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Alfie The Horndog's definitions

wolfsbane

A flowering plant found in damp areas of the foothills of mountainous regions in Europe and Asia. It is a member of the buttercup family.

The roots of this plant are a powerful neurotoxin. A piece of the root half the size of a grain of rice can kill an adult human within five seconds. The military has adapted this neurotoxin in gaseous form for chemical warfare.

In Roman times it was used by the lady Lydia to poison anyone who posed a threat to her son Tiberius becoming Emperor. She even used it to kill her own husband.

Diluted, the roots can be used topically as a local anesthetic and numbing agent. It is an active ingredient in many over the counter nerve pain homeopathic remedies.
I gave my mother-in-law a wolfsbane plant for her birthday, but unfortunately she didn't eat it.
by Alfie The Horndog September 11, 2010
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hero

Defined in the movie Serenity:

A hero is someone who gets a lot of OTHER people killed.
by Alfie The Horndog December 27, 2005
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wooley rocket

A pyrotechnically modified water rocket.

To make a wooley rocket, you just wrap tin foil around a water rocket and then ultra-fine steel wool around the tin foil.

Pump up the rocket with water and get it ready to launch. Then light the steel wool with a nine-volt battery and send it on it's way.

The rocket looks like a big fire-ball arching across the sky. Have a fire extinguisher ready though when it lands as it will definitely set whatever it lands on fire!
On the fourth of July I set off my wooley rocket and burned down my neighbors house.
by Alfie The Horndog July 4, 2006
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steelwool

Long continuous shaving of steel, iron or copper that is wrapped up in balls and sold in hardware stores.

Used for scrubbing, cleaning and buffing just about anything, they are avaliable in different thickness from super-coarse for scrubbing pots to ultra-fine for buffing balsa wood.

The ultra-fine stuff can bet set on fire with a nine-volt battery for cool firey and smokey effects. See wooley rocket.
Steelwool is very useful for electrically lighting fuses from a safe distance.
by Alfie The Horndog July 4, 2006
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Emily Post

The woman who literally wrote the book on etiquette. Also used as an antonym for anyone who has bad manners or doesn't care about manners.
You don't seem like the Emily Post type, so I'll go ahead and tell you the dirty joke.
by Alfie The Horndog March 30, 2006
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Evelyn Wood

A woman who developed a method for speed reading. Also used as a reference to her popular training method.

The Evelyn Wood speed reading method is a way of reading whole paragraphs at a time, filtering out common words and only look at uncommon words. By only looking at the uncommon words, you get the jist of each paragraph without actually having to read every single word in it.
Oh great! I was just glancing at a review for the movie we were going to see tonight and my Evelyn Wood training kicked in and now it's spoiled for me. So... why don't we just stay in bed instead?
by Alfie The Horndog March 30, 2006
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squeezebox

Momma has a squeezebox she wears on her chest, when daddy comes home he doesn't get no rest, because they're playing all night. And the music's just right. Momma has a squeezebox and daddy doesn't sleep at night!
by Alfie The Horndog March 30, 2006
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