Bert Bert's definitions

fives

Five pounds sterling worth of herb. Can come in a bag or cling film.

Dealer: How much do you want?
Stoner: Do you shot fives?
Dealer: Standard, blud
Stoner: Meet me outside park in ten minutes
Dealer: Safe

by Bert Bert September 6, 2005

chump change

A derogative term that is used to refer to someone (nearly always white) who is always getting schooled at one on one basketball. The term is always used in a derogative way.

Baller: c'mon chump change...forget your game?
Chump Change: huh?
*shoots...scores
Baller: Count it, chump change
Chump Change: Damn...stop calling me that, G
Baller: Nigga Please! You got NO UPS!

by Bert Bert August 15, 2005

Gary Busey Scale Of Ugliness

A scale by which ugliness of an object is rated and can be used to compare the ugliness of two objects.
Internet pirate Maddox frequently uses this scale as a way of determining ugliness.
On the scale, a rating of 0 means least ugly, and a rating of Gary Busey means obnoxiously ugly.
For example, CNN's news anchor Rudi Bakhtiar would get a rating of 0 because she's super fine and a mere glance would result in nothing short of a medium-sized boner and a violent tossing session (despite the fact that she can't pronounce "Saddam")

Guy 1: "Man, that chicks at least an 8"
Guy 2: "WOOF!"

by Bert Bert August 8, 2005

what's crackalakin' homeslice?

Wigga for "what is happening, homeboy?"

Guy 1: "Brett thinks he's black"
Guy 2: "That wigga is fucked up"
Guy 3: "word"
Brett: "What's crackalakin' homeslice?"
Guy 2: "Go home Brett, your not black"
Brett: "DAAAMN! Y'all been drinkin' haterade up in hear!"

by Bert Bert August 8, 2005

fuzzy five

five, formerly known as Channel 5, is the United Kingdom's fifth terrestrial TV Channel. The British frequency plan only allowed for four channels to be transmitted using analogue terrestrial transmitters, so it was very difficult to allocate frequencies for the new channel before its launch in March of 1997 – UHF channel 37 was allocated in many areas, which meant that large numbers of domestic videorecorders (which output on that channel) had to be retuned at the new company's expense.

Unlike the other four analogue British television channels, the channel cannot be received via analogue terrestrial broadcasts in many areas, notably the south coast of England, where the signal would otherwise interfere with signals from television stations in France. The channel is available on all digital platforms (Sky Television satellite, and Freeview digital terrestrial, and also most cable operators).

This has lead to the channel's nickname "Fuzzy Five" since it is impossible to recieve a good signal.

Guy 1: Hey, Blud...What you watchin' like?
Guy 2: Van Damme is on Fuzzy Five, innit?
Guy 1: Oh, seen
------------
Guy 1: Got Sky, blud?
Guy 2: No, blud. I ain't rich, like...
Guy 1: Oh, seen
Guy 2: I only got 1, 2, 3, 4 and fuzzy five, innit...
Guy 1: Standard

by Bert Bert September 6, 2005

Huggy Bear

Your hook-up. The guy you know that hooks you up with all the coolest parties and knows EVERYONE.

Guy 1: Mohammed's my Huggy Bear
Guy 2: Yeah...what's going down Friday?
Guy 1: I will call, Moo... He'll know...
----------
Guy 1: Starsky and Hutch had Huggy Bear, Bond had M and me and Stu have Moo!

by Bert Bert September 6, 2005

Mountain Dew

The worst soft drink ever manufactured. One swig and you'll want to wash out the disgusting aftertase with a can of 'new coke'. It's that bad.

Buy sprite instead...

College Student 1: Got anything to drink?
College Student 2: Just some dew...
College Student 1: In that case why don't I just go upstairs and kill myself...
College Student 2: The rope's in the closet...
College Student 1: Thanks, dude...

by Bert Bert September 6, 2005