Definitions by Brett Burkhardt
Secret Smoker
Kim was a classic Secret Smoker. She would lecture her kids about the evils of smoking all day but, come 2 am, she would sneak behind the garage and relax with a nice cigarette.
Secret Smoker by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
2 Beer Bisexual
The guys at Alpha Sig didn’t care that Mark was bi, they just wished he would be honest about it instead of being a 2 Beer Bisexual who uses drinking as an excuse to be his real self.
2 Beer Bisexual by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
Declaw
“If that receptionist says one damn thing about my hair, I will declaw her ass so fast.”
"If she starts getting catty, just say something about her husband leaving her for another woman. That'll declaw her in a second."
"If she starts getting catty, just say something about her husband leaving her for another woman. That'll declaw her in a second."
Declaw by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
Gym Widow
Someone who’s significant other has gone on a serious health kick and spends all their time working out.
Rich was happy that his wife was interested in getting the baby weight off but the fact that she spent 20 hours a week at the gym left him a gym widower.
Sara loved buff men but hated being a gym widow all the time.
Sara loved buff men but hated being a gym widow all the time.
Gym Widow by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
Booty Buddy
Not exactly a fuck buddy but someone who you have friendly conversation with just before and after sex during regular booty calls.
“Nick is a great Booty Buddy but I just don’t think we’d get along if we spent time together not having sex.”
Booty Buddy by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
Coupon Cunt
A person who has a thousand coupons that they drag everywhere with them and gets pissed if the one they try and use can’t be accepted.
What should have been a 3 minute stop to get a pack of smokes turned into a 20 minute ordeal because the Coupon Cunt in front of me refused to accept the fact that the store will not accept a coupon for cat food that expired in 2003.
Coupon Cunt by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
Golden Parachute Punk
Marge lost her 401K and all her company stock was worthless but the Golden Parachute Punk who drove the company into bankruptcy got a severance package of 20 million...the douche.
Golden Parachute Punk by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008