Bert Bert's definitions

fives

Five pounds sterling worth of herb. Can come in a bag or cling film.

Dealer: How much do you want?
Stoner: Do you shot fives?
Dealer: Standard, blud
Stoner: Meet me outside park in ten minutes
Dealer: Safe

by Bert Bert September 6, 2005

queensway (verb)

If you happen to play the Time Crisis machine at Queensway arcade in London, England, there are always losers breathing down your neck and saying shit to you who either (A) Have no money to play the game (B) Just like to watch (C) Are genuine assholes (D) Can't be bothered to wait so they piss you off so you either quit or die (in the game). This has become a verb: "to Queensway" or "Queenswaying" for anyone who is bothering you and asking questions over and over again that you don't want to answer.

Guy 1: Yo, give me your number, blud...
Guy 2: Chill
Guy 1: Quit being a bitch, blud...Get your phone number, blud...This is proper rude, like...Hand over your number blud...I got a happy slap video to send you like...BLUD!
Guy 2: You are proper Queenswaying me, blud...Shut the fuck up
Guy 1: Oh, seen

by Bert Bert September 6, 2005

The Octagon

A nickname for your penis. Featured in the Will Ferrell movie 'Anchorman'.
Very Effective...Works everytime with the ladies...They can't get enough of "THE OCTAGON"...

"I know what you're asking yourself and the answer is yes. I have a nick name for my penis. Its called the Octagon, but I also nick named my testes - my left one is James Westfall and my right one is Doctor Kenneth Noisewater. You ladies play your cards right you just might get to meet the whole gang."

by Bert Bert September 6, 2005

Gary Busey Scale Of Ugliness

A scale by which ugliness of an object is rated and can be used to compare the ugliness of two objects.
Internet pirate Maddox frequently uses this scale as a way of determining ugliness.
On the scale, a rating of 0 means least ugly, and a rating of Gary Busey means obnoxiously ugly.
For example, CNN's news anchor Rudi Bakhtiar would get a rating of 0 because she's super fine and a mere glance would result in nothing short of a medium-sized boner and a violent tossing session (despite the fact that she can't pronounce "Saddam")

Guy 1: "Man, that chicks at least an 8"
Guy 2: "WOOF!"

by Bert Bert August 8, 2005

tashing

Cheating on your girlfriend. Usually used as a secret code to other male friends when you pull a bird at the club and you are gonna get some.

Guy 1: Oi. is that Billy pulling that fit bird?!
Guy 2: Yeah, he's tashing on Shiela again...
Guy 1: Oh, seen
---------------
Guy 1: Tim's given us the signal, he's tashing
Guys: OI OI! 'Aight Tim!

by Bert Bert September 6, 2005

chump change

A derogative term that is used to refer to someone (nearly always white) who is always getting schooled at one on one basketball. The term is always used in a derogative way.

Baller: c'mon chump change...forget your game?
Chump Change: huh?
*shoots...scores
Baller: Count it, chump change
Chump Change: Damn...stop calling me that, G
Baller: Nigga Please! You got NO UPS!

by Bert Bert August 15, 2005

fuzzy five

five, formerly known as Channel 5, is the United Kingdom's fifth terrestrial TV Channel. The British frequency plan only allowed for four channels to be transmitted using analogue terrestrial transmitters, so it was very difficult to allocate frequencies for the new channel before its launch in March of 1997 – UHF channel 37 was allocated in many areas, which meant that large numbers of domestic videorecorders (which output on that channel) had to be retuned at the new company's expense.

Unlike the other four analogue British television channels, the channel cannot be received via analogue terrestrial broadcasts in many areas, notably the south coast of England, where the signal would otherwise interfere with signals from television stations in France. The channel is available on all digital platforms (Sky Television satellite, and Freeview digital terrestrial, and also most cable operators).

This has lead to the channel's nickname "Fuzzy Five" since it is impossible to recieve a good signal.

Guy 1: Hey, Blud...What you watchin' like?
Guy 2: Van Damme is on Fuzzy Five, innit?
Guy 1: Oh, seen
------------
Guy 1: Got Sky, blud?
Guy 2: No, blud. I ain't rich, like...
Guy 1: Oh, seen
Guy 2: I only got 1, 2, 3, 4 and fuzzy five, innit...
Guy 1: Standard

by Bert Bert September 6, 2005