2012
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Smegmatician

A connoisseur of smegma who is very skilled in identifying, producing, and harvesting the delicious substance.
Tony: "This wine is bland."
Justin: "Good thing you are in the presence of a smegmatician! I have the perfect fresh smegma to pair with this bottle."
by CATFOOODS January 29, 2012
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Mookie Stamps

The marks left behind when an individual delicately presses one's anus against a surface or another person after passing a bowel movement without wiping.
Tyler: "I am never inviting Grandpa over for dinner again. He left mookie stamps all over my bedroom! And where's the dog?!"
by CATFOOODS January 29, 2012
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