Angus McCracken's definitions

Parking the Porpoise

A slang term for intercourse

I spent the whole night parking the porpoise with your sister.

by Angus McCracken January 27, 2020

Count Cuntula

A dude that absolutely loves eating pussy and is not deterred in the least when the lady he is snacking on is having her period.

Wipe that blood off your face dude. Who do you think you are Count Cuntula?

by Angus McCracken February 11, 2020

Couter-kitten

A young girl who is pursued romantically by an older lesbian.

Or who makes herself available to an older lesbian

There is no better way to start your day than waking up with a couter-kitten in your bed.

by Angus McCracken January 21, 2020

Head Elf

The elf responsible for blowing Santa when Mrs. Claus is busy baking cookies.

Man being the head elf is not all it is cracked up to be. Santa cums a small river and expects me to swallow.

by Angus McCracken February 8, 2020

Tracer Rounds

A military term (specifically in the infantry) for corn kernels that regardless of the degree to which they are chewed still appear as full kernels in the toilet.

What I like about corn is they are just like tracer rounds in a fire fight. When the shit hits there they are.

by Angus McCracken January 25, 2020

Buttcheek Cigar

A log of shit hanging from your buttcheeks just before it splashes into the toilet. If at this moment someone were to catch a glimpse of your butt it would appear as though your butt was a giant pair of hairy lips smoking a cigar.

OMG It smells like someone was smoking the old buttcheek cigar in there. Use some spray man.

by Angus McCracken February 10, 2020

Field Card

Very similar to a V Card that one surrenders upon loosing ones virginity this is a military term for new recruits who masturbate for the first time while on a military exercise.

Sir I have got poison ivy on my dick from surrendering my field card.

by Angus McCracken January 24, 2020