Alfred F.'s definitions
Spiraling depression. A condition in which a person feels that each day they live is worse than the preceding day. Most generally, this phrase applies to individuals whose personal lives are merely stagnant, rather than actually becoming worse by the day, as might be the case for a starving refugee or a cancer patient.
"Peter Gibbons: So I was sitting in my cubicle today, and I realized, ever since I started working, every single day of my life has been worse than the day before it. So that means that every single day that you see me, that's on the worst day of my life.
Dr. Swanson: What about today? Is today the worst day of your life?
Peter Gibbons: Yeah.
Dr. Swanson: Wow, that's messed up. "
Office Space, 1999
People who exhibit symptoms of worst day ever syndrome are urged to immediately seek professional help -- or to acquire a social life, whichever seems more feasible.
Dr. Swanson: What about today? Is today the worst day of your life?
Peter Gibbons: Yeah.
Dr. Swanson: Wow, that's messed up. "
Office Space, 1999
People who exhibit symptoms of worst day ever syndrome are urged to immediately seek professional help -- or to acquire a social life, whichever seems more feasible.
by Alfred F. May 6, 2008
Get the worst day ever syndrome mug.A man was riding a mule along a steep mountain trail. Suddenly, a cougar darted in front of him. The mule spooked, pitched him from the saddle, and ran further down the trail, taking the man's gun, gps beacon, and supplies with it. The man tried to run, but found that his ankle was broken. He attempted to back away, instead, but his ankle collapsed on some loose stones and he fell backwards toward the precipice, catching himself at the last moment on some old tree roots. As he hung there, with the cougar pawing at the gravel above him and the roots beginning to come free of the rocky soil, he saw a bright cluster of wild berries just within reach. In despair, the man leaned out, grabbed a handful and began chewing on them -- to his surprise, they were wonderfully sweet! Savoring their taste, the man decided that he had, by all rights, lived a good life, and he braced himself for the worst.
Suddenly, the cougar pounced! The man jerked back, and to his amazement, the cougar sailed past him, lost its footing on the slope it had aimed for, and plummeted to the canyon floor far beneath. A cascade of tiny stones followed the big cat, and larger stones followed those. The man looked around and realized that a larger set of tree roots had been revealed beneath the shifting stone. He wiped his free hand, reached out, and got a secure grip. Within a minute, he was back on the trail. As he was catching his breath, he saw his slightly skittish mule trotting back down the path, heading for home. He whistled, bringing it back to him. He made a quick splint for his ankle and threw himself back into the saddle.
A few hours later, he was back at his campsite, where he told his fellow campers one of the most amazing stories they had ever heard. The man ate a hearty meal, took some aspirin for his ankle and his nerves, and went to sleep in his tent, anxious for the morning ride back to civilization.
He never woke up. The berries he ate were poisonous.
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Whatever you are thinking, you haven't found the worst case scenario yet. Don't pretend that you have.
Suddenly, the cougar pounced! The man jerked back, and to his amazement, the cougar sailed past him, lost its footing on the slope it had aimed for, and plummeted to the canyon floor far beneath. A cascade of tiny stones followed the big cat, and larger stones followed those. The man looked around and realized that a larger set of tree roots had been revealed beneath the shifting stone. He wiped his free hand, reached out, and got a secure grip. Within a minute, he was back on the trail. As he was catching his breath, he saw his slightly skittish mule trotting back down the path, heading for home. He whistled, bringing it back to him. He made a quick splint for his ankle and threw himself back into the saddle.
A few hours later, he was back at his campsite, where he told his fellow campers one of the most amazing stories they had ever heard. The man ate a hearty meal, took some aspirin for his ankle and his nerves, and went to sleep in his tent, anxious for the morning ride back to civilization.
He never woke up. The berries he ate were poisonous.
---
Whatever you are thinking, you haven't found the worst case scenario yet. Don't pretend that you have.
by Alfred F. May 6, 2008
Get the worst case scenario mug.A misspelling of Hennessy, a Cognac liquor somewhat recently popularized by Tupac Shakur and several other performers. As listed in urbanDictionary, evidence of the mentality of many consumers of said liquor.
"LOL **** this hennesy crunk I poured got me royally ****ed up over here!!!"
"It's Hennessy, and Red Bull and Cognac don't mix, dip****."
"what the f*** your problem man? it all good"
"Not if you're making it out of my fridge."
"It's Hennessy, and Red Bull and Cognac don't mix, dip****."
