Brett Burkhardt's definitions
A man on the DL who lurks around public restrooms, parks, truck stops, porn stores, the locker room and shower at the gym, etc. looking for some random stranger(s) to have sex with.
I hate going to the gym on Thursdays after work. There’s this creepy DL Lurker who always seems to be hanging around in the shower or wandering the locker room in a towel.
I swear to God, her boyfriend is a down low lurker. I see him hanging around by the library bathroom three nights a week.
I swear to God, her boyfriend is a down low lurker. I see him hanging around by the library bathroom three nights a week.
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
Get the Down Low Lurker mug.“If that receptionist says one damn thing about my hair, I will declaw her ass so fast.”
"If she starts getting catty, just say something about her husband leaving her for another woman. That'll declaw her in a second."
"If she starts getting catty, just say something about her husband leaving her for another woman. That'll declaw her in a second."
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
Get the Declaw mug.A geek who, under his dorky cloths and silly glasses, has a really hot body and beautiful face. Usually has a great personality and is often socially awkward and completely unaware of his physical beauty.
Eric was shocked to see Steve from IT dancing at the bar. It turns out he's got the body of a Geek God under his lame, ill fitting work cloths.
by Brett Burkhardt March 9, 2008
Get the Geek God mug.“I’m calling Cassandra on this relationship right now. You’ve only been dating for 8 weeks and she’s borrowed over $10,000 from you. This is going to get worse, I’m warning you now.”
When I get into work tomorrow I’m going to call Cassandra on that cheap ass new bookkeeping program my boss bought. I can just see it crashing now and causing all sorts of hell for us.
When I get into work tomorrow I’m going to call Cassandra on that cheap ass new bookkeeping program my boss bought. I can just see it crashing now and causing all sorts of hell for us.
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
Get the Calling Cassandra mug.When the person you're talking to is mumbling and you can't understand a damn thing they're saying. Usually used in situations where they're giving you important information like a reservation number or directions on how to get somewhere.
A typical mumblefuck conversation.
"Can I get your order please?"
"Yeah-um...I'd *mumble*...and then *mumble* large *unknown stammering*"
"I'm sorry, what?"
"Hey, Amy, how do we get to your house from downtown?"
"You'll go down *mumble mumble mumble*...after that you'll take a *mumble* onto 4th *mumble*
"Hold on, Amy, just a sec....Guys, can you shut up for a sec, this is a real mumblefuck conversation and all your talking isn't making this any easier to hear."
"Can I get your order please?"
"Yeah-um...I'd *mumble*...and then *mumble* large *unknown stammering*"
"I'm sorry, what?"
"Hey, Amy, how do we get to your house from downtown?"
"You'll go down *mumble mumble mumble*...after that you'll take a *mumble* onto 4th *mumble*
"Hold on, Amy, just a sec....Guys, can you shut up for a sec, this is a real mumblefuck conversation and all your talking isn't making this any easier to hear."
by Brett Burkhardt May 12, 2008
Get the Mumblefuck mug.When you feign interest in a politician, political group, event, fundraiser, or offer aid to any of these groups or at these events just to try and get some ass.
Sean knows that he can get some great politipoon if he faked interest in the AIDS walk.
Mary was going to get her some politipoon. First she was going to volunteer at the Obama office, then she was going to stop by the Clinton office and, tomorrow, she was going to have a nice long talk with that hot guy who works the phones at the McCain office.
Mary was going to get her some politipoon. First she was going to volunteer at the Obama office, then she was going to stop by the Clinton office and, tomorrow, she was going to have a nice long talk with that hot guy who works the phones at the McCain office.
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
Get the Politipoon mug.Someone who uses a speaker phone to feel like they’re important or doing some sort of important business even thought it’s for something stupid.
Mike hated talking to speaker phony customers. He couldn’t hear half the shit they said and, because they were only ordering pizza, he thought they could just pick up the phone instead of trying to shout at it from half way across the room.
“That guy was such a speaker phony. He called in to talk about his late fee and was 'too busy' to use the regular phone because he was playing x-box 360.”
“That guy was such a speaker phony. He called in to talk about his late fee and was 'too busy' to use the regular phone because he was playing x-box 360.”
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
Get the Speaker Phony mug.