Dolphins, killer whales, and penguins.
Sometimes silly humans think they are dolphins too, and eat nothing but fish and plants, sometimes flopping deep into the ocean to hunt for food, but getting gnawed apart by a hungry school of sharks instead.
Sometimes silly humans think they are dolphins too, and eat nothing but fish and plants, sometimes flopping deep into the ocean to hunt for food, but getting gnawed apart by a hungry school of sharks instead.
Yeah, Danny thought he was a pescetarian, so he jumped off the cruise ship to look for food, but then a great white ate him!
by C Tan November 14, 2007

Something that racial-fascists are sensitive to. Whiny minorities fail to realize that they themselves maintain ethnic barriers, due to their chronic bitching about offensive racial jibes. Taking stereotypes too seriously just draws more clear boundaries between ethnic groups.
News reporter: Highway traffic crawled down to 25 mph today after several Asian street racers induced a severe automobile logjam at the Route 15 off ramp due to bad driving. Wait, we have a caller.
Sensitive Asian Anonymous Caller #1: Yu lacist plick!
Sensitive Asian Anonymous Caller #2: Rook! Don't pray onto our stereotypes. We people, nawt stah-tis-tick!
Sensitive Asian Anonymous Caller #1: Yu lacist plick!
Sensitive Asian Anonymous Caller #2: Rook! Don't pray onto our stereotypes. We people, nawt stah-tis-tick!
by C Tan December 28, 2005

A course lecturing in the virtues of yellow supremacy, and the delusional outlook on how life would be if orientals had ruled the world. "Asian Studies" majors are typically very whiny about the lack of opportunities of the socially inept Asian male, and the objectification and "theft" of "their women".
Exceptions from the stereotyped zipperhead students, are creepy white guys who have malnourished preteens chained at his kitchen to cook his meals, and "culturally enlightened" folk who congregate together at StarBucks in order to agree on opening new coffee shop chains to preach their "postmodernist" virtues.
Exceptions from the stereotyped zipperhead students, are creepy white guys who have malnourished preteens chained at his kitchen to cook his meals, and "culturally enlightened" folk who congregate together at StarBucks in order to agree on opening new coffee shop chains to preach their "postmodernist" virtues.
Asian Studies Major: Look at me, I scrog self-hating, rice-eatin' chicks with a hyperplatinum credit rating on my Premium Wells Fargo account! Don't fuck with me, nor point out my obvious social insecurities less I drop a six-figure income onto your ass!
by C Tan November 13, 2005

Charter Communications Marketing Plan:
1. Find a former-hick community, say, Sparks, Nevada that is rapidly growing technologically.
2. Buy up all the rights to the cable lines within the new housing complexes in construction, and make those cable lines available only to Charter only.
3. When new owners of a home move in, bombard their mailbox with faster internet service ads.
4. Provide the service, seemingly superior in speed and reliability compared to their nonexistent competitors at first, but then after the first week, totally flips out, and has long downtimes and ignorant customer support reps that love to talk back against angry customers.
5. When customer opts out of the service, remind them that they need to pay a $200+ separation fee because their first month is not up, and not even the first 2 years of their contract.
6. When customer REALLY WANTS OUT, then remind him or her that their ass still belongs to Charter, and theres no other alternative except a slower and still just as unreliable ClearWire Wi-Fi broadband in the neighborhood.
7. When customer threatens to sue, Charter pays electric company to cut off all power, except for a few D-Batteries to power a portable TV connected to a portable VHS player, reminding them that they can stop this by switching back.
8. Don't provide them any service anyways, and bill them $4000 a month in retaliation for their lifetimes. Also armed guards patrol the outside of their doors at all times, with rottweilers bred for the taste of human flesh drooling on the windows.
1. Find a former-hick community, say, Sparks, Nevada that is rapidly growing technologically.
2. Buy up all the rights to the cable lines within the new housing complexes in construction, and make those cable lines available only to Charter only.
3. When new owners of a home move in, bombard their mailbox with faster internet service ads.
4. Provide the service, seemingly superior in speed and reliability compared to their nonexistent competitors at first, but then after the first week, totally flips out, and has long downtimes and ignorant customer support reps that love to talk back against angry customers.
5. When customer opts out of the service, remind them that they need to pay a $200+ separation fee because their first month is not up, and not even the first 2 years of their contract.
6. When customer REALLY WANTS OUT, then remind him or her that their ass still belongs to Charter, and theres no other alternative except a slower and still just as unreliable ClearWire Wi-Fi broadband in the neighborhood.
7. When customer threatens to sue, Charter pays electric company to cut off all power, except for a few D-Batteries to power a portable TV connected to a portable VHS player, reminding them that they can stop this by switching back.
8. Don't provide them any service anyways, and bill them $4000 a month in retaliation for their lifetimes. Also armed guards patrol the outside of their doors at all times, with rottweilers bred for the taste of human flesh drooling on the windows.
by C Tan November 04, 2007