"what the f*** your problem man? it all good"
"Not if you're making it out of my fridge."
by Alfred F. September 11, 2006
Get the hennesy mug.Aside from being a faddish 2000's pop culture exemplar of all things tough, monosyllabic, and righteously violent, Chuck Norris holds black belts in Tang Soo Do, Tae Kwon Do, Karate, and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu. His rise to Hollywood fame occurred when he starred as the villain opposite Bruce Lee in "Return of the Dragon." He played leads in a number of martial arts movies through the 80's, then was picked up for "Walker, Texas Ranger" in 1993, which aired for eight years on CBS. As of 2006, he continues to take on roles for various karate flicks, capitalizing intensely on his recent faddish popularity.
by Alfred F. September 12, 2006
Get the Chuck Norris mug.A misspelling of Hennessy, a Cognac liquor somewhat recently popularized by Tupac Shakur and several other performers. As listed in urbanDictionary, evidence of the mentality of many consumers of said liquor.
"LOL **** this henessy crunk I poured got me royally ****ed up over here!!!"
"It's Hennessy, and Red Bull and Cognac don't mix, dip****."
"what the f*** your problem man? it all good"
"Not if you're making it out of my fridge."
"It's Hennessy, and Red Bull and Cognac don't mix, dip****."
"what the f*** your problem man? it all good"
"Not if you're making it out of my fridge."
by Alfred F. March 26, 2007
Get the henessy mug.To roam around a kitchen eating either ready-to-consume food such as potato chips and crackers or unprepared culinary components such as dry tortillas/bread/cereal/pasta, condiments that would normally be on top of something else, desserts, or cold leftovers. Food thus consumed is usually washed down with beverages straight from the container. Foraged food is exemplified by a lack of preparation and by its consumer standing or pacing while eating. Many a diet focuses on preventing or limiting foraging.
Foraged food generally requires less effort than bachelor chow or ramen to prepare for eating; anything more than a wrapper or a lid between countertop and mouth may disqualify the food as foraged grub.
Foraged food generally requires less effort than bachelor chow or ramen to prepare for eating; anything more than a wrapper or a lid between countertop and mouth may disqualify the food as foraged grub.
Mom: what happened to the bag of croûtons I left on the counter for salad tonight?
Kid: *hides empty bag behind back*...I dunno.
Mom: Didn't I tell you not to forage between meals? You're going to make yourself sick. You're not a goat; don't eat like one. You're going to put on weight and stunt your growth. Back when I was your age...
Kid: *hides empty bag behind back*...I dunno.
Mom: Didn't I tell you not to forage between meals? You're going to make yourself sick. You're not a goat; don't eat like one. You're going to put on weight and stunt your growth. Back when I was your age...
by Alfred F. July 30, 2007
Get the Forage mug.Furry: What is it to be a furry? It is not a simple term to define. One has to consider, naturally, the anthropomorphic quality inherent in most instances of the proclivity, but really, it is more of a philosophy, a basic way of seeing a different form for yourself. That vision can be expressed in various ways, from artistry and poetic invention to socialization with like-minded folks. Generally, tbey share an interest in literature and imagery containing antrhopomorphic creatures. Most furries are pretty normal people, but in some cases...
Cynic: Dude, you get off dry humping people while wearing a fuzzy mascot suit and looking at doodled pictures of cat people.
Furry: W...what?
Cynic: Jeez, don't worry about it; whatever turns you on. I kind of like fat chicks. Just show some courtesy and shut up about it, ok? I don't go around saying that I've had some sort of intellectual revelation after I've shagged a whale.
Furry: *sniffle* But I don't...I mean, I mostly just appreciate the art and...
Cynic: Pardon me while I go appreciate some art "depicting" a BBW eating pork rinds and Twinkies off her belly.
Furry: You're sick.
Cynic: BUT AT LEAST I'M HONEST!!!
Cynic: Dude, you get off dry humping people while wearing a fuzzy mascot suit and looking at doodled pictures of cat people.
Furry: W...what?
Cynic: Jeez, don't worry about it; whatever turns you on. I kind of like fat chicks. Just show some courtesy and shut up about it, ok? I don't go around saying that I've had some sort of intellectual revelation after I've shagged a whale.
Furry: *sniffle* But I don't...I mean, I mostly just appreciate the art and...
Cynic: Pardon me while I go appreciate some art "depicting" a BBW eating pork rinds and Twinkies off her belly.
Furry: You're sick.
Cynic: BUT AT LEAST I'M HONEST!!!
by Alfred F. July 30, 2007
Get the furry mug.