Brucester's definitions

indirect fart

Draconian punishment for the fussy girfriend who keeps complaining about your unavoidabe flatulence, and who keeps escaping when you try to hold her head under the blanket.

A rich fart is released silently into your hand, you expell all air from your lungs then breath in the fart from your closed hand. You now make an amorous approach and breath the fart into her face / mouth as you kiss her. This will cure the problem as she WILL leave you. Failing this you repeat the procedure but first you bite strips of of your fingernails and wedge them between your teeth - an "indirect fart with nails"

I gave her an indirect fart

by Brucester September 10, 2006

tarahted

Impressively knackered or broken.

1. I'll give it a miss, I'm feeling totally tarahted

2. Well I might as well bin it now, you've completely tarahted it.

3. Have you seen what those chavs have done to the bus stop - it's completely tarahted.

by Brucester September 10, 2006

piss pasty

Used disposable nappy. Once folded into place with the velcrow wings secured it resembles a product from the Ginsters range.

While you're up their would you empty the nappy bin - it's
solid with 'piss pastys'

by Brucester September 10, 2006

jap skewed

Farting technique. You have a really great girlfriend who you want to keep, but she keeps feeding you onions which are giving you massive flatulence. Your relationship hasn't developed well enough for you to grout in her presence so........as a massive bubble drops into place you
pull your anus sideways with your index finger commuting your fart from the obvious to an unexplained fffffff noise.

She was a right bobby dazzeler and sod's law I had a massive
shit gas attack, but I 'jap skewed' them all, luckily they were plain flavoured and stenchless so I'm on a promise for Thursday now!

by Brucester September 10, 2006

brown fudge sunday

No....not a mis-spelling. A day of the week upon which you should be afforded rest and relaxation, but due to the fact that you have three children under four years of age you spend that day packing a despatching shit pastys into the nappy bin.

"Hey come on, I've done six today already - you have a go,
I'm just having a brown fudge sunday and bugger all else"

by Brucester September 16, 2006

diarraulics

A continuous viscous blockage of the entire tract whereby the hydraulic effect of eating one meal simply guarantees that another is angrily spat out of the other end.

I don't know what to do, eating is useless, I'm suffering a diarraulics attack.

by Brucester September 16, 2006

trog

Troglodytes, cave dwellers. Caver, potholer, spelaeologist,
spelunker. A highly respectable name for anyone physically tough enough and experienced in exploring caves or potholes.
Someone of immense stamina - probably under 30 years of age.

There were actually quite a few trogs in there so it was a cool place to go drinking.

by Brucester September 11, 2006