Idol of impressionable computer geeks everywhere.
For any pimply, pasty nerd thats too chickenshit to go get the mail outside because the deadly solar rays reflected by the moon will burn their skin like dried straw, they look to the Great Overlord Maddox as their guidance.
According to the teachings of the Great Maddox:
1. All computer nerds love Tabasco Sauce, because subjecting your tastebuds to a food condiment that'll singe the fuck out of your tastebuds is the best way to prove that your too fucking macho for your less macho peers. The testosterone increase from the burning pain will give you the balls you need to log back on IRC chat and give your online opponents a sound verbal thrashing, perhaps causing your nerdy rival to shoot himself in front of his webcam.
2. All computer nerds must routinely beat their women to reaffirm that they are the head of the house, and her main man. Doesn't really apply though, because computer nerds will remain virgins forever.
3. All computer nerds do what they want and feel. If a nerd does not want to go outside to Gold's Gym to do some bench presses or run on the treadmill, they don't have to! If a nerd doesn't want to lose weight, and just keep packing on some more weight from hot pockets, Pocky brand wood sticks, and root beer, he doesn't have to!
For any pimply, pasty nerd thats too chickenshit to go get the mail outside because the deadly solar rays reflected by the moon will burn their skin like dried straw, they look to the Great Overlord Maddox as their guidance.
According to the teachings of the Great Maddox:
1. All computer nerds love Tabasco Sauce, because subjecting your tastebuds to a food condiment that'll singe the fuck out of your tastebuds is the best way to prove that your too fucking macho for your less macho peers. The testosterone increase from the burning pain will give you the balls you need to log back on IRC chat and give your online opponents a sound verbal thrashing, perhaps causing your nerdy rival to shoot himself in front of his webcam.
2. All computer nerds must routinely beat their women to reaffirm that they are the head of the house, and her main man. Doesn't really apply though, because computer nerds will remain virgins forever.
3. All computer nerds do what they want and feel. If a nerd does not want to go outside to Gold's Gym to do some bench presses or run on the treadmill, they don't have to! If a nerd doesn't want to lose weight, and just keep packing on some more weight from hot pockets, Pocky brand wood sticks, and root beer, he doesn't have to!
Maddox isn't your role model and god. Fucking go outside and do something with your life. If you are any sort of a real man, you should be able to think independently rather than copycatting another loser.
Or you can just perceive Maddox's Best Page In The Universe as very clever satire of common misconceptions of manliness and machoism.
Maddox basically states that "men":
1. Are always insecure about their sexuality, and hates fags because of that.
2. Do stupid thinks to make people think they're really "men".
3. Engage in random acts of violence from testosterone poisoning.
4. Own an entire harem of expendable wives.
Or you can just perceive Maddox's Best Page In The Universe as very clever satire of common misconceptions of manliness and machoism.
Maddox basically states that "men":
1. Are always insecure about their sexuality, and hates fags because of that.
2. Do stupid thinks to make people think they're really "men".
3. Engage in random acts of violence from testosterone poisoning.
4. Own an entire harem of expendable wives.
by C Tan November 16, 2007

To be hit by a elbow, also known as the "chicken wing slap". Harder to deliver, as it requires your opponent to be behind you, but more effective than a punch, since your wrist would twist slightly as your fist connected, reducing the overall force exerted. A elbow can be delivered quicker, so it hurts more, often with a quick jolt of your shoulders.
Chicken winging somebody in front of you is not advised.
Chicken winging somebody in front of you is not advised.
After this chollo slapped my head against a paper-thin aluminin locker, I chicken winged him off my back and stomped his teeth in.
by C Tan October 29, 2005

People who WILL rule the world, and WILL become idol figures of society. Why? Because even if they are unskilled dolts, they have something you pimply-faced squibs don't have, charisma.
Charisma is the magnetic attraction that makes populars, popular. You can flaunt your overpriced cheesy college education however you like, but once the popular enters the scene, his sheer dead-sexiness will acquire him that management job, cutting the floor beneath your pasty ass. They are natural leaders, you are not.
If you can't become a popular based on your looks and desirable personality, there's always a faster and more effective way, being a bully. They'll think twice before they cross your line-of-sight again.
Charisma is the magnetic attraction that makes populars, popular. You can flaunt your overpriced cheesy college education however you like, but once the popular enters the scene, his sheer dead-sexiness will acquire him that management job, cutting the floor beneath your pasty ass. They are natural leaders, you are not.
If you can't become a popular based on your looks and desirable personality, there's always a faster and more effective way, being a bully. They'll think twice before they cross your line-of-sight again.
Hot-legged Office Secretary: Well Mr. Wong, everything seems to be in order here.
Socially Inept Geek: And may I inquire you to have a personal appointment with me at the annual Californian Astrocon Cosplay Convention? Wear spandex *wink* *wink*
Hot-legged Office Secretary: Security!
20 Minutes Later, candidate for interview #34 shows up
Ex-high school popular: Duhm, do you have an application?
Hot-legged Office Secretary: How about I invite you into a steamy 30 minute session of casual office sex?
Ex-high school popular: Life has never been so easy! Out of the way nerd!
He kicks the unconcious Socially Inept Geek aside, pushes all of the office items off the desk and closes the door
Socially Inept Geek: And may I inquire you to have a personal appointment with me at the annual Californian Astrocon Cosplay Convention? Wear spandex *wink* *wink*
Hot-legged Office Secretary: Security!
20 Minutes Later, candidate for interview #34 shows up
Ex-high school popular: Duhm, do you have an application?
Hot-legged Office Secretary: How about I invite you into a steamy 30 minute session of casual office sex?
Ex-high school popular: Life has never been so easy! Out of the way nerd!
He kicks the unconcious Socially Inept Geek aside, pushes all of the office items off the desk and closes the door
by C Tan December 28, 2005
